DEAR ABBY: I have 10-year-old twin boys. "Frank" is popular with the boys in his class, while "Jake" has only one close friend, "Tommy." When Frank is invited to parties, sleepovers, movies, swimming and play dates, Jake is left out and never invited. Tommy is a great kid, but comes from a family that isn't very social. We invite Tommy to our home, but Jake isn't invited back.

I feel terrible when I see how sad Jake is when his brother is constantly going off to do fun things and he's left at home. We try to keep Jake busy with enjoyable activities when this happens, but it's not the same.

While Frank has a right to have his own friends, sometimes I feel I should say something to the parents about how much their leaving Jake out is hurting his feelings and self-confidence. -- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR HEARTBROKEN MOM: I don't recommend saying anything to the parents of Frank's friends because it could backfire. Boys that age pick their own friends, and if Jake was forced on them, no one would be happy about it -- including Jake. Instead, continue inviting Tommy over and explore activities outside of school where Jake can shine in his own right. That will do more for his self-confidence than tagging along with his brother where he really isn't wanted.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Marshall" is 36. He's handsome, has a great job, is a wonderful son and would be a tremendous "catch." The problem is Marshall has no interest in marriage or even dating. He was in a relationship six or seven years ago that ended badly. Since then, he has decided he doesn't want any woman getting close to him. He hasn't been on a date since.

Marshall spends his time hunting, fishing and playing/watching sports with his single and divorced friends. It doesn't help that the divorced friends tell him he's doing the right thing by staying single, and how they wish they had done the same thing.

Every time I raise the subject, he tells me he's happy with his life and doesn't want to change. How do I get through to him? My husband says we should let him do what he wants because it's his life. But I have trouble accepting that my son wants to stay single the rest of his life. Help! -- PROTECTIVE MOM IN OHIO

DEAR MOM: That's understandable. You come from a generation in which marriage was the norm. However, in the decades since you were married there has been a slow (but steady) erosion in the percentage of Americans who think marriage is important.

Your son may have much to offer, but if he isn't interested in closeness, intimacy and partnership, he probably wouldn't be very good at it. So trust him, love him, and don't push him. Marriage, when it's a good one, is wonderful. But it is no longer a must, and more and more people are concluding it isn't for everyone.

DEAR ABBY: You often refer your readers who are troubled to doctors and clergy. Another reference to consider is the Human Resource professionals at their workplace. We offer a variety of programs to assist our employees with financial and family issues. We want healthy and happy employees. -- HELPING HANDS IN CORTE MADERA, CALIF.

DEAR HELPING: With mental health services stressed to the max because of cutbacks, this is certainly a worthwhile option. Thank you for the suggestion.

DEAR READERS: It's April 1, the day I get to share some of the occasional letters I receive from folks who are pulling my leg. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 23 years is threatening to divorce me on the grounds that I'm "unreasonable." Is it unreasonable for me to attempt to keep my socks oriented to the proper feet? When I put my socks on the wrong feet, I run around in circles and become disoriented. I know women don't have this problem because they wear pantyhose -- so it's impossible to put them on the wrong feet.

I sewed a bit of red yarn on the tops of my right socks so I could keep them straight. My wife says I'm crazy, but I insist, "Right on right; left on left."

So tell me, Abby -- must I run in stupid circles and endure moments of disorientation and embarrassment? Or should I forgo the red yarn and hang in there with my wife to preserve our marriage? -- DISTURBED KENTUCKY MAN

DEAR DISTURBED KENTUCKY MAN: And a happy April Fools' Day to you, too. The red yarn is preferable to the yarn you have spun for me. (It's also preferable to running in circles like a decapitated chicken.) And you're mistaken about women's pantyhose. Ask any woman who has put hers on backward.

DEAR ABBY: I'm concerned about my youngest son, "Sammy." From the moment he gets up each day until the time he retires at night, he spends almost the entire time playing in the sandbox in our backyard.

My wife and I are alarmed by his bizarre behavior, and incidentally, so is his wife. What should we do? -- WORRIED DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR WORRIED DAD: Be sure to brush him off if he ever runs a marathon to prevent diaper rash.

DEAR ABBY: Lately I've been having some strange dreams. I cannot explain how I come up with this stuff. The other night I had a doozy: whips, chains, whistles, yo-yos, circus midgets, a duck, a Romanian peasant woman, and my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger. Please advise. -- CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

DEAR CALIFORNIA DREAMIN': What a coincidence! I had that very same dream last night. Your grandmother sure gets around.

DEAR ABBY: I hate bothering you because I know you're busy, but I have been getting the runaround from my TV provider. I have asked them repeatedly to send someone over to fix my set, but they keep saying it can be fixed by remote control. I've got a black screen and it just doesn't work. Can you come over to fix it? -- MISSING JERRY SPRINGER IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR MISSING JERRY: I help people solve relationship problems, but the one you're having with your TV set does not qualify. Sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I prefer to sleep facing in; my husband prefers to sleep facing out. My problem is when he's gassy -- which is often -- it puts me "in the line of fire." We've talked about how to deal with this problem, but haven't been able to come up with a solution. Any suggestions? -- GAS TAXED IN NEWARK, DEL.

DEAR GAS TAXED: Yes. Switch sides!

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 30s and have been dating "Rick" for six years. The problem is his daughter, "Janet." We used to get along, but now she hates me. She calls me awful names and says she wishes I would go away.

I recently asked Rick to marry me. Now Janet says I am "desperate" and she refuses to talk to either of us. I don't know what to say to her. I'm appalled at her attitude toward me, the language she uses and the things she's saying about me to her friends on the Internet. She won't listen to her dad. Her mother is encouraging her behavior and has been threatening me.

I can't get Janet to understand that her dad and I love each other, that it's all right for a woman to ask a man to marry her and it's not out of "desperation." Please help. -- NOT DESPERATE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR NOT DESPERATE: Toughen up. Recognize that for all of the joy Rick brings you, Janet is his extremely immature daughter and she's part of the package. How old is the girl? She appears to have years of growing up to do. You can't change her behavior, so go on with your life without seeking her approval. Unfortunately, nasty ex-wives are nothing new. If the ex does anything beyond "threaten" you, file a police report and let them deal with her.

DEAR ABBY: Can common sense be learned or taught? Some people seem to be born with it. Others have "book smarts" but struggle with everyday common sense.

I fail to grasp simple connections, and I sometimes ask questions that have obvious answers -- for someone else. I know other people who share the same problem, and I admire those who simply seem to "get" what's happening around them.

Is there any way to improve? I'm 38 and married to a man who has strengths in both areas. -- BOOKWORM IN MONTANA

DEAR BOOKWORM: Nobody has everything. Your strength is your intellect. Not everyone is a good student, and it can affect their self-esteem as much or more than your worry about not having common sense. If it's any comfort, people usually acquire common sense in the school of life. In other words, they learn from the mistakes they make. I'm sure you have done that and will continue to do so.

DEAR ABBY: My 34-year-old daughter blames me for her poor penmanship. When she was a baby, she started grabbing things with her left hand. Her pediatrician advised me to force her to use her right hand. Could she have had better penmanship if she had not been forced to use her right hand? -- GUILTY MOM IN MADISON, ALA.

DEAR GUILTY MOM: Probably. Your pediatrician must have been very old or very "old school." I am also left-handed, and when I was a child, educators had stopped forcing children to write in a way that was unnatural for them. I was taught to properly hold a pencil, we practiced printing and cursive penmanship, and I am told my handwriting is beautiful.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)