DEAR ABBY: May I address a question you printed on July 24? "Where Are the Good Guys?" has trouble meeting men and wrote about seeking sexual partners on Craigslist. You answered that there were no good men there.

Well, I met my boyfriend of two years through a "no strings attached" ad I posted on Craigslist. It turns out we had a strong attraction and chemistry, and he's one of my best friends. So what if we were adults who wanted a casual relationship to start with? Don't judge everyone that way.

The reason that woman is having problems is she's using the site to find sex partners when she really wants more. She needs to look in the "relationship" section or on a relationship site. Don't blame men for wanting to have sex when that's what she's advertising. They aren't all "bad." They are actually more truthful than she is. -- HAPPILY COUPLED IN OMAHA

DEAR HAPPILY COUPLED: I heard from many readers who described successful relationships that started online. I did not mean to imply that there are no good men on Craigslist. My concern was the writer was looking for a meaningful, lasting relationship in a category where people look for casual sex. Others identified with "W.A.T.G.G.'s" problem and were quick to offer their views:

DEAR ABBY: I'm a female, 59, and like the woman in that letter, also not considered beautiful. But I do have two very good men friends in my life, and I met them both online.

There are men of quality out there. You just have to be careful and read between the lines. Abby, online personals are the new "bar scene." -- DONNA IN MISSOURI

DEAR ABBY: While I agree with you that she should talk to a psychologist about her low self-esteem, it is possible to find a true partner online if you are dedicated and serious. I subscribed to a dating service 3 1/2 years ago and met a wonderful woman on the site. We are married now and expecting our first baby. -- HAPPY HUSBAND IN MIAMI

DEAR ABBY: "Where Are the Good Guys?" says she's "not beautiful by any means," and that means meeting good guys won't happen. That is so not the case!

I was a homecoming queen and have always been attractive, but many of the men I dated married plainer women because they were looking for wife-and-mother types and not a high-maintenance beauty queen. You don't meet the "right" men because of your looks; you meet them in the right places where you have common interests -- church, volunteer work and all the other places that Dear Abby keeps telling folks about! -- RUTH IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: When I was younger, I had problems with low self-esteem and also engaged in a series of meaningless relationships. From past experience, I strongly encourage this lady to have herself checked for STDs if she had unprotected sex with any of these men. Making sure you protect your health is a major step in learning to love and care for yourself. Also, when Mr. Right does come along, she won't have to worry about her health status hanging over her head. -- HAVE REALLY BEEN THERE IN DENVER

DEAR ABBY: I'm a "good guy," and there are many other guys like me. If she would put in the time and effort to talk to one of us, get to know us, she will find what she's looking for. I am so sick of women saying they want a nice guy and then running in the opposite direction. Her words say one thing, but her actions say something else. -- OUT HERE WAITING IN CLEVELAND

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend, "Jose," for a year. Before that, we were friends for five years. Ever since I've known him, he and his half-sister, "Blanca," have danced together at parties. We're all in our mid-20s.

They dance salsa, merengue and other styles of music together. I used to think it was cute, but now that Jose and I are a couple, I find it annoying and a little creepy. He says Blanca loves to dance and can't always find good partners.

She gets mad when he dances with me instead of her during her favorite songs. I told Jose he can dance only with me at the parties or only with her. Not both. I don't want to share him, and honestly, people joke that it's incestuous.

How can I make him understand how much this bothers me? What can I say to his half-sister when she gives me the evil eye? My relationship with her is friendly, but it was better before I started dating her half-brother. -- TAKES ONLY TWO TO TANGO

DEAR TAKES ONLY TWO: If you want to hang onto Jose, simmer down and be less heavy-handed. Dictating who he can dance with only makes you appear to be jealous, insecure and controlling.

Because he and Blanca have danced together for so long, it's understandable that she expects to dance with him. My advice is to be gracious and hold onto your temper, because if you don't, your relationship with Blanca will no longer be friendly, and it could cost you your boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a good person, but she never wants to be around us or our children. She lives only 30 minutes away, has only one child (my husband) and has been widowed for more than five years. She has never called our house, didn't visit when the kids were born and usually mails gift cards at birthdays and Christmas.

