DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Feeling Guilty in North Carolina" (March 18), who feels guilty using address labels, calendars and notepads from organizations soliciting donations. Last year, for about six months, I collected all the requests for donations I received. Abby, the total was 532 requests from 119 organizations! Yes, I'm overwhelmed, and I no longer feel guilty about tossing them. I sent all of them letters requesting they delete my name from their lists. One hundred eighteen ignored my request. One asked how often I want information from them.

I give the notepads and other enclosures to Goodwill and shred the labels. Ironically, I receive more labels now than ever before, even though I pay most bills online and email rather than write. I donate less than I ever have in the past because I feel so hounded, so in my case, it has worked against them. -- KAREN H. IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR KAREN: Thanks for the input. Letters from readers complaining about charitable donation requests with labels arrive in my office on a daily basis, so you can imagine the mail I have received in response to the one I printed from "Feeling Guilty." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, receive many "gifts" from organizations soliciting for donations. My view is, if they're using my donation to send gifts, then they really don't need my money. They should be using donations to help whomever or whatever it is they're soliciting for. I don't feel guilty in the least for using the labels, gifts, etc. I give to organizations that do not send out freebies; that's how I direct my charitable donations. -- SABRINA W., SOUTHGATE, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a professional fundraiser and I, too, receive the pads and address labels. I do not give to every organization that sends them, but I do use what they send. No one should feel guilty for doing so. Nonprofits buy and rent lists from companies, and they don't expect everyone to respond. Nonprofits aren't trying to make anyone feel guilty or trick them; they just want to do the work of the causes you love to support. -- SUZANNE L., STATEN ISLAND, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Many solicitation letters have a small box at the bottom asking you to indicate if you would like to be taken off their mailing list. It's worth the 44 cents to return it.

Some areas recycle junk mail. After removing the address labels, the rest can be put in the recycling bin with newspapers. Note pads, greeting cards and calendar gifts could be donated to a military personnel drive, thrift store, nursing home or community center. -- MARY F., STUART, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: We contacted the post office and were instructed not to open the envelope, to write "Refused -- Return to Sender" on the front and put it back in the mailbox. The post office can then decide what to do with it. -- SANDRA M., MUKWONAGO, WIS.

DEAR ABBY: There's nothing "free" when organizations try to guilt us into sending money. My solution for all this junk is, use the labels and anything personalized if I like them; if not, destroy them. Anything else I give to a nursing home, local children's museum to use for crafts or to the Goodwill. When coins are attached, I put them in a jar and give them to my church. -- CLAIRE P., PORTLAND, MAINE

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother and stepfather, "Rick," are being divorced after 12 years of marriage. Mom had an affair, and I understand that Rick is angry, but he is being vindictive. My sisters and I have tried hard to maintain a relationship with him, but he doesn't understand this is his divorce. It shouldn't involve us or the rest of the family, but Rick has involved everyone.

He says we have to choose sides, and if we're on his side, we must cut off contact with our mother. When we said we weren't about to take sides, he got angry. He has told his side of the family that we're horrible people, and they're not allowed to have contact with us any longer.

Abby, these are people we have known for 12 years. They want a relationship with us and we with them, but after the terrible things Rick has said about us, we don't know if we can face them. Please tell us what to do. Any advice would be helpful. -- NEEDS AN OPINION IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS AN OPINION: Your almost-former stepfather is upset. He wants to punish your mother. For him to demand you "divorce" her in order to maintain a relationship with him is childish and unrealistic. The only person he's really isolating is himself, which is sad.

Rick's family has had 12 years to get to know you and your sisters. I'm sure they recognize that he is being irrational. Please don't allow yourselves to be intimidated by whatever he might have said about you. Talk to them. Burn no bridges. The divorce will end and life will go on. If the relationship you have had with these people was built on a solid foundation, it will endure.

DEAR ABBY: I am an average-looking, middle-aged woman. I have many friends and a career I love. What I do not have is a partner. It breaks my heart. I feel excluded from an important part of life -- romantic love.

I have had relationships with men. All of them were disasters. At the age I am now, there seems to be little or no hope of finding anyone.

Most of my friends are married or in committed relationships, and I feel like an outsider. I am involved in my church and my career, and to all outward appearances, I look happy and successful.

But, Abby, inside I am terrified that I'll be alone forever. Sometimes I wonder how I will survive this life. How do I cope with my sadness and my fear of being alone forever? I hope for some good advice. -- SINGLE IN DIXIE

DEAR SINGLE: There are worse things than being alone. Chief among them is being stuck in a relationship (formal or otherwise) with someone who isn't right for you. If you are spending most of your time with couples, perhaps you should arrange to spend more time with other singles. Expand your circle. Travel, if you can afford it. It will make you a less depressed, more interesting person to be around.

If you need help for your depression, talk to a therapist. But never tell yourself you will never meet someone. It's self-defeating. People of every age meet and fall in love every day, and they are being married at later ages, too.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a nice, charming, likable young man in my mid-20s. I have almost no friends. I rarely see the ones I do have because they don't live in my province. I can count the number of people I consider friends on one hand. I am close with my family, though none of them live close enough to see regularly. I work from home, so there's no one I come in contact with daily except my husband, whom I love dearly.

I know there are things I could do to meet more people and make friends, but I don't really want to. Maintaining friendships feels like more work than it's worth to me. I don't dislike people and I'm certainly not a snob. But when I have a conversation, it feels like I'm trying to be interesting for their sake and I don't really care about them, and I wonder why they seem to care about me.

I'm not bitter or lonely, but I don't think this is normal. Should I accept that this is who I am, or should I worry? -- LONER IN TORONTO

DEAR LONER: Excuse me, but there are contradictions in your letter. If you weren't concerned that there was something to worry about, you wouldn't have written to me. Now it's time for you to talk to a counselor and take a deeper look at what's really going on. My intuition tells me there may be issues you need to address.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a long-term relationship with a man who died recently. After his death I found out he had other girlfriends while he was with me. It turns out he was a con man who used women. I am stunned, sad, hurt, angry and feel like a fool.

When people who knew us as a couple see me, they ask about him. When I say he died, they respond by offering condolences over "my loss." Should I thank them for their kindness and leave it at that, or should I tell them the truth about him so they won't waste time feeling bad about his demise? -- TRICKED IN RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR TRICKED: If it will make you feel better to vent, do it. However, if rehashing the unhappy details would make you feel worse, keep them to yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dealing with an anxiety disorder I thought I had beaten. I hadn't had an attack in years, until I found myself having one recently at the gym. I ran to the dressing room in tears to battle it out, and was practicing breathing deeply when I spotted something shiny in the far corner of the room. I immediately flashed on the "pennies from heaven" letters I have read in your column and, still crying, went to see what it was. As soon as I saw it was a penny, I felt calmer.

Abby, I haven't lost anyone close who might have sent me a penny, but when I picked it up it had the year of my birth on it. I understood then it was intended for me, and my anxiety dissipated.

I'm confused, though. Is this something our guardian angels share amongst themselves, or did an unknown angel take pity on me? -- JENNIFER IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR JENNIFER: The subject of guardian angels is a spiritual one -- and very personal. I believe that some of us have guardian angels right here on Earth watching over us as well as those from above. And if one of them had a spare moment, it wouldn't be atypical to help out someone in a (penny) pinch.

TO MY CHRISTIAN FRIENDS: Happy Easter, everyone!