DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with people in our church congregation who want to greet me with a kiss. Please advise me on how to handle this delicate situation.

I don't want to hurt any feelings; these are nice people. However, lips carry germs, and I have a weak immune system. I have tried extending my hand in greeting, but one man smooched me anyway, saying, "I don't shake hands with girls!" Abby, I'm 70 and hardly a "girl," and I didn't appreciate his rejection of my handshake.

Do you think it will work if I tell him and others that I have a contagious disease that causes men's lips to dry up and fall off? -- DEANNA IN FLORIDA

DEAR DEANNA: No. It would be more to the point to tell your fellow church members that you have a fragile immune system and are susceptible to viruses -- which is why you prefer to shake hands. It's the truth. And if the man who smooched you continues to be a problem, talk to your clergyperson about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have met my soul mate. She has the same name as my ex-wife. How do we remedy this? It is driving me nuts! -- SCOTT IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR SCOTT: Remember when you were in school and there were several students in a class who shared the same name? Some of them would adopt a nickname. If it's OK with your soul mate, she can certainly do the same. But consider the upside for you. The fact that your new lady's and ex-wife's names match guarantees you won't ever slip and call her by the wrong one.

DEAR ABBY: I am hoping you might have a suggestion on how to handle cigarette smokers who ignore my requests to not smoke in my direction. I have severe allergies, and I also suffer from dry eye syndrome. Even after I have told smokers that their addiction worsens my condition they continue, assuming that by cracking a window the room is ventilated. -- FRUSTRATED IN TURLOCK, CALIF.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I do have a suggestion, one that is time-honored and effective. Safeguard your health by avoiding anyone who continues to smoke after having been told that it negatively affects you.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I married an old and dear friend. We have both been through marriage, divorce and difficult relationships. At last, I finally found the person I was meant to be with.

My husband's parents have been gone for several years, but I was fortunate enough to know them before they died. We went to visit their graves the day after our wedding, and I placed two pennies I had been saving on their headstone -- one dated 1968 for me and one dated 1963 for him.

Last week I received several pennies in change and dropped them into my wallet. When I fished them out later, I was delighted to see that one was from 1968 and the other was from 1963! I believe in my heart it's his parents' way of telling us that they are happy we are together. -- LUCKY BRIDE IN MAINE

DEAR LUCKY BRIDE: And I can't think of a more meaningful wedding gift you could have received from your late in-laws. May you and your soul mate enjoy many happy, healthy years together.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mom to my 10-year-old son. I have dated on and off for six years. My question is, how soon is too soon to introduce male friends who may become boyfriends?

I don't want to scare a guy away, and I also don't want to risk having my son become attached to someone who may not be in the picture long. -- YOUNG IDAHO MOM

DEAR YOUNG MOM: Does your son know you're dating? Do the men you're seeing know you have a child? Any man who would be scared off after learning you have a son isn't for you anyway.

Ten-year-olds today are not as sheltered as they once were. If you are seeing someone regularly, your boy may be curious to meet him. Some women wait until a man is ready to commit before making an introduction. Others wait six months to a year. There are no hard and fast rules. Play it by ear.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a sophomore in high school, and I really like this girl, but there's a problem. I never know what to say to her -- or any girl, for that matter. The right words never come to mind. All my guy friends are what I guess you would call "ladies' men," and I'm tired of everyone else making fun of me.

I have liked this girl for a long time but she's -- how do you say it -- "out of my league." I have seen her turn down guys just like me. What should I do? -- SHY GUY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHY: Start talking to girls in general. Ask questions about school, athletic events, movies or television shows they may have seen. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become. You don't need to put yourself on the line by immediately asking anyone out. Just try to get to know them and their interests -- and let them get to know you. If you do, your chances of a girl saying yes when you ask one out will be better.

DEAR ABBY: I have been having an affair for several years. I deeply love this man. I love my husband, too, but in a different way. I don't understand how I can love two men so differently.

The love I feel for my lover is unconditional. When we are together it just feels right. I love my husband because he's a good man and father who would do anything for me. In other words, I love the person he is, but not the man himself.

My lover is younger than I am, and married. He's my best friend and I can confide anything to him. I have met some of his family, and I suspect some of them know about us.

My husband and I tried marriage counseling, but I can't seem to have with him what I have with my lover. I broke off the affair in an attempt to work things out with my husband, but it didn't work. I don't know what else to do. -- TORN IN FREEHOLD, N.J.

DEAR TORN: Because ending your affair and marriage counseling with your husband weren't able to fix what's missing in your marriage, perhaps it's time to call it quits. Your husband has done nothing wrong, and frankly, he deserves something better than half a wife.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter, "Skye," is starting to go through puberty. She's not comfortable discussing things with me; instead she goes to her older sister with all her questions. They talk to each other in whispered tones in their bedroom with the door closed and locked.

When I try to discuss things with Skye, she becomes red in the face and refuses to talk to me. She is now ashamed to even have me see her undressed, but has no shyness about her body with her sister.

They have always had a close relationship, and I am pleased about that, but I feel shut out of what should be something between a mother and a daughter. I do not feel I have ever done anything to make Skye feel uncomfortable with me about such things, and I feel hurt to be excluded like this.

My older daughter was very open with me about what she was experiencing when she was going through puberty. I have tried to ask Skye what the problem is; she won't talk to me. What can I do? -- SHUT OUT IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR SHUT OUT: No two children are alike, and it appears that your younger daughter is modest to the extreme. It's possible that because Skye has always shared a room with her older sister, that's the reason she's more comfortable discussing the changes that are occurring with her rather than you.

My advice is to step back and don't push Skye. Be glad she can confide in her sister, and check with your older girl periodically to find out if there is anything you should know.

DEAR ABBY: Due to the war on terror and a renewed sense of patriotism, more individuals and businesses are displaying American flags. However, many appear to be unfamiliar with flag etiquette.

With Veterans Day approaching (Nov. 11), please encourage readers to inspect their flags and make sure they are being displayed correctly. If the flag is torn or dirty, it should be cleaned and mended, or disposed of with dignity. A properly handled flag is a sign of respect to those who have served, and currently serve, to protect the freedoms we Americans often take for granted. -- PROUD FAMILY MEMBER OF A VETERAN

DEAR PROUD FAMILY MEMBER: Your letter is timely and important. Proud Americans who display flags should be aware of a rule of flag etiquette that states that the flag should be in good condition. Sadly, I have seen more than a few that looked like faded red, white and blue rags.

According to the U.S. Flag Code, "When a flag has served its useful purpose, it should be destroyed, preferably by burning." The pamphlet "Flag Etiquette" published by the American Legion states: "For individual citizens this should be done discreetly so that the act is not perceived as a protest or desecration."

Many American Legion posts conduct Disposal of Unserviceable Flag ceremonies on June 14, Flag Day, each year. The Boy and Girl Scouts of America also are able to conduct these ceremonies. If you're ready to dispose of yours, check with the local Boy or Girl Scout Council -- or wait until the Girl Scout cookie sales start locally and offer the flag to a troop during a sale at a small business.