My own mother died a few months ago. Our kids are almost 13 and 10, so they're not babies anymore. I try to reach out to her, but she is cold and not responsive. What else can I do? -- NO GRANDMA IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR NO GRANDMA: What does your husband think about this? Has his mother always been this way? Could the problem be that she dislikes you or is disappointed in her son?

There is no way to force a connection on someone who is unwilling, and I'm not sure you would even want to. It appears your mother-in-law isn't maternal and prefers her independence. I'm sorry that your feelings are hurt, but if you crave closeness with an older woman, you will have to look elsewhere to find it.

DEAR ABBY: My family is having a Thanksgiving conundrum. My uncle and his wife have offered to host the holiday. My uncle hesitated about having it because he recently lost his job. My grandmother decided that each couple should chip in $50 to pay for the dinner. (The total amount will be $300.) We will all make and bring dishes with us as well. Their children are not being asked to pay anything.

My grandmother thinks this is a good idea because it would cost us more than $50 to go out to dinner for Thanksgiving, but some of us think it's odd that we're being charged to attend our family's dinner. No one else in the family is able or willing to host, so the only other option would be going to a restaurant. Any thoughts? -- TURKEY TROUBLES IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR TURKEY TROUBLES: Just this -- pay up! And while you're offering thanks at the dinner table, be grateful that the person in need of financial help this holiday season isn't you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have the same argument every year around Thanksgiving. He says there is a difference between stuffing and dressing. I say they're the same thing, except that stuffing is baked in the turkey, while dressing is baked separately in a casserole dish.

My husband insists I'm wrong -- that the difference has nothing to do with how it's cooked. He thinks stuffing is made with regular bread, while dressing is made with cornbread.

The debate is driving me crazy. Will you please tell me who is right? -- STUFFING VS. DRESSING IN OHIO

DEAR STUFFING VS. DRESSING: The terms "dressing" and "stuffing" are interchangeable. They refer to a seasoned mixture used to stuff meat or poultry. It makes no difference what kind of bread is used.

Some tips: If you plan to stuff your turkey, be sure all the ingredients are pre-cooked (i.e. vegetables, fruit, meat, seafood). Using pasteurized liquid eggs is safer than using raw eggs. The bird should be loosely stuffed, not packed because stuffing expands while cooking, and the turkey should be stuffed right before it is put into the oven, never ahead of time.

The stuffing takes the longest of the bird's components to reach the desired safe temperature (165 degrees). Once the stuffing is in the turkey, it should not be removed until the turkey is ready to be carved.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have lived here for 20 years, and so have our lovely, gracious and caring neighbors. We haven't had any new neighbors for years -- until now.

My husband has met the couple in passing, but I haven't yet. There has been a lot of activity over there, what with moving in, etc. As a neighbor, when and how should I approach them and offer my welcome to the neighborhood? Should I bring them something? If so, what's the best thing? -- KATE IN QUINCY, MASS.

DEAR KATE: I can tell by your question that the folks in your neighborhood are indeed "lovely, gracious and caring." The first thing you should bring the new neighbors is a warm smile. And it wouldn't hurt if along with it you brought a plate of edible treats and an offer to refer them to the nearest market, dry cleaner, your shoe repair shop and a reliable plumber.

DEAR ABBY: My dad came into my room and told me he and my mom were having problems -- that they were thinking about getting divorced. I can't imagine living without them or having to choose who I want to live with. Every child needs her mother, but Dad is the one who has always been there for me. Should I just live with my grandparents and see how that works out? What should I do? -- BAFFLED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BAFFLED: It was wrong of your father to talk to you about this before anything had been decided between him and your mother. I realize that my telling you not to worry about this would do no good because being upset is perfectly natural in these circumstances. Your father may have spoken prematurely, so keep that in mind.

You should talk to both of your parents about this. If you are close to your grandparents, discuss it with them, too, since you feel you might like to live with them to avoid hurting either parent.