DEAR ABBY: My sister "Dena" has a lot of health issues. She weighs more than 300 pounds, has bad knees, ankles and legs, liver trouble and bad nerves. I love her dearly. She's not only my sister, but my best friend. I feel sorry for her, but I can't take her constant complaining every single day.

Sure, everyone has bad days, but Dena complains to anyone who will listen -- friends, family, everybody. She never asks how anyone else is doing. I beg her to make a doctor's appointment. Most times, she doesn't go and keeps complaining.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but this has taken a toll on me. Abby, I have my own aches and pains to manage. How can I tell my sister -- in an endearing way -- to stop all her moaning and groaning? -- REACHED MY LIMIT IN HOUSTON

DEAR REACHED YOUR LIMIT: Your sister may complain about her aches and pains because she has nothing else to think about. She is limited in her activities so her world has shrunk to nothing beyond herself. How sad for her.

The next time she raises the subject, tell her the person who should be hearing her symptoms is her doctor because there's nothing you can do about them. And follow up with, "Now, Honey, tell me something positive. We all have things to be thankful for."

DEAR ABBY: We have close friends who are like family. They have one child -- a son, "Justin," who is in the Boy Scouts. He has wanted to quit for two years but his parents won't let him. They have been doing his work on the badges all along. His dad is the scout leader. They volunteer us all the time on different projects, but we're tired of it and have tried in a nice way to let them know.

What bothers me most is that Justin sits around playing video games while we're stuck doing his work. Now, his parents have him going for his Eagle Scout project -- a large one requiring quite a bit of work -- and they have volunteered us again. My husband already works hard. It isn't fair that he does all the work and Justin gets the credit. Without destroying this friendship, what do you suggest, Abby? -- FED UP DOWN SOUTH

DEAR FED UP: If your friendship with this couple is based on being at their beck and call and doing their son's projects for him, then you're paying a high price for it. Justin should be earning his own merit badges, and your husband should be telling the scoutmaster that he has projects of his own that take precedence. It doesn't have to be said harshly, just firmly. If your husband can't muster the courage, then face it -- you'll both be in the Boy Scouts until Justin has "flown" as an Eagle.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old female. I'm working on a degree, have a job, but have never had a serious boyfriend. I don't have a problem socializing with men, but I'm interested in them only until they ask me out. I'll go on a date or two, then I'll be done with them. It doesn't matter if they're sweethearts or bad boys. It seems I like only what I can't have.

Is there something wrong with me, or will it be different when I meet "the one"? -- ALWAYS SINGLE IN OHIO

DEAR ALWAYS SINGLE: It appears you like the chase more than the reward. While it may be different when you meet "the one," recognize that you have established a pattern. There is more to a relationship with a man than getting his attention. You also have to NURTURE it.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law was diagnosed with dementia more than a year ago. She lives alone and can no longer do anything for herself. She can no longer climb stairs, which means she can't get to her bed, shower or do laundry, and it takes her hours to dress herself. She also needs help getting and remembering to take her medications.

Because Mom can't drive, she can't get to the store, the bank or anywhere else unless one of her kids takes her. She does nothing all day but watch TV and eat sweets.

When do her kids stop treating her like a toddler and start treating her with dignity? She clearly needs assistance, whether it's a couple of days a week of companionship or an assisted-living center. She doesn't want to go, but when is it time to do what's best for her and stop listening to what she says she wants? Her kids are afraid to make her mad, so this poor woman is withering away in her two-story home -- lonely, smelly, sad and depressed.

I would move her into our home if we had a place for her, but we don't. What can be done for an elderly person who obviously can't take care of herself, but "fakes" it so her kids won't put her "in a home"? -- HEARTBROKEN DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Please accept my sympathy. Your letter is timely, because September marks the inauguration of World Alzheimer's Month.

Accepting the realities of dementia or Alzheimer's disease can be difficult for families, especially when the person with the disease has lost the ability to safely live alone or make sound decisions.

When this happens, families must take steps to ensure that their loved one is safe and healthy. This may involve bringing care into the home or exploring other living options. Fortunately, most communities offer resources that can help, including home-delivered meal programs, in-home care, assisted-living and residential memory care.

