DEAR ABBY: "Keeping It Real in Laguna Beach, Calif." (May 27), who is embarrassed by the dialects of his Southern relatives, should learn some Southern hospitality! Yes, we may say "Ma and Pa," "y'all," "yonder" and "I reckon," but we would not laugh or be embarrassed if a California relative came to visit. We'd be overjoyed and welcoming.

"K.I.R.," get off your high horse and get over yourself! If you visited, we'd show you around town, take you to see friends and relatives, and smother you with affection. We'd have big family gatherings, sit on the front porch and drink lemonade. We would never ridicule your different accent.

Come spend some time with us "hicks." We welcome everyone and are glad to have you. We'll serve you white gravy and homemade buttermilk biscuits, pecan pie and sweet tea. And when you leave, we'll give you a big, air-constricting hug and some "sugar" (Southern slang for kisses) and say, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" -- GEORGIA GIRL

DEAR GEORGIA GIRL: To heck with "K.I.R." -- invite me! You'll be pleased to know your fellow Southerners came out in force against "K.I.R.'s" uppity attitude. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Keeping It Real" is living in a fantasy world -- a sad one at that. Our country is made up of all kinds of people. How can he not see the charm in a simple, down-home accent? Using different regional phrases or expressions doesn't make a person stupid or uneducated -- a fact "K.I.R." might understand if he were more educated himself.

I adore my Southern heritage. I love being able to tell the difference between the drawl of someone from the Carolinas versus the Cajun tones of folks from Louisiana. There's richness to those voices. You can almost hear the history by listening to someone speak. I'd much rather hear about "Ma and Pa" than be repeatedly subjected to words like "dude" or "gnarly." All I can say to "K.I.R." is -- bless your heart! -- PROUD BELLE IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABBY: Why would "K.I.R." assume that because his Southern family doesn't live in an "uneducated" area, their accents are "fake"? His generalizations show how little he knows about the rich and varied Southern culture. He should read Tennessee Williams, Eudora Welty or Truman Capote, or watch a documentary about the South. In other words, educate himself to keep from coming off as embarrassingly shallow in front of his relatives. -- SOUTHERN YANKEE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: The late Lewis Grizzard, an accomplished writer and comedian from Georgia, talked about the differences between Northerners and Southerners in his comedy show. My favorite line about our twang was, "God talks like we do." -- KARLYLE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I had lunch with the CEO of a major corporation. He is Harvard-educated with a doctorate from Berkeley. When he ordered "smashed taters with gravy" no one thought he was a hick. -- SMILING IN SEATTLE

DEAR ABBY: I'm appalled by "K.I.R.'s" pretentious attitude. Anyone spending this much time worrying about the use of "Ma and Pa" clearly has too much time on his hands. He should spend it more constructively, examining why he's so concerned with appearances. -- DAWN IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: I'm guessing the country folk are having fun with him. I have a master's degree in English and can quote Milton and Yeats. But around snobs like this, I'd go all "Jed Clampett" so fast he'd think he's been slogwalloped by a she-critter without no young-uns. -- BRIAN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: That fool can kiss my grits! -- KAYE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: I loaned money to a couple of family members when I was overseas. They had fallen behind on their bills, so I sent them each $1,000 to get caught up.

It's two years later, and I have yet to see a dime from either one of them. I have sent them both letters asking to have "some" money paid back; both sent me excuses about why they can't pay anything. However, on Facebook they write about how they went shopping, joined a gym and so on. I feel I have been taken advantage of. What can I do to get this settled? -- TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF: Try this ... post on your Facebook page: "It's funny what short memories some people have. I loaned 'Tom' and 'Geri' $1,000 two years ago when they fell behind on some bills. Instead of repayment, I have received nothing but excuses -- and all the while I see their postings about shopping at the mall and going to the gym. What DEADBEATS!"

Maybe it will shame your relatives into paying up. (Or not, because some people have no shame.)

DEAR ABBY: Do I have to stop wearing my wedding ring? My husband died three years ago. We had been married 53 years and 12 days. Abby, I pledged "until death do us part." I just can't seem to make myself take off the ring he put on my finger so many years ago.

