DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together.

During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We're not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears. -- CAUGHT IN A PANIC

DEAR CAUGHT: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what you'll be wearing to a costume party. It's plausible.

However, when someone is "caught" engaging in a private activity once -- that's an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can't help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.

If you're not aware, a resource, The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency, and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend's husband has been texting me. When he did it the first time, he had been drinking and my friend was asleep. Some of the things he said made me uncomfortable, but I also didn't like that he said his wife didn't know what he was doing. He stopped after I told him I was uncomfortable with it.

Now he has started up again, offering support because my mother passed away recently. I am honestly not sure whether he's trying to be a good friend or if he's looking for something more, and that scares me. I don't want to start trouble between my friend and her husband, especially because they seem so happy together. Any ideas on how to handle this? -- UNSETTLED IN OHIO

DEAR UNSETTLED: Yes. Your friend's husband may be a genuinely sympathetic person -- or he could be trying to take advantage of you while you're emotionally vulnerable. Listen to your gut. Tell him you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but you already have a support system in place and are receiving all of the emotional support you need.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old cousin died in 2010, and I'm still hurting. I have tried to get over it, but we were really close. When I walk the halls at school, I hear people say bad things about him. When I bring his name up, no one has anything good to say about him. It seems like they don't really care that he was my cousin and I loved him.

How can I ask these people not to say bad things about him? -- HURTING IN INDIANA

DEAR HURTING: Because people forget that the young man who died was your relative, feel free to remind them. All you need to say is: "You know, he was my cousin and we were close. I still miss him, and I wish you wouldn't say things like that about him when I'm around."

Losing a relative at any age is hard, but when the person is young, it can be even harder. Because you are still hurting and it has been three years, consider talking about this with a school counselor or joining a grief support group. Your clergyperson can help you locate one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm never happy with just one partner. It's not that I want to go out and have a different man every night of the week -- just some options. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship, so seeing other men is OK. But my boyfriend is now asking me why I feel the way I do because he is considering becoming monogamous again.

I crave something different from man to man and seek whatever the other one doesn't have. I have been with my fair share of guys, yet there doesn't seem to be one person who has all the qualities I need in my life. Should I just stay single and noncommittal forever? -- FICKLE IN FORT WAYNE

DEAR FICKLE: Perhaps not forever, but for now, yes, until you meet someone who has more of the qualifications you're looking for. When you do, you may finally realize that in successful relationships some degree of compromise is always involved.

DEAR ABBY: I recently married a wonderful woman I have been friends with for years. I was always secretly in love with her. We are very happy together.

The only problem is that her ex-husband, from whom she has been divorced for four years, was violent. If I try to brush her hair away from her face or make a sudden movement of any kind, she flinches or panics.

I have never been violent with anyone, and I know she has PTSD from her past marriage. How should I sensitively broach the subject of counseling to deal with this serious issue? -- CONCERNED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CONCERNED: When it happens again, tell your wife calmly that you know it's a reflex and see if you can get her to tell you why it happens. At that point you could suggest she talk to a counselor because you love her and would never hurt her, and when she flinches, it hurts you that she's still carrying around this heavy baggage.

DEAR ABBY: I am 25. My husband is 50, and we have been married for three years. We are in a healthy relationship, raise his 12-year-old together and are trying for our own children. We have plans for the rest of our lives, are in good health, have regular checkups, and our life insurance and estate planning are in order.

But, Abby, sometimes I find myself worrying about his age. I cry when I contemplate spending a chunk of my life alone because I don't think I could ever love anyone else as strongly as I do him. My husband is my rock, my reason for living, and I'm grateful for every moment I have with him.

I'm psychologically well otherwise. These sad feelings don't last longer than a few hours. Is this normal? Should I talk with someone about it? Should I just tell my husband my feelings and remind him how much he means to me? -- HAPPILY MARRIED IN HENDERSON, NEV.

DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: Your feelings are normal for a woman who is fully invested emotionally in her husband. However, if your anxiety over the possibility of losing him increases, by all means talk to a licensed mental health professional about it.

As to your last question, whether you should confide your feelings to him, it would be a beautiful compliment to let him know you don't take his importance in your life for granted or the joy he has brought you. But don't be surprised if, when he hears you say it, he says the same thing back to you. You both are truly blessed.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, after 24 years of marriage, I finally summoned the nerve to take my teenage daughter and leave my emotionally abusive husband. We are both thriving now.

I have been in therapy, lost almost 45 pounds and have rediscovered my self-confidence all over again. A friend I have known for more than 10 years has expressed interest in dating me. I like him very much, but I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to date yet. What do you think? -- TENTATIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR TENTATIVE: Tempting as this is, proceed with caution. When a person has been emotionally starved for a long time, then begins to feel attractive, accepted and validated again, the result can be euphoria -- a powerful "high." Right now you need to be rational.

What I think about your dating this man is less important than what your therapist thinks right now. Please make this question a priority during your next sessions because the insight you'll gain into yourself will help you not only in a relationship with this man -- if you decide to have one -- but in future ones as well.

DEAR ABBY: My 86-year-old dad buys all his food from the markdown "quick sale" tables, then lets it sit in the fridge for weeks or even months before he eats it. He insists the mold is penicillin and good for you. He eats moldy cheese, bread, fruit and meat I wouldn't feed to my dogs. He has a turkey in the freezer that expired in 2008, and he can't understand why I won't cook it for my pets.

Dad reads your column every day, so please give me some input. By the way, he isn't poor and can afford good, fresh food. -- PERPLEXED DAUGHTER IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PERPLEXED DAUGHTER: Your father is a product of his upbringing during the Great Depression, a time when many people were starving. The habits people form when they are young can be hard to shake.

One reason that perishable products have a "sell by" date is that the food begins to lose its nutritional value. As to your father's excuse that he's ingesting "penicillin" when he eats moldy fruits, vegetables, baked goods and dairy products -- I'm sure his doctor would prefer he get it by prescription only.

Spoiled food can cause serious illness, which is why the U.S. government publishes pamphlets on the important topic of food safety. Visit www.foodsafety.gov and print out some of the "Food Safety at a Glance" charts for him. If he refuses to take your advice and mine, perhaps he'll be more receptive to what Uncle Sam has to say.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, "Jesse," has suddenly changed. He's pushing me away. We are both 17 and have a 9-month-old baby.

Jesse spent the first six months of our son's life in state custody. Since he has been back, he has been really distant. He ignores me and isn't affectionate anymore. When I get upset about it, he denies it and says I have no reason to be upset.

I'm scared our relationship isn't as strong as I thought. My son deserves a family, but it's falling apart. What should I do? -- TROUBLED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TROUBLED: You have no idea what might have happened to Jesse after he was sent away, so give him some space, but let him know that if he wants to talk about it, you are willing to listen and be supportive. Don't push and don't be clingy. You may have to be strong for all three of you. Complete your education, take parenting classes, and encourage Jesse to do it, too. Do this and your son will have a family, whether or not it's the one you thought you'd have with Jesse.