DEAR ABBY: My mom died of an aneurysm 23 years ago. I was only 7. I occasionally hear an aunt or uncle talk about how much they loved her and miss her.

I moved in with an aunt when I was 5, due to abuse from my father. Two years later, my mom was gone. As kids, my brother and I never received counseling. We bounced from home to home and finally ended up in a stable environment with our grandma.

I usually feel guilty when people talk about my mom because I cannot relate. I tell myself that maybe God sacrificed her so I could have a good life. Sometimes, I feel more anger than love toward her because of the abuse and abandonment.

What am I supposed to feel about her? Can someone love a person they never knew? To be honest, I don't know how to feel about my mother. -- EMOTIONLESS IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR EMOTIONLESS: It is very difficult to love someone you never knew. And from your description of your childhood, your feelings are understandable. However, because those feelings are bothering you and creating guilt, they should be discussed with a licensed professional. If you do, you will gain a better understanding not only of yourself, but also the dynamics in your family. You do not deserve to be carrying around any guilt at all.

DEAR ABBY: When people have a serious illness, their friends and family usually send "Get Well" messages and flowers to the hospital. Unfortunately, it isn't the custom to send supportive greetings and gifts to those who are dealing with psychiatric illnesses. These people deserve all of the attention and good wishes that other patients receive.

Please let it be known that psychiatric illnesses are treatable and recovery is possible. Support in all forms is essential in all patients' progress toward recovering from serious illness of any kind. -- KATHY IN UNIVERSAL CITY, TEXAS

DEAR KATHY: You make a good point. The reason some people may be hesitant to acknowledge someone's mental illness may be the stigma that's still attached to these kinds of problems. For that same reason, there may be a reluctance on the part of the patient's family to reveal there is a problem so serious their family member must be hospitalized.

But you're absolutely right. When people are ill, they need to know they're cared about -- and a card with warm good wishes is a step in the right direction.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and have a big problem. My teacher, "Mrs. Smith," adores me. She is always calling on me and telling the class about all the things I'm doing correctly. After she does it, the other kids glare at me and call me "Teacher's Pet." It makes me uncomfortable, but I can't help it if Mrs. Smith likes me. What should I do? -- DON'T WANT TO BE TEACHER'S PET

DEAR DON'T: When a student excels at athletics, music or drama, it usually makes the boy or girl a celebrity on campus. Sadly, the same is often not true when a student excels at academics, and it's a shame. Because being used as an example is making you a target, ask your teacher to tone it down. And if it doesn't happen, have your mother speak to the teacher and/or the principal, if necessary.

DEAR ABBY: While standing in a checkout line yesterday, I witnessed a cashier speak to the older woman in front of me in a condescending manner. She kept calling her "Sweetie" and talking to her as if she were a 3-year-old. The woman was obviously offended, but said nothing.

I experienced this kind of behavior often when my mother was alive. Receptionists, waitresses, store clerks and others would direct their questions to me and talk to me while my mother stood there, perfectly capable of answering the questions herself. I'm sure these people did not intend to be rude or disrespectful. However, it was extremely annoying to both Mother and me.

Because a person is elderly does not mean he or she is senile. Regardless of their mental capacity, older people have earned the right to be treated with dignity and respect. -- OFFENDED IN KINGSPORT, TENN.

DEAR OFFENDED: I'm glad you wrote. I have seen it happen, too, and with people who should have known better. And when it did happen, the offender was sometimes called on it in a way that wasn't at all "sweet."

Readers, if this letter strikes a familiar chord, please remember that most senior citizens are completely in control of their faculties and treat them accordingly. (Or risk losing a customer.)

DEAR ABBY: At least two or three times a week, I receive requests for donations from various organizations. Many times the envelopes contain address labels, calendars and notepads. As much as I would like, I can't afford to donate to every cause. Is it wrong to use these "gifts" if I don't contribute? It's a shame to waste them -- especially the address labels. No one else can use them.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who struggles with this moral dilemma. I'd really like your input. -- FEELING GUILTY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: The organizations that send those unsolicited mailings count on the recipients feeling so guilty that they'll send something. If using the unsolicited "gifts" makes you feel guilty, toss them or don't open the envelope in the first place.

Compile a list of those causes that you wish to give to, decide what amount you have to donate to all of them, divide the total and send your checks. And as you do, check them off your list to make sure you won't accidentally give twice because many (not all) organizations solicit more than once a year, hoping donors will forget they have given and send more.

DEAR ABBY: I am seeing a therapist for my depression. The problem is I find myself wanting to have sexual relations with him. I'm 23, and he's older than my father, who is 63! What's wrong with me? Obviously, I can't have an affair with my therapist, and I desperately do not want to change doctors. Please help. -- LOVESICK PATIENT IN MONTANA

DEAR LOVESICK: What's going on with you is very common. There is a name for it: transference. While this may be embarrassing to you, I assure you your therapist has heard it before. It's not necessary that you change doctors, but it is important that you be honest about your feelings. (Nobody ever said therapy was for the faint of heart!)

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old senior in high school. My boyfriend, "Kenny," is 18 and goes to college five hours away. I'd like to visit him over the weekend sometime, but I need my parents' permission. Mom is OK with it, as long as I take the train (she doesn't want me driving that distance alone) and I pay for it. Dad is old-fashioned. He dislikes the fact that Kenny and I would be unsupervised in his dorm for a whole weekend, even though Kenny has a roommate.

We've been together for a long time and have been unsupervised before, but Dad's still uneasy. He treats me like I'm younger than my age. I'm almost 18 and have traveled alone by plane. I'm respectful to my parents and feel I deserve Dad's trust.

Kenny and I love each other, but having a long-distance relationship is difficult since we hardly get to see each other. Dad likes and approves of Kenny, but thinks it's "unnecessary" for me to visit him since we call, Skype and text each other often. How can I get my father to see my point of view? -- GROWN-UP GIRL IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GROWN-UP GIRL: You probably can't -- but your mother may be able to, which is why you should enlist her help in talking to your father for you. However, if that doesn't work, the alternative would be for Kenny to travel to visit you when he's able to get away for a weekend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dan," and I have been married for a year, but we dated for six years. He has been pressuring me to get pregnant.

I'm not ready to be a mom. I work and go to school. Every time we talk about having a baby, Dan becomes irate and yells that he'll divorce me for being selfish. I can never get my point across when I talk to him. I considered getting pregnant so he will shut up and leave me alone. I am so unhappy. He always puts his needs before mine.

I realize that married couples make sacrifices, but Dan isn't willing to. We have issues to work on, but he has made it clear that he isn't going to change. It's his way or the highway.

I still love Dan and would hate to fail as a wife, but what can I do? I knew Dan could be controlling, but I thought things would be better after we were married. I just turned 26 and I'm learning more about life. I can see that this was never a healthy relationship. But I have invested seven years of my life with this man. Please help! -- STANDING AROUND IN NEWARK, N.J.

DEAR STANDING AROUND: Staying married to someone because you have invested seven years is a poor reason to stay married. Seven more years and a baby (or more) will not improve your husband's controlling nature. If you think "my way or the highway" seems difficult now, imagine yourself on the highway with a child or two in tow.

You have serious decisions to make about your future. I agree that the relationship you have described is not healthy. How much more time do you plan to invest? Unless your husband realizes he needs help, he won't change. Please talk to a licensed counselor. You need more help than anyone can offer in an advice column.

TO MY IRISH READERS: A very happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. -- LOVE, ABBY

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)