DEAR ABBY: Shortly after my wife and I were married, my wife got pregnant. Due to complications with the pregnancy, the baby had to be delivered early through a C-section. Our baby didn't make it. That was four years ago.

After unsuccessfully trying to conceive for almost a year now, my wife decided she wanted to find out why. We learned that there is a problem that was most likely caused by the C-section. Although we are still trying to see what can be done, there is a good chance that things won't be as easy as we expected regarding a pregnancy.

I'm personally in no hurry, but my wife is suffering a great deal as a result of this. I'm trying to ease things for her, telling her that this is not her fault and that we're in this together, and trying to reassure her that she is more important to me than kids.

However, she keeps saying that I'm just saying it, and with time I will change my mind and start to think about having kids. She says this is a basic instinct and it will eventually show up. My question is: Is life without kids unbearable to an extent that we might reach a point we won't be able to continue together? -- CONFUSED HUSBAND IN JORDAN

DEAR CONFUSED HUSBAND: There are many happily childless couples. But before you and your wife reconcile to being one of them, consult an ob/gyn who specializes in infertility. Thanks to advances in medical science, there is more than one way to become parents. If your wife isn't able to carry a pregnancy to term because of her surgery, you may be able to hire a surrogate to do it. The baby would result from your sperm and your wife's egg and be your biological child.

It's possible that your wife is depressed and could benefit from talking with a mental health professional. I hope you both will start doing some research to find out what options are available to you -- including adoption -- if you wish to become parents.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married English lady who came to the United States in 1985. I have a good career working for the same company for more than 20 years. My husband and I have no children. We enjoy travel and twice a year visit my aging parents in England.

My problem is that my guilt for not being there for my parents is growing stronger by the day. I'm an only child and feel that although they are both in relatively good health, they really need me. To move there would be financially impossible for us. Every year for the past 10 years we have spent a total of four weeks with them in England. I call them every three days on the phone, and yet the guilt continues to build.

Is what I'm doing acceptable, or am I a bad daughter for choosing to live my life so far away from them? They know that if anything happened and they needed me, I'd be on the next plane to be with them. -- CONFLICTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONFLICTED: You are not a "bad daughter." You are a caring daughter who has made a success of her life, and who, because she loves her parents, is making herself crazy over choices she made years ago that she can't change. You are doing more for your parents than many people do, so stop flogging yourself. Please!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and hopelessly confused. I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with someone I haven't seen in person for several months. At first, I wasn't "into" him, but after we began talking over Skype and emailing, he told me he liked me, so I said I liked him, too -- even though I'm not physically attracted to him. I figured that since he lives so far away and there's no one at my school I could see myself liking, why make him feel bad by telling the truth?

Now he's coming to visit for a few days, and I'm worried that I won't like him. I'm his first girlfriend, and I think his parents are excited to see that he finally found someone. My mom tells me that he's a very nice boy and won't leave me like the rest of my egocentric exes. He's just very immature and socially awkward.

I thought I might eventually fall for him because he's smart, motivated and sweet -- three things I value in a guy. What do I do about this? Is there something wrong with me? -- HOPELESSLY CONFUSED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR CONFUSED: There is nothing "wrong" with you -- you are 17 and not experienced. When the young man said he liked you, you should have told him that you like him for all the qualities you mentioned, but as a friend.

When he comes to visit, if he tries to make the encounter romantic, level with him. If you're not attracted to him, it would be cruel to lead him on. You're both still young and have many dating experiences ahead of you. In the future, please remember that honesty is the best policy.

DEAR ABBY: My recently divorced, beautiful, intelligent daughter, "Glynnis," is an executive with a global firm and has a high net worth. During her divorce she reconnected with a high school friend who moved in with her.

This "friend" is a jobless, obese, coarse man who has been divorced three times. Glynnis uses him as an errand/houseboy, chauffeur, bodyguard, handyman and general flunky. He will do anything she asks of him at any time. One can only assume he thinks he has won the lottery.

This man is an embarrassment of monumental proportions. We live in another state and go to visit them. I am extremely uncomfortable with the bizarre image of a couple they present. At lunch, dinner or out shopping with them, people actually gasp when they realize the two are together.

I cannot relate to him. Conversing with him is hopeless. Of course, it's my daughter's business who she wants in her life. But I'm disgusted with the entire scenario. I don't want to damage my relationship with my daughter. Any suggestions? -- GLYNNIS' DAD

DEAR DAD: Yes. Try harder to find something you have in common with your daughter's companion, and you may start to understand what she sees in him. Right now he's serving a purpose. Having been through a divorce, she may want a man around who can perform all the jobs you listed. Or, she may just want someone she can control. If you're serious about his function as a bodyguard, suggest that if she feels threatened, she should talk to the police, who are trained to handle such matters.

As you said, your daughter is intelligent. It's unlikely she'll remarry anytime soon. So calm down and try to be less judgmental, because unless you manage it, you will drive a wedge between yourself and Glynnis. Or stay home.

DEAR ABBY: My son is 24 and was honorably discharged as a corporal after a four-year enlistment in the U.S. Marine Corps. He was deployed twice to Iraq. Since his return he has been attending community college, but he lacks the focus and is bored. He has recently announced that he would like to return to the military.

When he approached the Marine recruiter to re-enlist, he was told he's ineligible due to tattoos on his arms. After four years of honorable and devoted service, this rejection is insulting. He has announced to family that he will pursue enlistment in the French Foreign Legion next year.

This is very distressing to me, and I'm sick with worry about his well-being. I do not want him to go off to fight in a foreign military. Can you offer any words of wisdom? -- WORRIED MOM IN GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR WORRIED MOM: Encourage your son to explore enlistment opportunities with other branches of the U.S. military regarding their tattoo policies. However, while you and I might consider his desire to join the French Foreign Legion to be an extreme overreaction to his rejection by the Marines, as an adult he has a right to make that choice. If he goes through with his plan, he may see less action than he would as a member of the U.S. military.

While I can't make this easier for you as a parent, I do have this advice to offer. Tell your son it would be in his best interest to learn some basic French before he goes.

DEAR ABBY: My twin sister and I have lived across the country from each other for many years, but have remained close through phone calls. Two years ago she began talking politics, and we realized we differ on the topic. I asked her if we could not talk so much about the subject and just "agree to disagree."

Things were fine until she planned a visit to see me and also a friend who agrees politically with her. I told her she was welcome to use my car to see her friend, but I didn't want to go because I knew politics would be brought up. It made her very angry, and she ended up canceling her trip.

We have continued our phone chats, and I stayed with her several days last year to celebrate our brother's birthday. But the bond we had is no longer there. I can feel her and my brother pulling away from me. I'm sure it's because of our political differences.

I don't know how to turn things around. I have never argued with them, but feel they are making me an outsider. How can I get them back without compromising my own views?

Twenty years ago, my sister and I differed on some religious points, and she wanted nothing to do with me for the next two years. It took our mother's death to get us back together. Help! -- LOVES MY TWIN

DEAR LOVES: While you and your twin were womb-mates, nowhere is it written that because of your twinship you must think in unison. For the time being, my advice is to calm down. This being an election year, feelings are running high. Keep the lines of communication open as far as your sister and brother will allow. After the election is over, your relationship may normalize.

However, if it doesn't, then it's important you remember that the experiences we have as we travel life's path can turn even twins into very different people. Accept that, and your heart will be less fragile.