I'm tired of being told that I "have" to give up something so precious to me. Is there a time limit, or is it OK for me to go ahead with wearing the ring and ignore the people who pester me about taking it off? Maybe a time will come when I'll want to, but not now, not yet. Please give me some sound advice. -- ARIZONA WIDOW

DEAR WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. Widows and widowers usually remove their wedding ring at the point when they decide they would like to begin dating again. When they do, some of them choose to move the ring from their left to the right hand. Others put it away as a treasured keepsake.

There is no set time at which your wedding ring "must" come off. If and when you feel the time is right, it will happen -- or not. This is a personal decision that no one can or should make for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 years old, and I'm afraid to kiss! I won't date anyone because I'm afraid my kiss will suffer by comparison. I know no one becomes an expert without practice, but I don't want anyone to be my first kiss.

Several guys are into me, but I can't date them because eventually they'll want to kiss. It would be so embarrassing to be horrible at it. Any advice? -- TOO FREAKED OUT TO MAKE OUT

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Kissing isn't a competitive sport, so stop worrying that you won't measure up. A kiss doesn't have to be the way it's portrayed in the movies, with heavy breathing and mouths agape. Whether a guy wants to kiss you isn't as important as whether you want him to kiss you. If you do, all you have to do is close your eyes, tilt your head a bit to the side and lean in. He will take care of the rest.

I remember my first "real" kiss. I was 12, and my parents had decided to move from Wisconsin to California. I had a crush on a 16-year-old usher at the local movie theater. (He looked so handsome in his uniform!) Two weeks before we were scheduled to leave, I summoned the courage to approach him after a show, told him I was leaving, and asked if he'd give me my first real kiss. Once he got over his visible surprise, he did. It was sweet, gentle, chaste, and I've never forgotten it.

DEAR ABBY: I dislike the prevalence of plastic surgery and Botox in today's society. It sends young people a bad message on body image.

My friend "Liz's" stepmother loudly discussed her own daughter's nose job, chin implant and "boob job" with Liz's teenage daughter while at dinner in a public restaurant where everyone could hear.

My sister "Beth" told her son and daughter she'd gladly pay for new noses for them. They were offended because they are happy with their looks. (At least, they were until their mother denigrated them.)

Both of my sisters have had plastic surgery. They can afford it and that's their business. But they make it our business by publicly congratulating each other on how well they have "aged."

What do you think about this, Abby? Am I right? -- NATURAL WOMAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NATURAL WOMAN: Plastic surgery has been a blessing to many people because it has lifted not only drooping flesh but sagging self-esteem. I see nothing wrong with someone getting a nose job if it will help the person feel more confident. Your sister's offer to pay for her children's rhinoplasty may have had more to do with her own insecurity than either of her children's.

Cosmetic surgery and Botox are facts of life in our society for those who can afford it. Botox is common for both men and women who want to lessen or avoid signs of aging. I think what's upsetting you is your sisters' dishonesty. When they publicly congratulate each other on how well they have aged, they're not only lying to whoever overhears them -- they're also lying to themselves.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and granddaughter are going to be in a wedding scheduled for the summer of 2012. The bride seems to have watched too many wedding shows on TV, because she keeps scheduling bridesmaids luncheons and has required her attendants to go to many bridal expos with her -- even though the vendors have all been booked. The shop where the bridesmaids are buying their dresses is very expensive.

I understand the bride wants it to be a special day, but it's more than a year away and my daughter is a stay-at-home mother of two. She doesn't have the time or money to continue participating in these events. She asked me if she should back out now or level with the bride that some of her requests are a little over the top.

My daughter wants to support her friend, and doesn't want her to think she's trying to run the show by suggesting alternate places to look for less expensive dresses, since she'll have to purchase two. What do I tell her? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDESMAID

DEAR MOTHER: Friends should be able to level with each other -- otherwise they aren't friends, they are acquaintances. If the bride's schedule of events is more than your daughter can handle, she needs to speak up. If the dresses will cause financial hardship, the bride needs to know so she can either scale back the cost or find replacements for whomever is supposed to wear them. If this is not agreeable for the bride, your daughter can "support" her friend with the rest of the wedding guests. She does not have to be a member of the wedding party to do that.