DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dan," and I are in our early 30s and have been married five years. He's bright, sweet, outgoing and very good-looking. He is in excellent shape and works out at the gym daily.

Dan has become friendly with a group of men at the gym. Like him, they are all good-looking and in tip-top shape. They are also gay. One guy in particular, "Harry," has become quite close to my husband. He often jokes about "recruiting" Dan and comments on Dan's popularity with "the boys."

My work requires that I travel frequently, and Dan has been going out with Harry to gay bars where he gets "hit on" often. I can tell he likes the attention. I should also mention that Dan seems to be considerably less interested in sex lately.

I hate to think of my husband alone and lonely while I'm away, but his going to gay bars every night is beginning to worry me. If I say anything to him about it, he guilt-trips me about my travel.

Is it normal for a straight man to seek out the company of gay men? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- GAY-FRIENDLY IN N.Y.C.

DEAR GAY-FRIENDLY: It is unusual for a straight man to frequent gay bars. But would you feel better if Dan was going to straight bars every night and being hit on by women while you're away?

Your greater concern, in my opinion, should be his change in pattern of behavior. If Dan is less interested in sex with you than he has been, then you need to find out why. I have always favored the direct approach. The person you should be discussing this with is your husband. When you do, be frank but not accusatory, and do not allow him to divert the conversation by making you feel guilty about your business travel.

DEAR ABBY: I'm moving soon from Florida to New York. I have a 16-year-old Chihuahua named Pedro who is not in good health. I'm torn about what to do. Should I take him with me, or have him put to sleep? I am an animal lover and have always had pets, but this is the first time I have ever had this problem.

I'm renting a truck and will be driving up to New York. Some say the stress will be too much for Pedro. He's a little fighter, but at his age, I don't know how he will handle cold weather. He has lived in Florida his whole life. What do you think? I'm asking everyone's opinion. -- LEAVING THE SUNSHINE STATE

DEAR LEAVING: You say Pedro is a fighter -- well, give him a fighting chance. He could surprise you and make it through next winter and several after that. However, although you are asking "everyone's" opinion, the one that should carry the most weight is Pedro's veterinarian.

DEAR ABBY: My family has been having a debate over the issue of how the name "Jeanne" is pronounced. They think it is pronounced "Jean-nee," while I am certain it's pronounced the same as "Jean." Could you please help us with the correct pronunciation? -- A DOVER, N.H., READER

DEAR READER: The name "Jeanne" can be pronounced either way, depending upon the Jeanne's preference. In my case, it has always been pronounced "Jean-nee."

However, if the name-caller is French, it might be pronounced "J'ahne," with a very soft "J" -- like Zsa-Zsa.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: A happy Passover, everyone!

DEAR ABBY: "Robert" and I met four years ago and fell head-over-heels in love. At the time, he was two years clean and sober and attending meetings. Due to his hectic work schedule, he stopped attending the meetings.

Robert is intelligent, a hard worker, handsome and my best friend. He prided himself on his sobriety, so imagine my shock when I found an empty liquor bottle buried in the trash and three more under the bed. I never thought I'd see the day when he would relapse, but he has. I am devastated. I didn't know what to say to him or how to react, because I have never been down this road.

I told Robert I knew he was drinking again. I could barely hold back my tears because I knew what a huge personal setback this is for him. He said he didn't want to discuss it, so I didn't push.

What am I supposed to do when the man I love has relapsed? My heart aches for him. I'm trying to be supportive, but I am clueless. Please help. -- HELPLESS

DEAR HELPLESS: The first thing to do is recognize that this is Robert's problem, and only he can fix it. If you plan to stay involved with him, understand that it is not unusual for someone with a substance abuse problem to fall off the wagon from time to time.

The next thing you should do, and this is important, is find your nearest chapter of Al-Anon. It's an organization that was started by the wife of an alcoholic, and its sole purpose is to help the family and friends of alcoholics. The toll-free phone number is 888-425-2666, and it has been mentioned in this column many times.

