DEAR ABBY: I am currently deployed in Afghanistan. My best friend's little sister, "Brittany," has had a crush on me for years. She has been straightforward about what she wants -- marriage, kids, white picket fence, etc. She has always been like a little sister, so it has been awkward. I thought it was weird for a 15-year-old (at the time) to say that to an older soldier on R&R.

During my deployment Brittany has sent me care packages loaded with cookies. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut about my weakness for homemade cookies, but hindsight is 20/20. Brittany has now called in the bribe by inviting me to her senior prom. Not wanting to mess with the steady supply of baked goods, I said yes. I figure it's an appropriate way to say thanks for the cookies.

I intend to make sure Brittany enjoys her prom with her medal-covered arm candy, but I need to let her know that while I'm flattered she thinks so highly of me, I'm not interested in dating her. I love her like a sister. I don't want to break her heart.

Any suggestions for a guy who's about as subtle as a tank rolling down a cobblestone road on a Sunday? -- MEDAL-COVERED EYE CANDY

DEAR EYE CANDY: How long has it been since you've seen Brittany? When you return for that prom, she will no longer be that precocious 15-year-old you remember. By all means show her a nice evening. But don't say anything you might regret or you may have to eat your words instead of those cookies. If you're not romantically interested, you'll date other women and Brittany will catch on soon enough. And you may find that after her glamorous evening with her medal-covered war hero, she sets her sights on someone other than you. Stranger things have happened.

DEAR ABBY: Spring is here, and with it comes the wedding season. Would you please inform your readers about the importance of answering wedding RSVPs? A lot of people appear to need reminding about the need to respond. Thanks! -- MOTHER OF A BRIDE AND GROOM

DEAR MOTHER: I'm glad to oblige -- and congratulations on the double blessing that's coming your way in gaining both a daughter and a son!

Readers: When a formal invitation is received, you should immediately return the RSVP card that's enclosed with it. RSVP is the abbreviation for the French phrase "Repondez s'il vous plait," which means "Please reply." It's important for the people planning the affair to know how many guests will attend so they can be properly provided for -- for obvious reasons. So please be polite and don't keep them wondering.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with a woman named "Camille" who has three children from three different fathers. She has never been married. She also has a male "friend" whom she has her children calling "Daddy" even though he's not. I have loved Camille for 20 years, and our paths recently crossed again. When I first met her, she had only one child.

Camille says she loves me and wants us to be married, but I'm having a hard time accepting that all of these children's fathers will be part of our life -- as well as the "friend." Can a psychologist help me get past this? -- DEVOTED IN BLOOMINGTON, MINN.

DEAR DEVOTED: I don't know. But before you take this relationship further, you should definitely see one.

DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior who has been filling out applications for college. I have found a few small liberal arts colleges I'd love to attend, and I have a favorite.

My problem: My father has been out of work for quite some time. He has applied for a job at a large state college. I visited the school and don't like it because it's a huge party school. My mother has now informed me that if Dad gets the job, I'll have no choice but to go there because we would get a 70 percent discount in tuition.

I feel angry and guilty at the same time. The anger is because my parents had promised me that college would be my choice. The guilt is for not wanting my father to get this job, even though it would greatly help my family's financial situation. Dad has made the second round of the long interview process. What should I do? -- BOUND FOR COLLEGE

DEAR BOUND FOR COLLEGE: Your parents may have promised you your choice of colleges, but that was likely when your family's financial situation was much better. What you should do is, first, pray that your father gets the job he so desperately needs. Then go to the library and start exploring what financial aid or scholarships are available at the schools you'd prefer to attend.

Also, don't turn up your nose at the state college just yet. While it may have a reputation as a party school, that doesn't mean you have to participate in the festivities. If you're a serious student, you can still get an excellent education and your degree, if you're willing to keep your shoulder to the grindstone and work for it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my husband for 20 years. My problem is my children want me to make friends. My husband is my best friend. I don't feel the need to go on "girls' nights out" or anything else. I'm happy just to be with him.

I'm not anti-social, just content. Besides, I have seen what can happen to relationships when these kinds of outings go too far. I don't want to offend my kids because they have only my best interests at heart, but I'm tired of the pressure. How can I get my adult children to leave my personal life alone and stop trying to get me to make friends? -- HAPPY AT HOME

DEAR HAPPY: Your children may be urging you to make friends because they are aware that, statistically, women outlive their husbands. They don't want you to be completely isolated if something should happen to their father, or worse, completely dependent upon them for a social life. Frankly, I think they have a point. However, as an adult you can make your own decisions. And if yours is that you don't want to expand your circle (of two), just say it in plain English.

DEAR ABBY: From time to time you print helpful suggestions to readers in your column. Allow me to pass along a no-cost charitable contribution:

I got one of those "airline miles expiring" letters offering magazine subscriptions for the miles. Not wanting or needing any of the magazines that were listed, I had more than a dozen subscriptions sent to our local residential care facility. The residents were thrilled to receive them! -- DAVID M. IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR DAVID: What a thoughtful gesture. I'm sure my readers will appreciate your suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My son has refused to speak to me ever again because his girlfriend asked me if he had another child from a previous relationship. I didn't think it was right to lie to her, so I told her the truth about his daughter. My son called me yesterday and told me I was "dead to him" and he never wants to see me again. I feel so guilty having betrayed him.

I'm not sure how to make amends with my son. Abby, can you help me? -- SAD MOM IN OHIO

DEAR MOM: Your son may have preferred his girlfriend be kept in the dark about his daughter, but if the girlfriend didn't have some strong suspicions, she would not have raised the subject with you. Frankly, I admire you for telling the truth and not going along with your son's deception. I'm not sure how you should "make amends" with your son. He is the one who should be making amends with you. His lack of character is lamentable.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has been out of work for four months. Last week she applied for a job at a loan office. During the interview, she learned it was a payday loan operation, and she would be expected to get people to sign up for loans they could not afford.

This goes against our principles. We have seen family members caught in payday loan schemes that buried them in debt, and we find the whole industry to be immoral and abhorrent.

My wife is currently receiving unemployment compensation. One of the rules of unemployment is, if a company offers you work, you must accept it. She said if she knew what the position entailed, she would not have applied. Now she is terrified she may be offered a position in a business she finds repugnant, but she may not be able to decline the offer. What can she do? Please answer fast! -- STUCK FOR AN ANSWER IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR STUCK FOR AN ANSWER: Your wife should contact the payday loan company and tell them she is not interested in the position before she gets an offer. That way, she won't be breaking any rules, and the company can hire a willing applicant.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue regarding my 18-year-old son, "Jake." His father and I divorced several years ago -- amicably for the most part. Since then, and even before, Jake has had emotional problems.

My son makes up stories about himself. On one of his online social network sites he has been talking about a vehicle he doesn't own. He even invited a friend to go four-wheeling with him in his nonexistent vehicle. This is only one of many lies Jake has told. When I call him on it, he admits it but says it's "no big deal."

Abby, people believe what my son is telling them. What is going on, and what can I do? -- CARING PARENT, LITTLETON, COLO.

DEAR CARING PARENT: Your son may lie in order to impress others, or be so emotionally troubled that he can't tell the difference between what he fantasizes and what is real. I assume that because Jake has had emotional difficulties for some time that he has been under the care of a therapist. If so, contact the therapist and explain what's going on. If Jake doesn't have a therapist, find one. Perhaps an intervention will help Jake. If the lying persists, your son will become increasingly isolated as it gets out that no one can believe a word he says.

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