DEAR ABBY: My son's girlfriend is pregnant. I think there is a chance it may not be his, although she claims it is. "Ben" met "Christy," and a little over a week later she announced she was pregnant. She's now 34 weeks into the pregnancy.

I have asked him repeatedly if he is sure the baby is his and he says yes, but the math doesn't seem right to me. I have suggested Ben seek a paternity test, but I don't think he's going to take my advice.

I am not the only person who is questioning this, and I feel terrible for having the doubt. He has asked Christy to marry him and she accepted. I couldn't believe it. They were going to marry that same month, but when Ben mentioned a prenuptial agreement to protect the real estate and other property he owns (and that I'm financially involved in), Christy blew up! She just about kicked Ben to the curb. Now, thankfully, the wedding is postponed. Christy's overboard reaction has added to my suspicion. What do you think, Abby? -- SUSPICIOUS DAD IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR DAD: I agree that before your son marries Christy, everything should be out in the open. Regardless of whose child she is carrying, your son may be in love with her and it may not matter to him. If the child is indeed his, a paternity test would lay any doubts to rest.

That said, I spoke with my gynecologist and asked how long after conception it would take for a pregnancy to show up in a test, and was told the answer is one week after a woman's period is late. For Ben not to insist on having a prenuptial agreement under these circumstances would be a mistake, and I hope he will reconsider.

DEAR ABBY: My mother died suddenly three years ago and my sister overdosed a year later. I didn't know she was so depressed.

Her son, "Jordan," is the joy of my life. Every time I watch him, all I can think of is "Why?" Why did my sister choose to leave us alone? I don't know how to move on when I look at Jordan and think of my sister. Please help. -- LEFT WITH THE MEMORIES

DEAR LEFT: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the multiple losses you have suffered. Although you feel left alone by your sister's suicide, the truth is you are not alone. In the United States, millions of people's lives have been touched by suicide -- whether it was that of a colleague, friend or a family member. That you are reminded of your sister when you see your nephew is a normal reaction.

When your sister overdosed, she may have been acting on impulse and trying to end what she perceived to be intolerable psychic pain. Please contact the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Among the many programs it offers is a listing of local support groups for survivors. The website is www.afsp.org; the phone number is (888) 333-2377.

Author Eric Marcus has written an excellent book on this subject, "Why Suicide?" published by Harper One. He, like you, is a survivor of suicide, and you may find the answers you're looking for by reading it.

DEAR ABBY: My nephew, "Charles," a minister in his 50s, confided to me that he is unhappy in his marriage and is attracted to someone else. He asked me to keep this confidential, and I have.

Charles' wife and I are together a few hours per week on a regular basis. She is concerned because he seems depressed and spends most of his time at home sleeping. She knows Charles considers me a mother figure now that both his parents are deceased. She is suggesting that perhaps he has shared with me some of the reasons for his depression.

I feel horrible. If this comes out -- and it will -- Charles' wife will feel betrayed on many levels. I don't know what to do. Can you help? -- IN TOO DEEP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR IN TOO DEEP: Your nephew's wife is on a fishing expedition. That's why she's "suggesting" he might have shared confidences with you. Do not betray them. Instead, tell her that if she's concerned about her husband's state of mind, the person she should be asking is HIM. It's the truth. They have a lot that needs talking about.

DEAR ABBY: Before my husband's 30th birthday, I worked hard planning a surprise party for him. Family members came from other states, and I had housing available for all of them. I hid the food and other supplies at friends' homes. Things went well, and my husband was thrilled to see his family and friends.

My milestone birthday was last year, and my husband didn't do anything special. I didn't mind because I had told him I was "done aging." However, I accidentally discovered he's planning something this year.

While on vacation at my in-laws', I saw his mother had reserved the date of the party on her calendar. When I visited his sister, the invitation was open on the dining room table. I was able to see all the details of my "surprise." When I went to our mailbox, I found two invitations to my party that were undeliverable. I pretended I'd forgotten to pick up the mail and asked him to get it.