There will be meetings for you to attend so you can learn to avoid falling into the trap of trying to "save" or enable Robert, because in order for him to get better he must experience the consequences of going back to drinking. This is not easy to do with someone you care about, and you will need all of the support you can get.

By the way, your letter arrived in the same batch as the one below. It may give you some insight:

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I talked to my mother about her drinking. She's a binge drinker and her excuse is always, "It's my day off." I am focusing on myself and trying to figure out my life, as well, with the help of Al-Anon -- the only thing that has kept me positive.

I knew that once I uttered the word "alcoholic" aloud, my relationship with my mother would forever be affected. I asked her to contact me when she was ready to quit because I can no longer enable her drinking.

I miss the mom who doesn't drink, but I can't be around her when she does. As I grow in my recovery, I may figure out how to do that. But for now, I need to put space between us.

My family is worried something drastic will happen (as her health isn't good) and I will have regrets. But I have expressed my thoughts and accepted that Mom and I may never speak again. Is that wrong? -- STILL A LOVING DAUGHTER IN WISCONSIN

DEAR STILL A LOVING DAUGHTER: No, it's not wrong. Your mother's binge drinking was affecting her health as well as her relationship with you, and while it may have been difficult and wrenching, it was the right thing to do -- for both of you. Let's hope that your strength in doing that will give her the strength to stop her alcohol binges.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, I had a best friend, "Ben." We talked all the time, shared secrets and always hung out together. I never regarded him as someone I'd like to date, so I never took his attention very seriously.

That summer, he texted me and asked me to send him a picture of my breasts. When I said no, he became pushy. I told him I didn't know what he was going to do with the picture, and I didn't want to get in trouble. He was upset that I didn't "trust" him. I tried to explain that I couldn't assume he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. We didn't talk the rest of the summer.

The following year we had a chemistry class together, and Ben acted like he didn't know me. He deleted my phone number and dropped me as a friend on Facebook. Now, in our final year of high school, he's in another class with me. He still won't acknowledge me and is always flirting with my best friend.

I have cried so much over Ben. I miss him a lot. I don't understand why he's treating me this way. What did I do that was so awful? Is something wrong with me? -- BEWILDERED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BEWILDERED: You did nothing wrong. You considered Ben to be a friend, and I assume that you aren't in the habit of showing your male friends your breasts. It seems only logical that you wouldn't send a picture that could wind up heaven knows where.

Ben is acting this way because he is trying to punish you for not giving him what he wanted. He's flirting with your friend to hurt you and/or make you jealous. These are not the actions of a friend, and the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be. Ben strikes me as immature and a user, so be glad you didn't do what he wanted. It was good common sense.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding money and adult children, should a parent help all children equally if they are financially able to? Or should a parent offer help only to the children in need (medical expenses, kid in college, new washing machine, etc.)? If one child has a high-paying job, does he/she deserve any less from a parent in the end? -- WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: Before deciding how to divide your assets, first discuss this with an attorney who specializes in wills, trusts and estate planning. From my perspective, if you leave an equal amount to each of your heirs, it will prevent hurt feelings and resentment among them after you are gone. Monies given before your death to one of your children should be tallied and deducted from the amount he or she is allotted in your will -- with an explanation of the reason why it is less.

DEAR ABBY: I am torn between two important people in my life. My best friend and my husband graduate this year on the same day, one at 9 a.m., the other at 10 a.m., at two different colleges an hour and a half apart.

My friend says that because I was able to attend my husband's associate and bachelor degree graduations, I should attend her ceremony because I have never seen her graduate. However, I feel my husband's having earned his master's degree is a huge accomplishment, and that I should attend his graduation. What do you think, Abby? -- UNDECIDED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR UNDECIDED: I think you should follow your instincts, because they are exactly right. During your lifetime you will have many friends, but let's hope only one husband.