DEAR ABBY: I have recently developed what I consider to be a very healthy lifestyle. I exercise, eat lots of fruits and vegetables and mostly whole foods.

My problem is I think I may be becoming obsessed. It has become harder and harder to eat away from home. I constantly plan what I'm going to eat next. I'm still happy, but too much of my time is being spent on this.

Apparently, there's a disorder similar to anorexia known as orthorexia. It's the psychological obsession with eating healthy. I don't think I could be classified as an extreme case, but what should I do before I become one? -- OBSESSED IN BOSTON

DEAR OBSESSED: As with any obsessive disorder, the first step is realizing and admitting you may have one. Then discuss it with your physician and ask for a referral to a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders.

This is not to say that you have a disorder -- but because more and more of your time is being devoted to thoughts of food, it would be a good idea to check. Too much of a good thing can be harmful if it is taken too far.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and have one child. I have been married for three years, and my husband has recently become physically abusive. He was prosecuted for his actions and pleaded guilty, but he still blames me entirely for the scenario and refuses to accept any responsibility.

I fear for the safety of myself and my daughter every day, and I want to leave him for good. Many of the shelters I have called require that I quit my job, which is something I feel is counterintuitive to establishing a life on my own, so I refuse. That said, I don't make much money, and the money I do make goes toward paying the fine my husband incurred for harming me.

Am I aiming too high? I feel the only way to break free from him entirely is to quit my job, but I don't want to have to resort to this. What would you advise? -- CONFLICTED OUT WEST

DEAR CONFLICTED: I would advise you to take your child and get out of there before the next episode of domestic violence. And, if you truly want to break free entirely from your abuser, that you follow to the letter the instructions you receive from the people at the domestic violence shelter. And one more thing: Let the person who incurred the fine pay it himself!

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about office microwave etiquette. I work in a building with one kitchen for 40 people. Often there is a wait to use the microwave around lunchtime. Recently I needed to use it and found a warm packaged meal in there, and no owner around. I waited five minutes and came back. It was still there as if it had been forgotten.

I decided to place it on the counter with a napkin covering it so I could use the microwave. When I was finished, no one appeared to claim it, so I put it back in and went on my way.

Did I do the right thing? There was no way to know whose meal it was. What's proper in this situation? Should I have just waited? -- HUNGRY IN ITHACA, N.Y.

DEAR HUNGRY: You handled the situation appropriately. However, had it been me, I would have left the item on the counter so it wouldn't be touched by the other 38 hungry people in your office who also needed to use the microwave.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Worried Mom in Gainesville, Fla." (July 13), whose son was not allowed to re-enlist in the Marine Corps.

I hate to say this, but that young man knew darned well when he got those tattoos he would not be able to re-enlist. The U.S. Navy (which the Marine Corps "technically" falls under) passed the New Enlistment Tattoo Policy in January 2003, with the Marine Corps adding its policy in April 2007. -- SPOUSE OF RETIRED NAVY CPO

DEAR SPOUSE: You are correct. Many readers wrote to say the Navy had passed new tattoo policies in 2003 and the Marine Corps followed suit in 2007. If re-enlisting is so important to "Worried Mom's" son, all he needs to do is have his "tatts" removed. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The issue isn't time served or his honorable discharge. The Marine Times recently published an article on Marine policy regarding tattoos. The Corps seeks to discourage full-sleeve tattoos and tattoos above the neck. They are regarded as unprofessional in appearance and may incorporate gang-related symbols. "Worried Mom's" son likely knew the guidelines.

The mother said her son is bored and lacks focus in college. This suggests he may have PTSD. His desire to enlist in the French Foreign Legion may have short-term gains, but it may also compound mental health problems. -- MARC IN SOUTH ORANGE, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: The nonsense about joining the French Foreign Legion shows that the young man lacks maturity. He chose to get the tattoos; he can either have laser removal or live with his decision. He wants to be a Marine and is crying about a regulation he does not like? That is definitely not Marine quality! It appears he needs a serious dose of maturity. -- CHRIS IN INDEPENDENCE, MO.

