DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who has been trying to give my father a second chance. I was taken away from my parents when I was 8 because they were on drugs. I haven't seen my father for three years, but now that he's living with my grandparents and me, I decided to give him a second chance.

He has been very "hand-sy" with me -- giving me massages, kissing my cheek -- and this all makes me very uncomfortable. I thought it was because he hasn't seen me in a while, but today as I was leaving to go to my mom's, he slapped my butt as I walked out the door. Now I'm scared. I spend a lot of the day at home with him alone. I don't want things to get out of hand. Any advice? -- WORRIED IN DELAWARE

DEAR WORRIED: Your father has lost three years with you. He may not realize that his "little girl" is no longer a child. That is why it is important that you tell him what he's doing makes you uncomfortable. You should also tell your mother and grandparents about what's happening and that it scares you. You do not have to tolerate unwanted contact, and if it persists, report it to a teacher or counselor at school or contact me again.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma. I work in a small high school in a student support position. Girls come into my office who are pregnant and excited about it! Telling them congratulations for putting themselves in this position seems counterproductive, or like I am endorsing this choice. I don't!

No high school girls -- or boys, for that matter -- should put themselves in a position to be a parent when they themselves aren't fully grown and independent. I feel like saying, "You have ruined your life" instead, but I hold my tongue. What do you suggest? -- DON'T WANT TO ENCOURAGE THEM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DON'T WANT TO ENCOURAGE: Your job is to support the students, not to condemn or endorse their predicament. Telling a pregnant girl she has ruined her life isn't helpful. What you need to do is encourage the girl to get a diploma while she can.

Too many girls fail to complete their high school education when they have a baby, and it impedes their ability to provide for themselves and their child because they are suited only for minimum-wage jobs. If you are enthusiastic about helping them, your positive attitude may be contagious and inspire them to succeed.

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you a short time ago about my marital problems, but I have to share this with you! My husband, who walked out on me, went to a counselor for a session. Then we went together, and he learned a few things about me and himself.

He is coming back, and we are going to work harder at our marriage. We both recognize there were places where we needed to work together more, that he doesn't need to be afraid to talk to me and I can be pretty understanding.

Thank you so much for being there, Abby. I know you always recommend talking to a counselor before doing anything rash, and you are so right. It made all the difference. -- GRATEFUL WIFE IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm pleased counseling helped to open the clogged lines of communication between you and your husband. While it may seem expensive, it's far cheaper than a divorce can be, both emotionally and financially.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 29 and for 10 years I have been struggling with controlling parents. They have cut two of my sisters out of their lives because they live closer to their spouses' parents.

My husband and I are full-time students, ex-military and taking advantage of the G.I. Bill. We're looking for jobs, but my parents have threatened not to speak to me if we take jobs closer to his parents. I'm trying to be fair to both sets of parents, but we can't stay unemployed because of this issue. We have a family to support.

I tried reasoning with them, but I'm unsure how to proceed. Dad called and offered my husband a job in my hometown. We declined because if we accept, they will expect us to live near them. Please tell me what to do. I don't want my family to fall apart any more than it already has. -- SMOTHERED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SMOTHERED: If you feel smothered now, imagine how it would be if you and your husband were economically dependent on your parents. No part of your lives would be separate from them, and you would be completely under their control. Holding the family together is not your responsibility, and you should not sacrifice your independence in an attempt to do so.

Your parents' emotional blackmail has already driven away two of your sisters and their families. I assume you have relationships with your siblings. I'm advising you to maintain them and live your own lives. With time, your parents may realize they haven't isolated their children; they have isolated only themselves.

DEAR ABBY: Today I saw a former classmate I hadn't seen in 22 years. He always seemed a little slow and different from the rest of us, and he was picked on at school because of it. When I said hello to him and reminded him of my name and that we went to school together, he said, "You danced with me at prom, and I always thought that was so nice!" I had forgotten that I had danced with him, but obviously, the fact that I did meant something to him.

My parents raised me to be nice to everyone, even if they weren't in my circle of friends. I'm not claiming that I was a saint in school, but I did try to stand up for people who were being picked on.

I wanted to share with your readers that any act of kindness probably means more than you know to the other person. I will be sharing my parents' message of kindness with my own daughter, and I hope other parents read this and do the same. -- PASSING IT ON IN OHIO

DEAR PASSING IT ON: Thank you for a wonderful letter. Your lesson in compassion is one that all parents should discuss with their children.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 18-year-old girl who will be job searching pretty soon. I have never felt the need to wear makeup in my day-to-day life, but now I'm wondering. Is it unprofessional to go into a workplace sans makeup? Will future bosses think I don't look put-together? I wonder if any other girls my age are having the same confusion. -- READY TO BE OUT THERE

DEAR READY: It depends upon what kind of job you'll be searching for. If you plan to work with the public, you should try to look your best at all times. For your interviews, you should be neatly, but conservatively dressed. And as for makeup, you needn't apply it as though you were going on stage, but a touch of color wouldn't hurt.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, I began to lose my hearing due to a genetic disorder and now I have to wear hearing aids. I will be a freshman in high school next year. My teachers all have to wear microphones so I can hear them.

I'm scared other kids will make fun of me for being different. I have already gotten laughed at. What should I do? -- EMBARRASSED TEEN

DEAR EMBARRASSED TEEN: When people laugh at a person who has a disability, it is usually out of ignorance. Because this happened at school or another place where there is adult supervision, you and your parents should talk to the principal or person in authority so that person can speak privately with the guilty parties and explain why your hearing aids and the microphone are necessary. Your parents should also have a meeting with the principal of your high school before you go so the problem can be avoided.

When I was in grammar school, a classmate of mine had severe hearing loss. Because the students understood what her problem was, she was never ridiculed.

P.S. Making fun of a child who has a disability is a form of bullying, and should be treated as such.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25 and have been with my husband for nine years, married for four. I cheated on him twice. He caught me both times.

Even though I strayed, he decided to stay. But now he treats me like I'm a child and a prisoner. He took away my phone, my Internet and I can't go anywhere. He says this is my punishment for what I did. Do I really deserve that? I know we're both wrong, but is he more wrong? -- BROKEN WIFE

DEAR BROKEN WIFE: From where I sit, you are equally wrong. How long ago did the cheating incidents occur? If they are recent, you two should be in marriage counseling. If they were long ago, then you must decide if you want to live the rest of your life being treated as a child and a prisoner.

Your husband doesn't trust you because you haven't been trustworthy. But taking away your phone and Internet and keeping you under lock and key will not help you to rebuild it.

You two need more help than anyone can give you in a letter, and I hope you will seek it. If he won't go for counseling, you should go without him because I don't think the status quo can last.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and brother-in-law passed away two years ago. I am the only living relative of their 28-year-old son, "Louis." He is a loner, spoiled and a poor houseguest. I invite Louis over only because I don't want him to be alone at holiday times. My husband, teenage daughter and I have nothing in common with him, and frankly, he spoils our holidays.

How can I stop inviting my nephew without feeling guilty? Or is there another solution? I hate to make waves. -- HOLIDAY HATER IN CANADA

DEAR HOLIDAY HATER: If you invite your nephew for fewer holidays you will be able to ease your conscience, enjoy more holidays and allow the young man a chance to become more proactive in planning entertainment for himself.

DEAR ABBY: I may be wrong, but isn't it presumptuous for someone to open the message card on a flower delivery before you get home when the flowers are for you? -- KIMBERLY IN MARYLAND

DEAR KIMBERLY: You're not wrong. The person opening the cards isn't being helpful, but nosy. And it wouldn't be out-of-line to tell the person not to do it again.