DEAR ABBY: Last year for Thanksgiving, I made a special effort to get the entire family together for the traditional meal. All 13 of us met at my mother's home and everyone was to bring a dish or two to share.

One of my brothers has two college-age daughters. Both are vegan, and he insisted that all the dishes we brought be vegan! I did it, but I resented it because I felt that two out of 13 people should not decide the menu. If they wanted vegan dishes, they should bring something for themselves, while the rest of us brought what we wanted.

My brother and nieces are now asking what we're doing this year for Thanksgiving. Frankly, I don't want to go through that again. Am I wrong in thinking everyone should not bend over backward for the vegan meal? I don't mind some of the menu accommodating them, but I don't think the whole dinner should be altered. -- TURKEY EATER IN TEXAS

DEAR TURKEY EATER: Neither do I. And the response you should give your brother (and his daughters) is that you'll be serving a traditional Thanksgiving dinner this year, so they can either bring something they will enjoy or make other plans.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column every day and find it interesting and useful. Many of the writers have the same emotions and problems as I do. I'm always pleased to see that I am not too far off.

I am a woman who married for the second time after 54 years of marriage. I was 71 and had been a widow for only one year. I had married my late husband at 16, and thought I could not live alone.

Do you have any words of wisdom for someone such as myself? Older people are so set in their ways that blending is so very difficult. -- HAVING TROUBLE IN FLORIDA

DEAR HAVING TROUBLE: If you remarried only because you were afraid of living alone, then you did it for the wrong reason. There are worse things than living alone -- and one of them is being married to a person who is unwilling to compromise. The keys to a successful union are affection, communication, respect and compromise. If both parties sincerely care about and respect each other, the union will be successful and lasting.

DEAR ABBY: My wife recently attended her 35th high school reunion alone. Her high school sweetheart was there, and they talked and exchanged e-mail addresses. As the night wore on, he started making advances and my wife rebuffed him somewhat rudely. Three days later, she e-mailed him an apology and they started an eight-week exchange.

I suspected something was wrong and checked her e-mails, where I discovered some pretty torrid messages and a dinner meeting being planned. When I confronted my wife, she denied everything -- until I gave her copies of the e-mails. She says they never met, but I say the intent was there. To me, this is the same as a physical affair. She disagrees. Who is right? -- DECEIVED IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DECEIVED: You are. The only thing that prevented things from proceeding further was the fact that you intervened. And if your wife had been proud of what she was doing she wouldn't have lied to you.

DEAR ABBY: My adult son committed suicide. He was an alcoholic with many problems. Every year around the time of his death I become very depressed and emotional. Is this normal? Members of my family think I should "get over it." -- EMOTIONAL MOM IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR EMOTIONAL MOM: The members of your family are mistaken. Your feelings are perfectly normal.

The problem of suicide in America is no secret. It has been in the headlines repeatedly, and more than 30,000 people take their lives annually. Because of the shame and stigma that are unfortunately still attached to suicide, many people are left to suffer in silence.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), more than 80 percent of us will lose someone to suicide at some point during our lives. This is why the organization sponsors National Survivors of Suicide Day every year on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. (This year it's November 20.) It's a day when surviving parents, children, siblings, spouses and friends gather at locations from Nashville to Nepal and take comfort in being with others who know what it means to lose a loved one to suicide.

Readers, to find out more information, visit the foundation's website at � HYPERLINK "http://www.AFSP.org" ��www.AFSP.org�. It lists many excellent resources including a book I especially like titled, "Why Suicide?" by Eric Marcus. Published by Harper One, it's compassionate, informative, heartfelt and a must-read for anyone whose life has been touched by suicide.

DEAR ABBY: I relocated to live with "Zack," my boyfriend of one year. Now that I'm here I'm afraid that I adore him more than I am adored. I'm not the clingy type, but Zack never cuddles. Sex is not discussed -- and never "my" way.

