DEAR ABBY: This is my first-ever Dear Abby letter. I am disgusted by the lack of manners shown by cellphone users. I run an antique store in a small tourist town. I cannot tell you how many "insulted and incensed" customers I have asked to please leave my shop because they insisted on talking on their cellphones.

I have also asked people in church to carry on their conversations outside. A man at my daughter's high school graduation got a call and proceeded to talk on and on until I finally asked him to leave. This has happened in restaurants, movies -- even a Broadway play.

It's inconceivable to me that cellphone users are unwilling or unable to understand that their VIP conversations are an intrusion and rude to those who are forced to listen. -- PEEVED IN NANTUCKET, MASS.

DEAR PEEVED: It is difficult to teach consideration for others to people who have none. However, allow me to clue you in to what some communities are doing to curb the intrusion of cellphones: They have posted signs in restaurants, theaters and shops that read, "Cellphone-Free Zone. The owner of this establishment thanks you for not using your cellphone on the premises. If you must make or receive a call, please do so outside." That way, customers are warned in a way that's not confrontational.

DEAR ABBY: What is proper when you're talking with someone and you notice the person has food stuck in his or her teeth? What if the person is part of a group and someone you don't know very well? -- TOOTHFUL IN FLORIDA

DEAR TOOTHFUL: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you were in the other person's place, wouldn't you want to be told?

Even if you know the person only casually, try to ease him or her away from the group and say, "I know we don't know each other very well, but I thought you should know you have something in your teeth. It's happened to me, and I thought you'd like to know, too."

Consider it a charitable act. The person will: First, be embarrassed; second, be grateful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a supervisor in a consulting firm. I have recently been assigned an employee who does not dress appropriately for the workplace. The fashion choices she makes are unprofessional and too casual for our company. She wears no makeup, nor does she consistently care for her hair.

Abby, this young woman meets the public. Her job is to consult with clients and advise them about investing their money. Her appearance has been commented on by clients and colleagues alike and does not lend confidence in her skills and abilities. How do I counsel her without hurting her feelings? -- APPREHENSIVE IN CONSERVATIVE-VILLE

DEAR APPREHENSIVE: Your job as supervisor includes counseling your employees with regard to anything that affects job performance and the image of the company. If the company doesn't have a dress code, it's time to establish one.

Then schedule a private meeting with this employee and discuss what you expect from her. Offer her a few pictures of appropriate business attire and stylish, easily manageable hairstyles. Stress that her appearance is an important part of the image of the company and your clients' perception of her skills and talents.

By emphasizing that the dress code will be of value to her, you'll put yourself in the position of doing her a favor rather than being critical.

DEAR ABBY: I have been teaching for 30 years in the same school district. I can't tell you how many times 30- to 45-year-old men have come up to me and said, "You don't remember me, do you?" When they were in elementary school, they were not sporting facial hair and didn't have receding hairlines. Still, I feel bad not being able to make their day by spouting off their first and last names.

All of my students are special to me. However, although some of these men attended my school, not all of them were in my classroom. I'm flattered they recognize me, but what's the best way to respond in a situation like this?

Also, could you give your readers some suggestions about how to approach former educators so we won't have to rummage frantically through the file cabinets of our brains trying to decide which child from the past this grown-up might be? -- STRUGGLING TO RECALL IN ARKANSAS

DEAR STRUGGLING: When someone approaches you and says, "You don't remember me, do you?" an appropriate response would be, "Refresh my memory!" Said with a smile, it shouldn't be offensive.

This potentially embarrassing problem can easily be avoided if the former student simply says, "Mrs. Jones, it's so nice to see you. I'm 'John Smith' and you were my teacher in 1991."

DEAR ABBY: We have some neighbors who recently bought a large parrot they keep in a cage in their backyard. This bird squawks so loudly we can hear it inside our home with the windows closed, and we are no longer able to enjoy our own backyard or patio.

Their yard is fenced in, so I haven't met or even seen these neighbors. For the life of me, I cannot understand how someone could subject others to this kind of intrusion. It is so disrespectful. We can only assume the bird is kept outside so they don't have to listen to its loud screeching inside their own home.

The bird squawks loudly about every 10 to 15 seconds and it goes on for hours -- usually in the mornings and evenings. My nerves are rattled and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I hesitate to call the authorities because I am worried about the consequences. What would you suggest? -- FOR THE BIRDS IN FLORIDA

DEAR F.T.B.: Unfortunately, some people decide to buy parrots without first researching what's involved in their proper care and maintenance. Parrots are gregarious creatures and must be kept socialized with another parrot or with the humans who care for them. They also require mental stimulation to remain psychologically healthy.

Because their natural habitat is the rainforest, they have loud voices so they can communicate over long distances. Your neighbors obviously didn't take that into consideration when they bought the bird and decided to house it outside.

Inform them politely about the noise problem their bird is creating and ask that they house it inside. If they refuse, inform the Humane Society or the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to ensure that the enclosure is being kept clean, and that the bird is being fed a healthy diet and has access to clean water. As a last resort, if necessary, inform local law enforcement that your neighbor's parrot is creating a sound nuisance.

DEAR ABBY: I am 38 and have been married to a good husband and provider for 11 years. We have two beautiful children and a lovely home. We appear to be the perfect couple.

Our problem is, my husband seems to be intimidated by my sexuality. In the past, I have told my husband what pleases me. My comments made him feel inadequate, and he has completely given up. We haven't had sex in two years. He says he would rather pleasure himself so he doesn't have to worry that he isn't "doing it right."

I am a normal, red-blooded woman, and I need sex several times a month. Is that so wrong? I have resorted to having an affair with a man whose wife isn't interested in sex, but I would prefer having a sex life with my husband.

I think my husband knows I am unfaithful. However, he accepts it because it's easier for him to deal with than having sex with me. Is there anything I can do to make my husband try again? -- DESPERATELY SEEKING SEX

DEAR DESPERATELY: Having affairs may temporarily satisfy your sexual needs, but it can only damage your marriage further. If ever there were candidates who could benefit from sex therapy, it is you and your husband. Even though he may be reluctant to face this problem, insist that he see a therapist with you. Please don't wait -- it could save your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and have been best friends with "Alana" for five years. We do everything together. We like the same things, and we're so close that we finish each other's sentences. She's like a sister to me.

However, the difference between us is that Alana gets crushes on boys that never work out, whereas multiple boys have liked me. After each crush falls through, Alana says her life is awful and it must be her fault. When I try to tell her it's not her fault and she's a wonderful person, she ends the conversation.

It hurts me to see her upset, but sometimes I feel lost about what to do. What can I do to help my friend know she's a beautiful person inside and out, and she doesn't need a boy to be happy? I love her and just want her to be OK. -- BEST FRIENDS IN RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CALIF.

DEAR BEST FRIENDS: Until Alana learns for herself that she doesn't need a boy to be happy, she will continue developing crushes that don't work out. Boys are attracted to girls who appear to be happy and confident, and your friend appears to be neither. Much as you might like to, you can't fix this for her. But once she finally gets the message, she will probably realize that someone she never took the time to notice has a crush on her.

DEAR ABBY: I gave birth to a son almost 40 years ago. His biological father would not help me, so I placed the baby for adoption.

Here's the problem: People are always asking me if I have any children. Should I lie and say no, or try to explain? Legally, my son does not belong to me. Please tell me what to say to my questioners. -- SINCERELY CONCERNED

DEAR CONCERNED: Usually people ask that question only as a way to make conversation. Your personal history is nobody's business. If you prefer not to give a detailed explanation about your personal history, simply say no.