DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mom to my 10-year-old son. I have dated on and off for six years. My question is, how soon is too soon to introduce male friends who may become boyfriends?

I don't want to scare a guy away, and I also don't want to risk having my son become attached to someone who may not be in the picture long. -- YOUNG IDAHO MOM

DEAR YOUNG MOM: Does your son know you're dating? Do the men you're seeing know you have a child? Any man who would be scared off after learning you have a son isn't for you anyway.

Ten-year-olds today are not as sheltered as they once were. If you are seeing someone regularly, your boy may be curious to meet him. Some women wait until a man is ready to commit before making an introduction. Others wait six months to a year. There are no hard and fast rules. Play it by ear.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a sophomore in high school, and I really like this girl, but there's a problem. I never know what to say to her -- or any girl, for that matter. The right words never come to mind. All my guy friends are what I guess you would call "ladies' men," and I'm tired of everyone else making fun of me.

I have liked this girl for a long time but she's -- how do you say it -- "out of my league." I have seen her turn down guys just like me. What should I do? -- SHY GUY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHY: Start talking to girls in general. Ask questions about school, athletic events, movies or television shows they may have seen. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become. You don't need to put yourself on the line by immediately asking anyone out. Just try to get to know them and their interests -- and let them get to know you. If you do, your chances of a girl saying yes when you ask one out will be better.

DEAR ABBY: I have been having an affair for several years. I deeply love this man. I love my husband, too, but in a different way. I don't understand how I can love two men so differently.

The love I feel for my lover is unconditional. When we are together it just feels right. I love my husband because he's a good man and father who would do anything for me. In other words, I love the person he is, but not the man himself.

My lover is younger than I am, and married. He's my best friend and I can confide anything to him. I have met some of his family, and I suspect some of them know about us.

My husband and I tried marriage counseling, but I can't seem to have with him what I have with my lover. I broke off the affair in an attempt to work things out with my husband, but it didn't work. I don't know what else to do. -- TORN IN FREEHOLD, N.J.

DEAR TORN: Because ending your affair and marriage counseling with your husband weren't able to fix what's missing in your marriage, perhaps it's time to call it quits. Your husband has done nothing wrong, and frankly, he deserves something better than half a wife.

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DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter, "Skye," is starting to go through puberty. She's not comfortable discussing things with me; instead she goes to her older sister with all her questions. They talk to each other in whispered tones in their bedroom with the door closed and locked.

When I try to discuss things with Skye, she becomes red in the face and refuses to talk to me. She is now ashamed to even have me see her undressed, but has no shyness about her body with her sister.

They have always had a close relationship, and I am pleased about that, but I feel shut out of what should be something between a mother and a daughter. I do not feel I have ever done anything to make Skye feel uncomfortable with me about such things, and I feel hurt to be excluded like this.

My older daughter was very open with me about what she was experiencing when she was going through puberty. I have tried to ask Skye what the problem is; she won't talk to me. What can I do? -- SHUT OUT IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR SHUT OUT: No two children are alike, and it appears that your younger daughter is modest to the extreme. It's possible that because Skye has always shared a room with her older sister, that's the reason she's more comfortable discussing the changes that are occurring with her rather than you.

My advice is to step back and don't push Skye. Be glad she can confide in her sister, and check with your older girl periodically to find out if there is anything you should know.

DEAR ABBY: Due to the war on terror and a renewed sense of patriotism, more individuals and businesses are displaying American flags. However, many appear to be unfamiliar with flag etiquette.

With Veterans Day approaching (Nov. 11), please encourage readers to inspect their flags and make sure they are being displayed correctly. If the flag is torn or dirty, it should be cleaned and mended, or disposed of with dignity. A properly handled flag is a sign of respect to those who have served, and currently serve, to protect the freedoms we Americans often take for granted. -- PROUD FAMILY MEMBER OF A VETERAN

DEAR PROUD FAMILY MEMBER: Your letter is timely and important. Proud Americans who display flags should be aware of a rule of flag etiquette that states that the flag should be in good condition. Sadly, I have seen more than a few that looked like faded red, white and blue rags.

According to the U.S. Flag Code, "When a flag has served its useful purpose, it should be destroyed, preferably by burning." The pamphlet "Flag Etiquette" published by the American Legion states: "For individual citizens this should be done discreetly so that the act is not perceived as a protest or desecration."

Many American Legion posts conduct Disposal of Unserviceable Flag ceremonies on June 14, Flag Day, each year. The Boy and Girl Scouts of America also are able to conduct these ceremonies. If you're ready to dispose of yours, check with the local Boy or Girl Scout Council -- or wait until the Girl Scout cookie sales start locally and offer the flag to a troop during a sale at a small business.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from "Lost in the Land of Aloha" (Sept. 1) and whether short men are considered less desirable -- height is relative. I am 5'3" and dated taller men, usually 6 feet and over, because those were the guys who just were around and seemed to be attracted to me.

Then I met my husband. He's 5 feet 6 inches and absolutely wonderful. Before me, he dated much taller women. He's kind, loving, showers me with affection, offers me understanding, is a fantastic father and a complete kid-magnet. He cooks, washes dishes, does laundry, changes diapers, and actually picks things up off the floor instead of vacuuming around them. I am the luckiest woman on this planet, and I know it.

Never pass up a short guy. They're not short -- they're fun-sized! -- VERY, VERY HAPPY WIFE IN TEXAS

DEAR WIFE: I received a tsunami of responses to my question, "Does height really matter?" And it shows there's no "shortage" of support for men like "Kal" ("Aloha's" friend) and your honey of a husband. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are both 5 feet 6 inches. In the past I was concerned that we didn't fit the stereotype of the man being taller than the woman, but it has actually worked out great. We can switch cars without having to adjust the seats and mirrors. Our lips line up exactly when we kiss. I never have to stand on my toes! On our wedding day, I wore gorgeous ballet flats. "Kal" will eventually find a woman who appreciates him for the breadth of his heart and not the length of his body. -- SEEING EYE TO EYE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: It's all a matter of personal preference. I need to think the man I'm with will be able to protect me if need be. I don't have that feeling with a short guy. And it doesn't matter how muscular he is -- it's the height that counts in my mind. -- LIKES LOOKING UP AT THE GUY

DEAR ABBY: You bet a man being tall makes a difference. I'm an average-sized bachelor who works around many attractive women. I get plenty of flirting and interest, but every time I meet one of my co-workers' husbands, he's a tall athletic stud. That's just the way it goes. -- THE SHORT OF IT IN LONGMONT, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: This may seem shallow, but height does matter to me. I'm a tall woman, and when I date men who are shorter than I am, I feel even bigger. It makes me uncomfortable, which does not make for a good date. -- TALL DRINK OF WATER IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: Aren't you aware that the vast majority of females prefer taller men? "Heightism" is a rampant and virulent prejudice. Even if a guy is an inch or two taller than the woman, he will be considered too short if he isn't taller than she is when she's wearing heels.

Women go gaga over the really tall guys. I can't count the number of times I've heard them brag about how tall their man happens to be. I have never heard a female boast, "My boyfriend's only 5 feet 6, but he really is all man." -- ROLAND IN MAINE

DEAR ABBY: Does height matter? Not a whit! I'm a 6-foot-2-inch guy. The men who catch my eye are in the 5-foot-7 to 5-foot-9-inch range, but I certainly don't draw the line. Shorter guys? Bring 'em on! (One at a time, though.) -- DON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: No matter how tall or short you are, the most important thing in a relationship cannot be measured: It's love. -- WISE ONE IN YUKON, OKLA.