DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have five kids, all under 6 years of age. The youngest are 7-month-old twins. A family in our church has offered to watch them so my husband and I can go out on a date. We haven't been alone together in a year. We have no family or friends nearby to offer respite.

I would like to accept their kind offer, but two things are holding me back. First, I don't think they realize the enormity of the task, and it feels like we might be imposing.

Second, I don't have anything to say to my husband. A date would be awkward and most likely consist of "relations." I like my husband, but I'd rather be left alone. What would you do? -- FRAZZLED MOM WITH NO SUPPORT

DEAR FRAZZLED: Before placing your small children in the care of others, invite the family over to see exactly how much work would be involved in watching them. Then discuss with your husband what date night will entail and see if you can agree on what would be a fun night out.

You definitely need a break, and some alone time should be something to look forward to. That it isn't is of concern to me. It's possible you could benefit from marriage counseling to help re-establish a line of verbal communication. And equally important, because you suspect the evening "might" result in relations, make sure you have birth control to prevent an accidental pregnancy.

DEAR ABBY: In this season of graduations and weddings, I would like to urge the honorees to send proper thank-you notes to friends and family who give them gifts and money. Time, money and preparation are put into these events, and the effect is spoiled when guests have to contact stores or scrutinize their bank statements to learn if their gifts were, indeed, received but simply not acknowledged.

Thank-yous aren't difficult. Some "rules": Rather than text or email, write a note on paper and mail it with a stamp via the U.S. mail. If you do, you will be forever known as "that polite young couple" or "the young man/woman who sent the nice note."

Three lines are all that are needed: "Thank you for the ----. I look forward to using/enjoying it when we entertain/grill/vacation/walk the dog, etc. Again, I appreciate your thoughtfulness." That's it!

If showing good manners isn't incentive enough, remember this: These are the people you will be inviting to weddings, baby showers, and your own children's graduations and weddings in the not-so-distant future. A little courtesy goes a long way. -- APPRECIATIVE IN HITCHCOCK, TEXAS

DEAR APPRECIATIVE: While letter-writing may always seem like a chore to some people, there are occasions when a written message is the proper means of communication. Acknowledging the generosity of others is one of those times. Failure to do so indicates that the person's gesture was of so little importance that it was not noticed by the recipient. And frankly, it also indicates a distinct lack of manners.

DEAR ABBY: How do you politely tell friends and relatives who are guests in your home that your computer and TV are off-limits? Once they take control of the remote or the computer, they seem to go crazy and change all the settings to their preferences and never put the settings back when they leave! What can I do, Abby? -- FRUSTRATED IN LEWIS RUN, PA.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: "Remind" any guest who uses your electronic equipment that it must be returned to your original settings before the person leaves your house. If you have already done that and it hasn't worked, then you must find the courage to say, "I'm not letting anyone use my computer or remote control because I have a hard time getting the settings back to where I put them after you leave."

DEAR ABBY: I am writing you not because of a problem, but because of two special people in my life.

I have two daughters, both in their 20s. They are well-educated and happy. I adore them. My wife and I consider ourselves lucky to be their parents. We never pushed them toward goals or to succeed, but they are self-motivated and confident.

I have come to the conclusion that some of us are quite blessed. I'd like you to know that at least two parents in this world realize that we are, and that we count our blessings. I am older now, and my relationship with my daughters continues to mature and grow. Older age has its joys, too -- some far deeper than I had ever imagined. -- AN APPRECIATIVE FATHER IN OREGON

DEAR APPRECIATIVE FATHER: Thank you for writing an "upper" of a letter. Your daughters didn't turn out so well by magic, and congratulations to you and your wife for what was obviously successful parenting. I would like to wish you a very happy Father's Day and offer the same to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, foster fathers, and those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent fathers.

DEAR ABBY: My son is married to a wonderful young woman, "Dana," and they have a small baby. Dana suffered a brain injury years ago that left her somewhat developmentally delayed. Until the baby was born, it wasn't much of an issue, but it is becoming apparent that Dana is not always able to parent the child appropriately. (She will leave her on a table to get a diaper, doesn't feed her according to schedule and doesn't dress her warmly in cold weather.)

My son takes care of things when he's home, but he works every day. When I think of my own daughter's development, I see that Dana is operating at approximately a middle-teen level even though she's 28. Can you advise what I can do to ensure my granddaughter is safe and secure without making my daughter-in-law feel inadequate? I don't want to seem like a meddling M-I-L. -- LOVES DANA

DEAR LOVES DANA: If Dana would leave the baby on a table while she went to get a diaper, would she also leave the baby in a tub while she went to answer a phone? If you haven't voiced your concerns to your son, please do because your granddaughter could be seriously injured. Parenting classes might help your daughter-in-law, or involving a social worker or arranging for day care for the baby could also solve this problem.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years is calling out another man's name and moving her lips in her sleep. I don't recognize the name and I believe it might be someone she works with. Should I be concerned? -- SLEEPLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR SLEEPLESS: You should be curious, but sleep-talking is not necessarily indicative of romance. If you haven't already, ask her who the man of her dreams is. She could be mumbling the name of an old boyfriend from high school or that of a beloved pet from childhood.

DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.

When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

I am an only child and I don't want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don't know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me. -- ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough -- and this relationship has gone on long enough -- that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.

However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teenager who has liked this guy for a long time. We've been best friends forever, and I have liked him for two years. Recently he asked me out, and I was ecstatic -- at first. I still like him, but every time I think about him or I'm around him, or anything about him comes up, I get this horrible nausea. I have actually vomited because of it. How can I like him but he makes me feel ill? Is there a way to remedy this? -- LOVESICK IN PHOENIX

DEAR LOVESICK: Severe anxiety can cause someone to have the symptoms you have described. It's not unlike the feeling one has when riding a roller coaster. You appear to be suffering from an extreme case of young love, and there is no medication that can cure it. Try to remain calm, and your symptoms should subside over time.

DEAR ABBY: Your column often provides helpful tips to your readers. May I suggest that you remind those who are, or know someone who is, college-bound never to hesitate to apply for as many scholarships as possible -- regardless of how small.

My local conservation association has been giving scholarships for 11 years. Some years we get no applicants! The amounts are $500 and $1,000. This money could pay for books, lab fees or go toward tuition, but we get few applicants. Many fraternal organizations also give out numerous small scholarships. These all add up and can help to reduce the college debt burden we hear so much about.

It's never too soon to start. There are middle school and high school contests, too. Now is the time for students to start their college funds with all the prizes and scholarships they can accumulate. -- HELPING THE NEXT GENERATION

DEAR HELPING: I'm sure many families will thank you for this reminder. Readers, many small scholarships are available -- and the thing to do is talk to your school counselor and research online or at your local library. Indeed, it's never too soon to start looking.