DEAR ABBY: The French Foreign Legion is a rational choice for this bored veteran of two tours in Iraq. After three five-year enlistments, he will be eligible to retire. Plus, the legion will prepare him for a civilian occupation.

He will be able to live in France after only one enlistment, which gives him the benefits of the French medical system. Many employers in Europe prefer to hire ex-legionnaires. The legion also has a history of teaching its recruits how to speak enough French to get along.

How do I know this? My brother joined the FFL at age 35. Wish I had, too. -- CHARLES IN FORT WORTH, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Currently, the Australian forces are expanding and are unable to fill their ranks with their own citizens, so they are recruiting members from other nations. The mission of the Australian military is similar to the U.S. military. As a member of the Australian forces, he would be defending the same ideals as the U.S. military. I retired from the U.S. Navy last year and seriously considered doing this, too. -- RETIRED NAVY, REDMOND, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: This young man, like our son, is clearly experiencing the effects of PTSD. The impact of this disorder on our servicemen affects their ability to readjust to civilian life and move forward with positive life planning. The signs of PTSD can be subtle, but they are very real. The man in that letter needs professional help. His injuries, while not physically obvious, require attention. -- CONCERNED PARENTS

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old stepson, "Justin," doesn't drink or do drugs. For the most part, he stays out of trouble. The problem is, he has been caught for the third time having unprotected sex.

My anger isn't at Justin so much as at his parents, obviously his father. Justin has lied repeatedly about this. His father lets him get away with many things, for the most part minor. But this is different. A 15-year-old boy can't take care of a baby, and having sex with multiple partners means exposing everyone involved to STDs.

My husband is a smart man, but for some reason he seems to think this will end well. I worry about his son becoming a father too soon and missing out on his full potential. My husband and his ex have dealt with this by trying to ignore it, and for the most part I haven't involved myself. But the more I think about it, the more I see the danger of Justin's life being changed forever because his parents don't want to make him unhappy for a minute.

I love my husband and stepson. Allowing this to continue isn't the right path for anyone. Am I overreacting? If not, what can I do that won't cause a huge blowup with my husband? -- ALARMED IN CHICAGO

DEAR ALARMED: You're not overreacting. Your husband is doing his son no favors by enabling his irresponsible behavior instead of asserting himself and acting like a parent. Justin may think that fathering a child will make him a "real man." But unless your husband can get through to him that real men take care of themselves and their partners, and real men don't risk bringing children into the world they can't take care of, then face it: He's letting his son play baby roulette, and it's only a matter of time until he'll be a grandpa.

DEAR ABBY: My son has a wonderful girlfriend, "Michelle." They live with my ex-husband and visit my husband, "Daryl," and me twice a month and on special occasions. Michelle is sweet, caring, smart and funny. The problem is, she doesn't wear a bra. Ever.

Relatives have commented about it to us at family gatherings because she's not flat-chested. We already know. It's obvious. Daryl feels a woman should go without a bra only in the privacy of her own home, and I agree. He thinks I should buy Michelle a bra as a "subtle hint." I don't think that's wise, and I don't want to offend her.

Because it doesn't seem to matter to my son, should we continue to keep our opinions to ourselves? -- SEES A NEED FOR SUPPORT IN FLORIDA

DEAR SEES A NEED: Because people are talking, it would be a kindness to say something to Michelle -- but delicately, so she doesn't think you are criticizing her. If you have a good relationship with her, invite her to join you for lunch and, while you're on the subject of the last gathering, mention that some of the relatives noticed her bralessness. Then tell her that you need to go lingerie shopping and invite her along. Ask her to help you pick out a few pretty things for yourself, and then offer to treat her to some things she likes. She just may take you up on it.