DEAR ABBY: I have written to you before, and your advice served me well. I have another problem now, and I don't know what to do about it.

I am a childless man, but I have owned my dog for 12 years. I work from home and we are together constantly. Honestly, Abby, he is the joy of my life.

My problem is I live in constant fear of losing him. I know it will break my heart, and I'm not sure I can deal with it. At night, when I rub his belly at bedtime and see the love in his eyes, I can't sleep for thinking about the day when he will no longer be with me.

I know he's "just a dog," but he has been my kid for all this time. Do you have any advice for me? -- AFRAID OF THE LOSS

DEAR AFRAID: I understand your feelings. I doubt there is any pet owner who hasn't had one special departed pet who lives on forever in his or her heart.

My advice to you is to not spoil one more precious second you have with your dog by worrying about what will eventually happen. You knew going in that your dog would have a certain life span. That's the "deal" we make when we become animal guardians.

When the time comes, talk to your veterinarian about support groups in which you can share your feelings. And don't be surprised when you find out you are one of many.

DEAR ABBY: I have this co-worker, "Sam," who is no longer performing 100 percent at work. It started shortly after he moved out of town and he was forced to start commuting. Sam complains a lot about the commute because he doesn't allow enough time for it and he ends up being late to work.

Lately I have noticed that he has also started to slack off on his daily tasks. He'll sit down, prepare to do something, then get up and disappear for 20 to 25 minutes. He'll come back for a few minutes, then disappear again. I don't know where he's going. All I know is we generally have to pick up the slack when he gets to the end of his shift and realizes he hasn't accomplished everything.

Is this something I should report to my managers? I feel it's unfair that Sam gets paid for the same amount of time that I do, while I'm doing my work at full capacity and he's putting in less than half. -- FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: If it won't have a negative impact on your job ratings, you and the others on your shift should stop picking up the slack for Sam. It will then become apparent to your managers that he's not doing his share, and he will cook his own goose.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 11, I lived with my dad and stepmom. My 14-year-old brother lived with our grandparents in another town, but they would visit every couple of months.

After one visit, as they were leaving, my grandmother said, "Come here and give your brother a kiss and tell him you love him." My brother and I looked at each other and, in typical kid fashion, said, "YUCK!!"

Abby, I never saw my brother again. He died the next week from a congenital brain aneurism.

It taught me a lesson. The words we say to our loved ones should be sweet, because they may be the last words from us they will ever hear. My brother died 55 years ago and I miss him still. -- STILL MISSING HIM

DEAR STILL MISSING HIM: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. The life lesson you learned from your brother's untimely death was an important one. I am sorry it is one you had to learn at such a tender age.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I invite our friends for dinner quite often, and invitations are always accepted. Recently, I began to notice that we are never invited to some of their homes for dinner.

I know entertaining isn't for everyone, but they do entertain other people -- just not us. I'm not sure why this is. We would never go empty-handed. If we weren't asked to bring a dessert or an appetizer, we would at least bring a bottle of wine to thank our hosts, and I'd help to clear the dishes and straighten the kitchen when the meal is over.

Have you any thoughts as to why an invitation is never extended to us? -- NOT ON THE "A" LIST

DEAR NOT: The problem may be that the couple is embarrassed that they can't entertain you as lavishly as you have entertained them. Or, they may have never been taught that it is rude to accept people's hospitality and not reciprocate in some way. Because they are friends, you should pose this question to them and ask for an honest answer.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years and this is the third time I have caught my wife cheating. I didn't catch her "in the act" because she disguised it behind "vacations with her girlfriends." What happened was I caught her sending some guy nude pictures of herself and lying about having stayed at a friend's house. (She had spent the night with a guy.)

I have remained in this marriage because I wanted to raise all my kids before separating or divorcing. I am leaving eventually, but want to stay four more years to raise my last son.

Is it immoral to lie and pretend like I want to work it out? I feel this is the best way not to damage my children. -- RESPONSIBLE DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR DAD: I don't think you should lie. Instead, talk calmly with your wife and tell her that it's clear to you that she isn't satisfied in the marriage or she wouldn't be doing what she has been doing. You might be able to accomplish what you want with your son through a joint custody arrangement -- or full custody, if your wife wishes. That way, she could live her life as she apparently wants to, and so can you.

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbor lets her two children, a 6-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl, run around naked all the time. This includes playing in her front yard and in the street.

I don't want to seem like a prude or cause problems in the neighborhood, but let's face it -- there are perverts everywhere. At what age is it no longer acceptable for children to be nude in public? -- TAKEN ABACK IN MONTANA

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Children over the age of 3 should not be out in public with no clothes -- and no child should be playing outside that way without supervision. For that matter, clothed or not, for their own safety children should not play in the street.

Your neighbor's lack of attention is irresponsible and inappropriate. If you can't make her see the light, then child protective services should be consulted.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 60s. When I mentioned to a retired friend my desire to move to a Southern state known for economic friendliness toward retirees, I discovered she was thinking the same thing.

We decided it would be good to buy a house together as tenants in common with rights of survivorship, and to share living expenses. Because I have no family and my friend has very little, neither of us cares what the survivor does with the house.

Our main concern is whether or not we're too old to make new friends and start a new life. It sounds exciting, but I'm wondering whether you or your readers have had any experience moving 1,000 miles away at this stage of life. -- CONTEMPLATING CHANGE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR CONTEMPLATING CHANGE: Change can be an exciting and stimulating experience, and many retirees have successfully relocated.

However, and I cannot stress this too strongly, before heading off for the great unknown, you and your friend should consider renting a place for a year. It will give you a chance to gauge your compatibility and learn about the community before locking yourselves in with a mortgage. And if you haven't already, each of you should review your plans with an attorney of your own.

DEAR ABBY: Is it proper for my husband and I to share a meal when dining out with friends? Restaurant portions are quite large and we eat out most nights.

We find sharing is better not only for our health but also for our waistlines. We usually order an appetizer, a salad, an entree, dessert, coffee and a nice bottle of wine. My husband tips 20 percent of the total of the check.

I don't want to offend my friends and I'd like your guidance in this matter. Thank you. -- CAREFUL EATER IN CARMEL, IND.

DEAR CAREFUL EATER: There is nothing rude about suggesting to your dinner companions that you ask the server for separate checks for the reason you stated. And congratulations on managing your portion control, which many health- and diet-conscious people are doing these days. Bon appetit!

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single, successful professional woman who carries her weight in one place -- my belly. Despite many diets and exercise programs, I am unable to lose my belly. Because of this, I'm often mistaken for being pregnant.

Strangers in shopping malls, at professional seminars and in hotels while traveling will ask me when I am due. My usual response is, "I'm not pregnant. I'm just chubby and need to hit the gym." (The other evening, though, I responded, "Not soon enough!")

The last straw was at a recent book signing where the author wrote, "Enjoy your growing life." Any thoughts? -- NOT A BABY BUMP IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR NOT A BABY BUMP: I do have a few. Have you considered wearing a foundation garment? If you already wear one, then I have more suggestions. First, discuss this with your doctor, a nutritionist and a personal trainer. And if they can't help you, talk to a board-certified plastic surgeon about liposuction.