DEAR ABBY: In our condominium complex, there is one family who are disrespectful to everyone. "Sasha" allows her 11-year-old son, "Travis," to damage people's property, lie, steal, harass neighbors, make threats and make a lot of noise. The police have been called many times. I have been told Sasha has physically attacked at least two women here, and some residents say her former husband warned them that she is violent.

When neighbors -- including me -- approached Sasha, she said her son is only "having fun" and she accused us of being racist. We feel she is using race to deflect from her poor behavior.

We believe the condo association or management company is either weak or afraid to do anything about this. The situation is unbearable. Her son harasses senior citizens here, too. Please advise us, but do not reveal my name or location because I am afraid of retaliation. -- BEGGING FOR HELP

DEAR BEGGING: No one should have to live under such intimidating and potentially violent circumstances. Because you have been warned about Sasha's behavior, do not confront her yourself.

Speak to the condo association board and or/management company, tell them the conditions you are living under are intolerable, and that they must speak to the woman about her and her son's behavior. There is strength in numbers, so go as a group to the next homeowner's meeting, or sign a petition to show that you are all serious. If you own the condo, you have the ability to vote the members of the board out of office and elect officers who will take responsibility for improving your living conditions.

Resolving this may involve the help of an attorney. And because the police are already aware of this family's history, you may be able to get a restraining order.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Daryl" for more than three years. I am 25; Daryl is 27. He seemed very committed and affectionate, and he's hardworking and well-educated, so I thought we had everything.

He promised me seven months ago that we would get engaged. We looked at rings together, and he told me I should leave the rest to him.

Because it has been seven months and I still don't have a ring, I confronted him. Now he says that he "isn't ready," and he isn't even sure I'm the woman he is going to marry! He says he "thinks" I am, but he doesn't want to make any promises. He also says he loves me and doesn't want me to move out or break up with him. He is willing to set up a spare bedroom for himself so we can have our space.

Abby, I feel betrayed. I was waiting for the ring and now it isn't coming. Should I move out? -- RINGLESS IN BRIGHTON, MASS.

DEAR RINGLESS: Yes. The ring isn't what's important, but what the ring symbolizes is. If after three years of living together your boyfriend still isn't able to decide whether you're the woman he's going to marry, it appears that he's not as committed as you thought.

If marriage is what you want, the time has indeed come to move out. It is also time to move on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: There is a guy at work I've been attracted to for as long as I have worked here -- six years. I work in the office and he is in the field. We see each other a couple of times a week, if that.

We attended a retirement party for one of the employees recently. He started pursuing me. We ended up getting to know each other and stayed together the rest of the night. We seemed to get along very well.

We took a drive, and he was holding my hand and saying all the things a woman wants to hear. We kissed. When the night came to an end, we sat in his car and hugged and fell asleep together. (He did not push me to do anything more than the kissing, hugging and hand-holding, which I respect.) It seemed like a beautiful dream.

The following week at work he claimed not to remember much of that night, although he seemed to have a smirk on his face when he said it. Abby, anytime I hook up with someone, I tell myself, "Let's see what happens," and I don't pursue it any further, hoping the guy will. (I'm shy when it comes to men.) Then nothing ever happens. I'll be 30 soon and I've been single almost 10 years.

Should I pursue this further, or leave it alone and see what happens as I've always done? -- SMITTEN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SMITTEN: Whether you pursue it further or leave it alone, nothing is going to happen with this fellow. When he told you he "didn't remember" much about that night, he was conveying the message that you, too, should forget it. So take the hint and thank your lucky stars that the "beautiful dream" wasn't more X-rated than the one you described.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a "friend" who is involved in a charitable organization that provides donated items to people in need via community giveaways.

Over the years we have given various items to this person to use in these giveaways. However, we have noticed that some of the items we have given her are now showing up in her home, and clothing we donated is being worn by her family members.

Abby, we donated because we believed our things were going to those in need. Are we wrong to be upset that they have been kept for her family's use? We are considering no longer giving our donations to her.

She is a wonderful person, and we're hesitant to confront her with our concerns, but we are left feeling our generosity was abused. How should we handle this? -- USED AND ABUSED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR USED: Unless this "wonderful person" has been paying the organization for your items, what she is doing could be considered theft or fraud and an abuse of your generosity. To prevent it from happening in the future, deliver the items directly to the organization and not to her.

DEAR ABBY: When is it appropriate to ask a stepparent about a deceased parent's will? I don't want to cause any hard feelings, but I think that at some point I have a right to know about my parent's will. -- CATHY IN GEORGIA

DEAR CATHY: Of course you have the right to know about the contents of your parent's will. I don't know how long your parent has been gone, but if it has been more than a month, contact his or her attorney and inquire.

DEAR ABBY: Shortly after my wife and I were married, my wife got pregnant. Due to complications with the pregnancy, the baby had to be delivered early through a C-section. Our baby didn't make it. That was four years ago.

After unsuccessfully trying to conceive for almost a year now, my wife decided she wanted to find out why. We learned that there is a problem that was most likely caused by the C-section. Although we are still trying to see what can be done, there is a good chance that things won't be as easy as we expected regarding a pregnancy.

I'm personally in no hurry, but my wife is suffering a great deal as a result of this. I'm trying to ease things for her, telling her that this is not her fault and that we're in this together, and trying to reassure her that she is more important to me than kids.

However, she keeps saying that I'm just saying it, and with time I will change my mind and start to think about having kids. She says this is a basic instinct and it will eventually show up. My question is: Is life without kids unbearable to an extent that we might reach a point we won't be able to continue together? -- CONFUSED HUSBAND IN JORDAN

DEAR CONFUSED HUSBAND: There are many happily childless couples. But before you and your wife reconcile to being one of them, consult an ob/gyn who specializes in infertility. Thanks to advances in medical science, there is more than one way to become parents. If your wife isn't able to carry a pregnancy to term because of her surgery, you may be able to hire a surrogate to do it. The baby would result from your sperm and your wife's egg and be your biological child.

It's possible that your wife is depressed and could benefit from talking with a mental health professional. I hope you both will start doing some research to find out what options are available to you -- including adoption -- if you wish to become parents.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married English lady who came to the United States in 1985. I have a good career working for the same company for more than 20 years. My husband and I have no children. We enjoy travel and twice a year visit my aging parents in England.

My problem is that my guilt for not being there for my parents is growing stronger by the day. I'm an only child and feel that although they are both in relatively good health, they really need me. To move there would be financially impossible for us. Every year for the past 10 years we have spent a total of four weeks with them in England. I call them every three days on the phone, and yet the guilt continues to build.

Is what I'm doing acceptable, or am I a bad daughter for choosing to live my life so far away from them? They know that if anything happened and they needed me, I'd be on the next plane to be with them. -- CONFLICTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONFLICTED: You are not a "bad daughter." You are a caring daughter who has made a success of her life, and who, because she loves her parents, is making herself crazy over choices she made years ago that she can't change. You are doing more for your parents than many people do, so stop flogging yourself. Please!