DEAR ABBY: You gave some nice advice to "Afraid of the Loss" (June 25), who wrote concerning the impending death of a beloved pet. I think your suggestion of a support group is helpful, but having lost a pet I had for 16 years, I have experienced the deep pain this man will feel.

Adding a second pet to his home while his pet is still alive often energizes an older pet. When the time comes, it will help the human to have another loving pet to help with the grieving.

As I learned, only time was able to take the deep hurt to a place where I could think of him without tears. Keeping the ashes of a pet can be comforting, whether you choose to bury them later or tuck them away in your home.

Most important is having a plan for when that moment comes so you automatically know what needs to be done. It really helped to have all the details of his final moments thought out so I felt in control.

I wouldn't have missed the love of my dog even knowing the pain that has to come in the end. It's something that should be on everyone's bucket list. -- CATHY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CATHY: My thanks to you and all the readers who sent heartfelt letters supporting "Afraid." It's easy to see why dogs are called man's best friend because of all the love, affection, entertainment and companionship they give us, and why we only want the best for them in this life and after. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your pet is your child. Anyone who doesn't understand that isn't worth worrying about when the loss occurs. Will it hurt? Of course. But the pain does ease in time.

When my first dog died, I spoke with a grief counselor at the local veterinary college. It didn't make my pain disappear, but it helped me to understand it more. Your pet does not live in the future, but in the moment. Enjoy every moment you have together and accept the unconditional love your pet has given you. You will get through it. -- DEB IN BELMONT, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: Having shared the love of many pets over the years, I have found that dealing with the loss of our furry friends never gets easier, no matter how many times you go through it. I just reflect on all the cherished times I shared with them, and I know I did my best to make their lives grand. I know I'm better off for having shared their company.

Having rescued all of my past and current pets from shelters, I saved them from an uncertain life. I gave them a loving home with affection, stability and a warm bed. While they all leave us at some point, their memory lives on in our hearts.

I think Irving Townsend said it best: "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan." -- FOUR PAWS FATHER

DEAR ABBY: "Afraid of the Loss" is not alone. Anyone who has known the love of a dog knows the fear of losing that unmatched companionship.

When my dog was reaching the end of his lifespan, a fellow dog-lover advised me to get a puppy. I'm passing her advice along to "Afraid." Get a puppy or go to the shelter and adopt a dog -- any dog. You will save the dog, and the dog will save you right back. -- MONIQUE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter confided that she has become sexually involved with her boyfriend and asked if I would buy condoms for her. I agreed that she should protect herself and bought her a box of 12.

A week later, she informed me that she needed another 12-pack. When I asked why she had run out so quickly, she confessed that she has been supplying them to her girlfriends. Apparently they can't confide in their moms the way she can with me.

My dilemma is that condoms are expensive and, on one hand, I don't want to be the one supplying a group of kids. On the other hand, if I can help to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, maybe it's worth it. What do you think I should do? -- SAFE SEX ADVOCATE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SAFE SEX ADVOCATE: If your daughter's friends are old enough to be sexually active, they and their boyfriends should also be responsible enough to provide their own birth control. Generally, teens do not need the permission of their parents to receive information about it. Because you want to help them avoid unwanted pregnancies (as well as STDs), direct them to the nearest Planned Parenthood Center for low-cost or no-cost birth control and instruction on how to use it. There are 18 of these health centers in Illinois. To find the one closest to you, visit plannedparenthood.org.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three wonderful girls. The problem is my husband thinks the way to make them love him is by allowing them everything I don't. I'll give you some examples:

I don't let the girls eat anywhere except at the table, so my husband brings treats into the family room. I try to limit high-sugar/fat items like chips and candy, which he buys for them on a regular basis. I also try to adhere to a regular bedtime schedule, while he thinks nothing of stretching lights-out to an hour or more later.

Then he complains that the girls won't listen to him, so I must be in charge of the discipline. While this makes him Fun Daddy in our house, it makes me ... MEAN MOMMY IN OHIO

DEAR MOMMY: It appears you're not just raising three wonderful girls, but also coping with an immature, overgrown boy. Parenthood is supposed to be a united, consistent partnership, a team effort. Your husband is sabotaging you and ignoring that one of the responsibilities of parenthood is establishing rules and limits that children should live with.

Your husband needs parenting classes, and if that's not possible, some sessions with a child behavior expert who can explain the consequences of what he's doing to his daughters in the name of being "Fun Daddy." From my perspective, there isn't anything funny about it. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I work at a senior retirement community, and the residents have a Halloween party each year. In the past, there were prizes for the three best costumes. However, last year they stopped giving prizes because one of the residents is a professional artist and costume maker, and the association felt it would be unfair to the others to have him compete.

This year it was decided not to hold the contest at all. The residents are disappointed. How can they continue to have the costume contest and include the professional? -- DRESSED UP IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DRESSED UP: Ask the artist/costume designer to be the judge.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old girl in my third semester of college. My boyfriend, "Tom," attends a community college nearby. Both of us live with our parents. I have had only three boyfriends in my life, and Tom was my high school sweetheart.

Tom just proposed. I immediately accepted, but now I'm second-guessing my decision. We're just starting our adult lives, and I'm still learning what that entails. I want to study abroad during college to enhance my experience of the world. Also, because neither of us has ever moved beyond our childhood homes, I think we should both have more exposure about the world beyond.

Everyone is supportive of us, including our parents. I will always be committed to Tom and I trust him completely, but I feel that by prematurely locking ourselves in, we're setting ourselves up for failure. Am I overreacting? -- FLEDGLING FIANCEE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR FIANCEE: Not at all. The points you have made in your letter are well-reasoned. You are very young to be making a permanent commitment, and you're both entering a period of growth -- and possible divergence in your level of life experience. Tom may have proposed because he was afraid if he didn't, he might lose you now that you're attending different schools.

Tell Tom you care for him deeply, but think you jumped the gun. Make it clear that you would like to keep seeing him, but on a nonexclusive basis until you return from your studies abroad. I agree that by prematurely locking yourselves in, the odds of the relationship not lasting are high. Be sure Tom understands that you aren't trying to end the relationship, only postponing the engagement.

DEAR ABBY: I was always a laid-back and easygoing person. But I was in a terrible car accident, and ever since I have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. I have received counseling and function pretty well as long as I remain in a calm environment.

My problem is that my husband's family comes to visit each year for anywhere from four to eight days, and when they're here my stress level is very high. Their last three visits resulted in my getting migraine headaches, which I had never experienced before, as well as TMJ (pain in my jaw) and painful neuropathy, which the doctor explained was brought on by stress. It has lasted two months.

I like my in-laws, but I am unwilling to deal with more pain as a result of their visits. My husband doesn't want to send them to a hotel, which I understand. Therefore, I feel that since this is my problem, I should move to a hotel during their visits. What do you think, Abby? -- PUSHED TO THE LIMIT

DEAR PUSHED: Unless this is handled delicately -- and by that I mean carefully explained to your husband's family -- it could cause hurt feelings. Surely your in-laws are aware of your car accident. What they may not be aware of is the lingering damage it has caused. Your husband should explain this to his relatives and ask if they would mind staying elsewhere because of your medical condition.

If you can tolerate their "tumult" on a limited basis, this might solve the problem. If not, then I agree you should stay elsewhere so they can have a good time together. However, this should happen with full disclosure and preferably no hard feelings. If you can see any of them individually for a short time, you should make every effort so they won't feel you are avoiding them for any other reason.