DEAR ABBY: I have acquired two teenage stepsons. They are good young men, mature, responsible, active in community service and good in school and sports.

My challenge is their table manners. They were never taught any! They use their utensils like shop tools, lifting food using fork and knife together to transfer huge bites from plate to mouth. They use a bread knife to cut a pancake as if it were a tough steak. They slouch over the table to get their faces as near the plate as possible, while leaning on the table with one or both elbows. They don't know where to place cutlery when setting the table, and have their napkins in their lap only if a restaurant server discreetly places it there.

Their mother shows no concern about their uncouth manners. I'm worried that when they eventually go out into the world, they'll be perceived as having no class when they are actually nice young men. Their ignorance of table manners could cost them relationships, jobs and promotions. What to do? -- SAN ANTONIO STEPDAD

DEAR STEPDAD: Your wife may have felt she was teaching her sons more important lessons than table manners; things like character and responsibility. However, you have a point. People do make negative judgments about people who have poor table manners -- and it could be detrimental to them in the future.

That's why you should discuss this with their mother, if you haven't already, and enlist her help in talking to the boys in a nonconfrontational way and explaining your concern. In the interest of your relationship with them, this must not seem like you are critical of them, nor should it turn into an adversarial situation or it could have a negative impact on your marriage. If it is to succeed, there must be cooperation from everyone.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 30, and when we have family get-togethers several times a year, it seems like they make a point to leave me out of pictures. My mom and sister lost quite a bit of weight recently, and my brothers and cousin are attractive people. It seems like they're trying to keep the "fat one" out of the photo, and it hurts my feelings.

Recently, a cousin came into town and made copies of two excellent pictures of my mom and sister and posted them online. Again, I was not included. What should I do? I am depressive anyway, and these obvious oversights are upsetting me. -- LEFT OUT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR LEFT OUT: Talk with your mother and sister to confirm if what you suspect is happening is true. It's possible your mother and sister are so proud of their weight loss they want to show it off. (There are ways to pose family members in photographs so their weight isn't apparent.) As to the visiting cousin, there may be such a marked change in their appearance that he/she thought it was worth posting on the Internet.

A problem with depression is that quietly brooding solves nothing, and it often causes people to overeat. Because your depression is chronic, please consider discussing it with your health care provider because interventions are available.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend off and on for nine years. When I moved to San Francisco, we separated for a year, until he decided he wanted to move here.

He has been miserable and depressed since he came. He misses his family and friends. His salary doesn't go as far here, so he's always short of money. He has also had a string of bad luck -- speeding tickets, car repairs, a stolen bike and a back injury. He says he'll move back east soon if things don't get better, and it's making me anxious. He does nothing to turn around his problems.

How can I help him realize it takes time for a new city to feel like home and lessen my anxiety over his problems? -- ANXIOUS IN THE BAY AREA

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your boyfriend does not appear to be anywhere near as adaptable as you are. You didn't mention how long he has been in California, but if it's longer than six months and he's still homesick, you may have a life-changing decision ahead of you. Would you rather live "in his world than live without him in" ... San Francisco? Even if your heart's in San Francisco, his does not appear to be.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nearly a year and I recently said "I love you" for the first time. Before he said it (he said it first) he told me he doesn't want to start saying it "all the time" -- wherein lies my dilemma. How often is too often? Do I say it every night before bed or only on special occasions?

Please help because I'm confused, and I'm worrying that I'm hurting him because I haven't said it since that night four days ago. I don't want to smother him or make him feel uncomfortable. -- HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

DEAR HOW MUCH: Not everyone is comfortable with verbal declarations of love, and your boyfriend may be one of them. Love is spontaneous, it's a feeling -- not a mathematical formula. Only your boyfriend can tell you how often is too often for him.

However, if you are sharing a bed, you should be able to express yourself fully whenever you climb into it -- and his reaction should be positive (if not reciprocal) when you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am far from flat-chested (I'm a happy B-cup), but you wouldn't call me "well-endowed." My question is, why is it that friends and family members who have larger breasts constantly ask me if I would like some of theirs? I think it's rude and, quite frankly, embarrassing. I would never turn the tables and say, "I'm feeling a little skinny. Could I have some of your fat?" What do I say when asked? -- PERFECTLY FINE IN EVANSTON, WYO.

DEAR PERFECTLY FINE: A few responses come to mind; none that I'd print in a family newspaper. My advice is to keep it simple and nonconfrontational. Smile and say, "No thanks, I'm happy just the way I am!"

P.S. In my opinion, a B-cup is well-endowed.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law had an affair with a co-worker and is now pregnant by him. She swears she loves my son and won't leave him, but insists that her lover be a part of the baby's life. My son is torn. They have two small children and he doesn't want to break up the family. How can he continue to trust her?

My husband refuses to have her in our house. She can be vindictive to those she feels have "wronged" her, and I'm afraid she'll keep us from the grandchildren. My son used to go to church before she came along, but they no longer go. We sought legal advice for him and he knows the score in that regard. Abby, how can we make him see this woman is no good for him? -- HEAVY-HEARTED MOTHER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTHER: If I were you, I'd stop trying. Your son has made his choice, which is to keep his family together. If that means accepting that his wife will maintain a relationship with her lover and, in essence, her baby will have "two daddies," that's the way it's going to be. While I understand your husband's anger, as long as your son is willing to tolerate the situation, there is nothing to be gained by banning your daughter-in-law from the premises.

Because you mentioned church, pray for the strength to support your son through this because he's going to need it. I'm sure he is fully aware that his wife isn't "good" for him, but he's trying to take the high road anyway. So try to be supportive.

DEAR ABBY: I met a woman who seems to be everything I have been looking for. We have similar interests and share many of the same goals.

My problem is I'm only 5 foot 9 and she's 6 feet tall. Am I foolish for feeling like less of a man when in her company? What will people think? -- NOT SO TALL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NOT SO TALL: If you would allow a 3-inch difference in height to keep you from pursuing a woman who "seems to be everything you're looking for," then you are foolish.

Being taller than a woman doesn't make a man more manly. What makes a man manly is his level of self-confidence, which you appear to lack. Until you understand and accept that what other people think is their problem, I'm not sure you'll find the happiness you're looking for.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl who's involved with social media. My parents have always been protective. A few days ago they asked me for the passwords to my Twitter, Facebook and email accounts. I understand they're trying to protect me, but the fact that they don't trust me by now is upsetting.

I tried telling them this, and they say they do trust me, but they still want my passwords. Is this a contradiction? I need some independence, and they don't seem to understand that. -- LOSING MY MIND IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR LOSING YOUR MIND: It's not a contradiction if you read some of the news coverage on the Internet about young people who have committed suicide because they were hounded by cyber-bullies. It's not a contradiction if you consider that sometimes bad things happen at parties that aren't properly supervised. If, God forbid, you should "disappear," your parents -- and the police -- would want to know who had been communicating with you and what was said.

Please do not overreact to their concern. While it would have been better if they had given you a reason for their request, I doubt they'll be reading over your shoulder. Most parents don't spend a lot of time doing that unless they have some reason to mistrust their teenager.