Most things are like that. He isn't abusive -- just uncompromising, lazy and selfish. To make matters worse, we share the house with a family member of his who has the same spoiled teenager attitude.

I'm the one who cooks, cleans, shovels snow, takes care of the dog and has the guts to call the landlord about issues. I have asked Zack to help and to ask for help from his relative. He excuses his relative from responsibility and will help me with that one request -- at that moment only. They have no regular chores. I experimented with the bathroom wastebasket -- it overflowed for weeks because I didn't empty it.

I am growing resentful and angry. If I say anything, Zack rolls his eyes at me like I'm an idiot and asks me how I come up with all the "stuff" I gripe about. I feel like I'm the parent of two teenagers with overdeveloped ideas of entitlement, even though we all have an equal stake in this house.

Is there a different approach I can use, or should I do what I have been considering for a while -- throw in the towel and move out? -- READY TO BAIL IN SIOUX FALLS, S.D.

DEAR READY TO BAIL: Go ahead and bail. Zack and his relative are treating you like an unpaid housemaid and no one's girlfriend. The longer you tolerate this situation, the longer it will continue. So start packing. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

DEAR VETERANS: Today is Veteran's Day and your numbers are growing. Please allow me to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you -- as well as those men and women who are still on active duty -- for your service to our nation. I salute you.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is pressuring me to take his camera cell phone with me into the girls' locker room and take pictures of the other girls with little or nothing on. He says it has always been a "fantasy" of his, and that if I really love him I'll help him fulfill his fantasy.

He promises to keep the pictures secret and says that what the other girls don't know won't hurt them. He offered to do the same for me and take pictures in the boys' locker room, but I'm not interested. I know it would be wrong to do it, and I wouldn't want someone secretly taking pictures of me.

He hinted that if I refuse he will look for another girl who will. I'm scared of losing him because I'm not much to look at, and he's the only boy who has ever shown any interest in me. I know you're not going to tell me to go ahead and do this, so I'm not sure why I'm writing, but I would appreciate any advice you can give me. -- DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM: I'm glad you wrote. If you do what this boy is pushing you to do, you could be thrown out of school. He will not be able to resist the urge to show the pictures to his friends -- and possibly put them on the Internet. It would be a huge invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, and regardless of what he says, it will NOT bring you closer together.

If he truly cared about you, he would never ask you to do something that could get you into serious trouble. You could be accused of creating and distributing pornographic material, and there could be legal liability. The penalty you would pay isn't worth the "interest" he's showing in you. Run!

DEAR ABBY: Two friends and I recently went on a trip together. While on the trip, one of them told me she knows how old I am because she looked it up online. My reply was that a friend would ask me for that kind of information, and if I didn't want to reveal my age she would respect my wishes.

Abby, I wonder about her reason for letting me know she was looking up information about me on the Internet. Am I wrong to be upset over it? Her response was that "everyone" does it, and because I was offended she will no longer speak to me. Did I overreact? -- AGELESS TEXAN

DEAR AGELESS TEXAN: (Or should I say "formerly" ageless?) If the subject of your age came up during the trip and you expressed reluctance to reveal yours, then what the woman did was one-up you. That she would then imply that you were "wrong" to feel invaded and to no longer speak to you is her attempt to blame you for your very normal reaction.

That said, along with the "blessing" of the Internet has come the sobering reality that there are enormous amounts of information about all of us on it (some true, some not), and that anyone who is curious or nosy can mine it to his or her heart's content -- which is what happened to you. And no, you did not overreact.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have had a long-standing disagreement. Her family leaves the price tags on all gifts. This has caused our children to expect that I spend the same amount on them for Christmas and birthdays. I feel they have become materialistic and have lost the meaning behind the gifts. My family never left the price tags on, and I feel that doing so is tacky. What's your opinion? -- $$$ IN HAMMOND, ILL.

DEAR $$$: I agree with you. Leaving the price tag on a gift IS tacky.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)