DEAR ABBY: I was taken away from my parents at 13 and placed into foster care, where I stayed until I aged out at 21. My biological mother is a drug addict who abandoned me to my father when I was 11. She never tried to contact me while I was in care.

I am now 24 and she won't leave me alone. She sends Facebook messages that alternate between begging me to let her get to know me, and condemning me for being vindictive and not having forgiveness in my heart. Abby, this woman exposed me to drugs and all manner of seedy people and situations. I was molested and beaten by some of the men she picked up to pay the bills.

Am I a horrible person for ignoring her? I'm close to losing my temper and letting her know exactly how angry I am, but I know it would do no good. I just want to move on with my life and advance in my profession without having to worry about this. What do you think? -- STALKED IN NEW YORK

DEAR STALKED: Silence sends a strong message. I think that when the harassment started, you should have immediately blocked this woman on Facebook. It's not too late to do that now. If she continues to annoy you, consider getting a restraining order.

Because you are on a path to success, allow nothing to divert you.

DEAR ABBY: On March 14 you printed a question from "Jim in New Jersey" who asked if brand-new clothing should be washed before wearing. Having worked in a shirt factory for years, let me tell you how many hands handle the shirt before it goes into that neat little bag.

1. Someone spreads the fabric and lays the pattern.

2. The cutter cuts it.

3. Someone else ties the different parts together.

4. Another person takes the parts to the sewing people.

5. One sewer attaches the pocket to the front.

6. Another sews the yoke to the back.

7. Another sews that back to the front.

8. Another sews in the sleeves.

9. Another sews the side seams.

10. Still another hems the bottom.

11. Another adds the collar.

12. Another sews on the cuffs (if long-sleeved).

13. Someone else sews on the buttons.

14. Another reinforces the buttonholes.

15. An inspector examines the garment for loose threads.

16. An auditor gives it a final check.

17. And finally, someone folds the shirt and puts it into that nice, clean-looking bag.

Don't even ask how many times it may have fallen on the floor -- or if we washed our hands. Abby, I never wear anything until I wash it! -- JOANN IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR JOANN: And neither will I. Thank you!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 59 years old and still take my baseball mitt with me when I go to games in hopes of catching a ball. At what age should a guy stop doing it? (We usually sit in the lower level near the front.) -- MINNESOTA TWINS FAN

DEAR TWINS FAN: Stop taking it when you have grown so aged and feeble that when the ball comes your way, you can no longer fend off the younger fans who are also diving for it. And not one moment sooner.

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed from "Gun-Shy in South Carolina" (March 5), about the antics of her gun-toting, alcoholic father-in-law, caught my attention. I'm a former mental health clinician and program inspector. I discussed that letter with a friend who is a psychiatrist.

"Grandpa" has probably already violated a municipal ordinance regarding discharging a firearm in corporate limits. I agree with you that he has endangered his grandchildren. My friend advised that, according to the local interpretation of mental health statutes, Grandpa might be eligible for involuntary commitment and evaluation in a psychiatric facility. He could be disarmed by the police, if necessary.

"Gun-Shy" should heed her motherly instincts, stay home and refuse to visit Grandpa until he enters treatment. Otherwise there's a high probability that she will mourn the loss of one or more dead children.

Grandpa seems to think that booze and guns make him brave. A brave person is a military medic, a member of the U.S. Coast Guard and the thousands of first responders who demonstrate their bravery by saving human lives, not threatening them. In fact, many Medal of Honor recipients earn the award not by the number of enemies killed, but lives saved. -- RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR RESPONSIBLE: I agree. Some readers felt I should have been tougher in my response, and that Gun-Shy and her children should not visit Grandpa at all. Failure to act on her fears is called child endangerment and could result in the children being taken away. Readers let me have it with both barrels:

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Gun-Shy" was off the mark! As a vet and former law enforcement officer, I think the whole family is in "wimp" mode. For adults to watch a drunk adult fire a gun in the air around his family and not call 911 was ignorant and dangerous. All states have laws about firing guns in the air (illegal), firing guns while drunk (illegal), unsecured loaded weapons (illegal), and firing guns around children in a home environment (illegal). That jerk should have been arrested! -- SMOKEY IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for reminding your readers that when someone shoots a gun into the air, the bullet comes down somewhere. A child near my hometown died last New Year's Eve when she stepped outside with her grandmother to watch the fireworks and a bullet fell to earth and lodged in her brain. The police believe the gun may have been fired from a few miles away. -- CHRISTINA IN MARYLAND

DEAR ABBY: Why didn't you suggest a family intervention for the grandfather's alcoholism? The family could be helped by going to Al-Anon to learn how to detach with love from his disease. Alcoholics need to understand how their drinking affects them and others. Possible estrangement from his grandchildren might be a way to break through his denial. -- STEVE C. IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: My friend Michelle died last July Fourth. She was killed because someone fired a gun into the air. She was beautiful, talented and left behind a fiance, a mother, a sister and many friends. She was receiving her Ph.D., was a brilliant researcher for the CDC and had just picked up her wedding gown. She was the victim of a senseless act caused by someone's carelessness. -- MARSHA IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: My son married a sweet girl three years ago, and I thought we would become a close family. I haven't bothered them at all. Since then, she has become cold and distant to me. My son rarely calls or comes around.

They are expecting their first child soon. I have been left out of all the excitement of the baby. She has not invited me to the baby showers or to see the nursery, etc. I know it's not all about me, but I would like to be included.

My side of the family doesn't seem to matter to her or my son. Because he doesn't stand up for me, I fear I will never get to be close to my grandchild. I don't want to upset them, but how do I handle this? -- SAD GRANDMA-TO-BE

DEAR SAD: Talk to your son about your feelings, and ask if there is a reason for his wife's behavior. Then ask if he wants you to be a part of his child's life, because the way things are going, it doesn't appear to be the case. That you haven't been invited to the baby showers is terrible, but nothing will change until you bring your concerns out into the open.

I'm sad to say your problem isn't unusual, and it usually happens in marriages where the husband is afraid or unwilling to talk about uncomfortable subjects and prefers to avoid confrontation.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widower for 15 years. I had kids at home, so restarting romantic life wasn't a priority after my wife died. Ten years later, I realized I was no longer interested in women, and my love life since then has been with men. While I have never been vocal about it with family and friends, I assume they all probably know.

A couple of months ago, one of my male friends -- much younger than I and from my poker group -- came to my home to take me to lunch. I had always assumed he was gay. I made a pass and ended up seducing him. He was a great sex partner, but he changed his mind about going to lunch afterward. He has never shown up for poker since and no one has heard from him.

I feel bad, but I am not ashamed and I would never say anything that would lead anyone to know what happened. Should I contact my former friend and reassure him? He's a good man and I worry about him. -- MISSING A FRIEND IN MIAMI

DEAR MISSING: The man you seduced may not have been as comfortable with gay sex as you assumed he was. Try to contact him once, but if he wanted to see you again, he wouldn't have disappeared. My advice is to leave it at that because it appears he isn't interested in another round of poker -- or anything else -- with you.

DEAR ABBY: I have discovered that the man I have been seeing for several years has been stealing money from me. There is no question in my mind that it's him. What is the best way to confront him? It breaks my heart, but I need to give him a chance to be honest about this.

I care for him as a person but no longer trust him. I know he's going through a lot right now, but so are a lot of us. Please guide me. I don't do confrontations well. -- USED IN INDIANA

DEAR USED: If you have proof of what he has done, a way to approach it would be to discuss with him in a public place that money has disappeared -- and you would like his "help" in figuring out where it went. Depending upon his response, you may have to take specific action by involving your lawyer, your CPA or the police.