Should I tell my husband I know about the party or continue to play "dumb"? I have been told in so many ways that it's getting harder not to say anything, but I don't want to ruin this for him, either. I feel guilty for knowing. What should I do? -- NOT SO SURPRISED

DEAR NOT SO SURPRISED: Stop feeling guilty -- you did nothing wrong. Keep your mouth shut and act surprised. Your husband is going to a lot of trouble to give you a special gift, and you should accept it in the spirit in which it is being given.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 31-year-old woman who was taught growing up that if a person older than I doesn't have a seat, to give mine up. I now have a few questions about this practice.

If someone refuses the seat I offer, what do I do? How long should I remain standing, waiting for him or her to sit down? I have experienced this issue with the baby-boomer generation -- people in their 50s and 60s who refuse to take the seat. I feel like an idiot standing with them while a seat is available. Any help you can offer would be great. -- MINDING MY MANNERS IN NEW YORK

DEAR MINDING YOUR MANNERS: (And beautiful manners they are.) You are dealing with the generation who coined the phrase "Don't trust anyone over 30." Most boomers, some of whom are now turning 65, do not consider themselves to be "older." Don't let it be lost on you that there's a very successful store called Forever 21 that doesn't cater just to teenagers. If one of the eternally young refuses your generous offer, the appropriate thing to do is sit back down. No harm, no foul.

DEAR ABBY: After years of abuse at the hands of my mother's boyfriend, I finally sought therapy to deal with the emotional issues. I spent weeks interviewing licensed therapists and finally picked one I felt comfortable with.

After several sessions, I finally revealed the true nature of my issues. Her response? "At least you weren't raped!" I was so horrified by her reaction that I got up and walked out.

It had taken me 20 years to finally work up the courage to speak to someone about my problems. Now I feel completely defeated -- even exploited -- all over again. I know not all therapists are as inept as this woman was, but I'm really afraid of the whole process. What do you do when therapy is the one thing you need, but also the one thing you are petrified of? -- NEEDS THERAPY FOR THERAPY

DEAR NEEDS THERAPY: Because someone has a license to practice does not guarantee that the person is actually good at it. I'm sorry you learned that the hard way. But please do not let one bad experience keep you from getting the help you know you need.

When therapy is the one thing you need, but also the one thing you are most afraid of, you should do what smart people who have felt as you have done. Go anyway. This woman wasn't equipped to help you. Be glad that you realized it quickly. You did the right thing by leaving.

DEAR ABBY: I am the proud father of a wonderful 7-year-old boy, "Aiden." His mother, "Emily," and I share custody and have an amicable relationship. I also happen to be gay.

Most of our friends and family are aware of our situation and are kind to all of us. However, Emily's cousin "Lyn" has children Aiden's age who are starting to make anti-gay comments to him -- including teasing and name-calling.

I have spoken to Lyn about this in a gentle and patient manner, but she told me the comments are reflections of her religious beliefs. Have you any advice as to what I can do to stop Aiden from being subjected to this kind of behavior, short of refusing to let him visit them anymore? -- BOTHERED IN BUFFALO

DEAR BOTHERED: I don't know what religion Emily's cousin practices, but I can't think of any that encourages teasing and name-calling among children. Although Aiden is young, he is old enough to understand that some people can be hostile and intolerant of those who are different than they are. Explain that Lyn and her children are "those" kind of people, and it has nothing to do with him personally.

By the way, although you're reluctant to refuse to let your son visit that branch of the family, expose him to them as little as possible, if at all. His mother can visit Cousin Lyn when Aiden is with his daddy.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper protocol regarding jewelry that was given by a former boyfriend? I have a few lovely items, but I no longer feel comfortable wearing them. I'm at a loss and hate to leave them sitting in my jewelry box forever. -- DE-JEWELED IN OHIO

DEAR DE-JEWELED: There is no "protocol" regarding gifts from former boyfriends. If you are uncomfortable wearing the items because they bring back sad memories, consider selling them or, if they contain valuable gems, having the stones reset. However, if you can adjust your attitude and consider them "souvenirs," then wear and enjoy them.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)