Because you are rightfully concerned about your mother-in-law's well-being, call a family meeting and discuss care options. The Alzheimer's Association has a consultation program that helps families navigate through these complex situations. It offers emotional support, needs assessment and information about local resources. To speak with a care consultant, call the Alzheimer's Association's toll-free, 24/7 helpline at 800-272-3900.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my love for more than five years. Our lives have not been easy, but whose has? God decided to bless us with a little one while we were still too young, but we work hard to provide the best for our blessing.

Somewhere down the road the romance disappeared. I often wonder if he despises me for getting pregnant or for keeping our son. My love had big plans and still does, but he seems miserable. I know I can't force him to make the effort to change his own life and pursue his dreams.

I miss my friend, the person who wanted to be near me, hold my hand and hold me tight. Despite all my attempts to talk, nothing changes. Is it over? -- ROMANTICIZING ROMANCE IN DALLAS

DEAR R.R.: As the saying goes, "It isn't over 'til it's over." The man you love may be unhappy that his life took an unexpected turn, but he's still with you and that says a lot. Because he won't talk out his feelings with you and appears to have withdrawn, remind him that you love him, want him to be happy and encoutrage him to talk to a licensed therapist to help him get his future back on track. It will be money and time well spent.

DEAR ABBY: My brother "Dan" cheated on his wife, "Darlene." His affair lasted five years before he dumped Darlene to pursue a relationship with the other woman. My problem is, every time family members invite Darlene and her children to be part of an event, we have to listen to her long, drawn-out monologue about Dan's affair with "that woman."

I don't approve of Dan's behavior, but I refuse to hate him because their marriage failed. It was on the downslide for a long time before the affair began. Darlene has spent the last four years making sure her kids never see my brother's new wife or meet their half-siblings. She talks openly in front of them about how "evil" their father and "that woman" are, then invites Dan on family trips, which I'd find confusing if I were in their shoes.

I don't want to cut my nieces and nephews out of my life, because they need stability. But I don't care at this point if I ever see Darlene again. Any suggestions? I'm at my wit's end. -- TIRED OF THE SOB STORY

DEAR TIRED: The reason the No. 1 songs on the charts keep changing is listeners finally grow bored and stop buying them. The same is true for the "he done me wrong" chorus your former sister-in-law keeps repeating. While I understand her pain and anger, it's a shame Darlene hasn't accepted that she needs to get on with her life. A step in that direction would be to quit wallowing in the past.

Because you can't control her, when she starts her next refrain, excuse yourself. Let her entertain the rest of the family while you spend quality time with your nieces and nephews, and you'll all have a better time.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married several years to an only child. Despite our objections, my mother-in-law, "Diana," continues to treat my husband, "Rob," as though he's helpless and me as his equally incapable sidekick.

I should have realized there was trouble when Diana and other in-laws came to visit us on our honeymoon -- unannounced and uninvited. When we go to a buffet restaurant, she prepares plates for him. She tells him what clothes to wear to events and even irons them for him. She includes our names on cards, gifts, flowers, etc., for which we've had no input or financial contribution. Anytime we mention going out of town, she attempts to invite her husband and herself to tag along.

Rob and I are responsible adults who work full time. We have never asked his parents for anything. I find her behavior insulting and intrusive. Even if I wanted to wait on my husband hand and foot, I'd have to beat my mother-in-law to it.

I have done everything I can think of to remedy this, from having Rob speak to her to being frank with her myself. Aside from saying hello when I answer the phone, I choose to have no relationship with her. Am I being overly sensitive, or is Diana overstepping her boundaries? -- MARRIED TO AN ONLY CHILD IN KENTUCKY

DEAR MARRIED TO AN ONLY CHILD: If your description of your mother-in-law is accurate, she's the living definition of a mother who can't let go. Because you and Rob have spoken frankly to her about this and her behavior persists, she strikes me as overbearing.

By now it should be clear that Diana isn't going to change. Your best recourse may be to put geographic distance between you if and when it's feasible.