DEAR ABBY: My son is a tall, strikingly handsome teenager, although somewhat shy. Our problem is that his looks attract the wrong kind of attention from aggressive girls, and it's getting worse every year.

He and his 14-year-old sister went out to eat after school yesterday, and when they returned it was obvious my son was upset and his sister was furious. She said a group of college girls at a table next to them were teasing and taunting my son with blatantly sexual propositions. They went so far as to touch him suggestively as they got up to leave.

I'm sure they got the physical response from him they wanted; he is only 17, after all. But he was clearly angry, embarrassed and ashamed. He said he felt trapped and didn't know what to do.

The sexual harassment of young men is often laughed off with a wink and a nudge, but it isn't funny. It can be as painful and damaging to men as to women. Furthermore, my son is a minor, and I suspect the college girls were adults, if the beer on the table was any indication.

I am trying to raise my son to respect women and to be a decent man, husband and father someday, but frankly, I'm at a loss as to how to help him handle this type of sexual aggressiveness from girls. Do you or any of your readers have any suggestions? -- SHOCKED MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MOM: I can see why your son and daughter were upset. He was not only sexually harassed by those young women, but when they put their hands on him, he was assaulted. When the teasing escalated, he and his sister should have changed tables or left the restaurant.

If your son's father is in the picture, he should discuss the incident with your son. If that's not possible, another adult male should help him understand that his arousal was normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I am sure my male readers will also want to weigh in on your letter because what happened to your son was outrageous.

DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a used car for myself. It is exotic, and my wife and I really like it. She's upset with me, however, because I won't let her drive it unless I'm in the car. I bought it with the intent for us to enjoy it, but I am also concerned with keeping it in good shape.

Because my wife is unhappy, I am undecided about whether to keep the car and stick to my guns, or sell it and live life simply and unfettered. We share everything, but the car is one thing that needs careful attention. Can you give me some advice? -- DOESN'T WANT IT DENTED IN RANCHO CORDOVA, CALIF.

DEAR DOESN'T WANT IT DENTED: Let's be honest. On one hand, you say you bought the car for yourself, and on the other, you say you bought it for both of you to enjoy. You can't have it both ways, so which is it?

I think the time has come to confess to your wife that even though you said the car was for both of you, it's really your baby. Then make it up to her by buying her that special something she has always wished for.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 years to a man I have a good relationship with. My problem is he has always been extremely rude to my parents. They aren't critical or judgmental of him, and they try hard to be friendly and accommodating, perhaps thinking it might lessen the rudeness he continually shows them.

Example: If my mom asks him how his parents are doing, without looking up from his cellphone he'll grunt and say, "They're fine" -- nothing more. When we go out to dinner, he usually doesn't join in the conversation. Instead, he just sits there with a dismissive, bored look on his face.

I have told him I don't want him to come with me when I visit them. It only takes a few times before he asks if he can come again and promises to try to behave. But after a few visits, he reverts back to his old, rude ways. It has reached a point that it's affecting our marriage. Can you offer any suggestions for how this issue can be resolved? -- TIRED OF IT IN TORONTO

DEAR TIRED OF IT: It would be helpful to know why your husband behaves this way. Does he dislike your folks? Does he have so little in common with them he doesn't know how to participate in a conversation with them? Is he this way with any other people?

Perhaps it would be better for all concerned if he saw them with you less often, say, 30 percent to 50 percent of the time. And before he does, make sure he is up to the task of being social because, as it stands, I agree his behavior is rude.

He's not a teenager with his nose buried in a cellphone; he's an adult who should know better. If he finds your parents' company less than stimulating, he should be a better actor.

DEAR ABBY: Last year my darling mother lost her battle with cancer. Aside from grief and loss, a bigger issue looms over my life. It concerns my stepdad.

Before Mom was diagnosed, my stepfather was a selfish, self-centered man. At times he was mean to her to the point that I wanted her to leave him. In fairness, once Mom was diagnosed, he stepped up to the plate and took excellent care of her until her death.

I have other issues with my stepfather. He was inappropriate with me, sharing things he should have kept to himself. It caused my mother great heartache and made me lose respect for him. I am still uncomfortable around him. Mom knew how I felt and understood.

Now that she is gone, do I have any obligation to him? He has a strained relationship with his only child. My sibling thinks I'm too hard on him, but doesn't understand the major problems our stepdad caused. I don't want to continue pretending I like him. Please help, Abby. -- SEARCHING FOR GUIDANCE

DEAR SEARCHING: You are entitled to your feelings and, no, you do not have any obligation to your stepfather. If your sibling wants to see him, that's his/her choice. Explain to your sibling your reasons for feeling the way you do -- and if you encounter your stepfather during family gatherings, be polite and don't linger. That isn't pretending to like the man; it is good manners.

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old son, "Nils," recently joined a sport he really enjoys. His stepdad and I are at every practice, helping the coaches and coaching my son along.

Nils recently commented to me that he would like it if his father could come and see him practice. I took it upon myself, as I usually do, to call my ex, "John," and suggest he make an appearance because it would make our son happy.

My husband, who has been a wonderful stepdad to Nils for 13 years now, told me I should leave it alone. He said if John was a "real" father, he would just show up without being asked.

When things like this happen, should I leave it alone, or should I ask John to be involved more than he tries to be? I tell my ex about all of our son's activities and sometimes he just doesn't show. -- TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOM

DEAR TRYING: Not knowing your former husband, I can't guess his reason for not coming to your son's practices, particularly if he said he was going to attend. John may be irresponsible, or he may have unforeseen scheduling conflicts. By telling him about your son's activities and letting him know his presence is wanted, you have done your job as a conscientious mother. At 14, Nils is old enough to also call his father and invite him. The rest is up to your ex.

DEAR ABBY: In reference to the letter from the man who was constantly setting off "gaydar" alarms in females (March 10), I would like to share my experience.

I dated and then married a man who incorrectly set off my "gaydar." It had nothing to do with his mannerisms, his speech or appearance. It was his extreme personal insecurity regarding dating and making friends. In addition, "Mr. Not-Gay" could neither read nor write, which caused even more emotional insecurity.

After we had been married 10 years he became physically disabled and we had to move. No one in our new city took him for gay, even without me and without a wedding ring on him. He divorced me at 62 because the 30-something home-care aides looked better, but that's another story. -- MARCIA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MARCIA: I hope you will write again and tell us the rest of the story, as I'm sure I'm not the only person who would be interested in reading it. I agree that individuals who are uncomfortable with themselves sometimes emit vibes that make others uncomfortable because I have experienced it. But this subject does highlight the absurdity of gay stereotypes. Because a man is slight, soft-spoken and a meticulous dresser does not mean he is gay, any more than it means a man who is fat, sloppy and loud is straight.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing "Duane" for two months. He's kind, good-looking, successful, smart and fun. He's also apparently quite proud of his astonishingly hairy chest because he always wears his shirts unbuttoned nearly to his navel. When we're in public, you can see people react. Sometimes they point and whisper.

I gently raised the issue, but he didn't seem to think it was a big deal. I like him, but I'm embarrassed sometimes. Any thoughts? -- BLUSHING IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR BLUSHING: Yes. Your friend is suffering from overexposure. When strangers point and whisper, what they're saying is usually no compliment. Because Duane's decolletage embarrasses you, give him a choice: Button up or mow the "lawn."