DEAR ABBY: I cut my father out of my life years ago, after he declared he could not support my decision to adopt three children from a Russian orphanage with my longtime companion. The adoption announcement coincided with my "coming out" to Dad, who is now married to his third wife.

It must have been a lot for him to take in at one time. He told me plainly that he could not support my decision because he could not "understand" it. He has never met our children, and does not acknowledge them as his grandchildren.

This year on Father's Day, I sent him a card and he replied by email that he was glad to hear from me and he hoped for a reconciliation, but was not sure how to go about it. I responded by email that I was cautiously optimistic that we could reignite a respectful relationship.

I haven't heard back from him and I suspect it's because he saw that I had changed my last name from his to my husband's, a decision I made after our marriage. My father was not aware that I had gotten married. I think I have overwhelmed him again, which has rendered him speechless. Please advise me on how to proceed. -- PRODIGAL SON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SON: Call your father, tell him you love him and that you would like to schedule a visit with him -- but would like to send him some reading material before you do. Then contact PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). The phone number is 202-467-8180 and you'll find them on the Internet at www.pflag.org. They will be happy to provide you with literature for your dad to help him "understand." Frankly, he has my sympathy because before you hit him with the "double whammy," he didn't have a clue about who you really are.

Whether your name change overwhelmed him or not is irrelevant. The ball is now in your court, so if you want to have a hope of a relationship with your father, you will have to make the next move.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I proposed to the woman who changed me for the better. I love her with all my heart, but after we had been engaged for only four days everything came to a stop. Her mother was against the marriage, and my fiancee wasn't strong enough to follow her heart. We had been in a relationship for more than nine years, most of it long distance except for the last two years.

I couldn't understand her change of heart, and I tried with all my might to find some middle ground. "Claudette" has three children from her first marriage, and I had become a part of their lives and an important family friend.

After getting no reason for calling off the wedding, I began texting her for an answer only to be arrested for cyber-stalking. I know in my heart from letters sent back and forth that this wasn't Claudette's idea, but I can't let go. I know she's the one for me. We made a great couple, but her mother couldn't stand the fact that we were so close. How do I let her go? -- GRIEVING IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRIEVING: You may not believe this, but you're a lucky man. It may take the help of a psychologist for you to disengage emotionally and move on. Given that you wound up in trouble with the law, this would be a wise decision.

It might also help to envision what it would have been like being married not only to Claudette, but also to her mother -- because they appear to be joined at the hip, and the part that's doing the thinking isn't your former fiancee. This may be the reason that her first marriage failed.

DEAR ABBY: After years of denial I have come to realize that I am bisexual. I'm happily married to a straight man, and we have a great marriage I wouldn't change for the world. He is my soul mate, and we plan to be together for many years to come. I just happen to be physically attracted to women, too.

Some people say I can't be bisexual if I've never been with a woman; I say they're wrong. Am I correct?

How do I deal with this in social situations? I'm afraid to put it on my social media profile for fear of a backlash from my family. I'd like my friends to know, but it doesn't feel proper to just come out and say, "I'm bi."

I was hoping some of your readers might be able to give me some input. How does one "come out" without overdoing it or coming across the wrong way? Is there a right way? Should I continue keeping it a secret?

I'm not sure what to do with my revelation. I have pondered it for some time now, and felt I could trust you to give me tactful, unbiased advice. -- BI IN THE DEEP SOUTH

DEAR B.I.T.D.S.: Bisexuality is having an attraction to people of both sexes, and yes, it is possible to be bisexual without having acted upon it.

However, being married means you are (happily) involved in a monogamous relationship. To announce that you are bisexual and/or put it on the Internet would be a mistake, in my opinion, not only because it would shock your family, but also because it might seem like you were advertising that you are "available." Unless you are promiscuous, you are not available. Most married people agree to be committed to their spouses regardless of whether they are straight, gay or bi.

If you choose to confide your diverse sexual orientation to your close friends, that is your business. But if you do, please remember that once two people know something, there's a strong likelihood of the news spreading faster than the flu.

P.S. If you do decide to divulge, be sure to tell your husband first.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a jewelry store where the associates get generous discounts. I mentioned the amount of my discount at one family party, and ever since, my brother-in-law has continued to ask to use it for my sister.

Abby, letting others use my discount is strictly forbidden. Although the store may never find out, this goes against my morals.

My sister's birthday is in six weeks, and today I told him we can split the cost for the item she wants. I offered because I felt pressured. I have now decided that I can't go against my morals, plus the item is pretty expensive even with my discount.

How do I tell him no? I have told him before that it's against company policy, but the message isn't getting through. -- FEELING USED IN GEORGIA

DEAR FEELING USED: Tell your brother-in-law that even with the discount, splitting the cost of the birthday gift is too much for you. Then reiterate firmly that doing this is against company policy and could cost you your job. It's the truth.

While the conversation may not be pleasant, it's important to deliver the message now so he can make other arrangements to pay for that expensive piece of jewelry your sister is expecting.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2013! While the last year has been a stressful one for many, a new year has begun, bringing with it our chance for a fresh start.

Today is the day we have an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions that were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say: "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may this new year bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY