DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are a young couple, married almost two years. He recently told me he isn't happy with me anymore and that he may want to leave. He won't tell me why. He says he doesn't know why.

It was a complete shock to me. He refuses to seek marriage counseling and has dealt with a lot of depression for which he won't seek help, either. We have a child, and I am now pregnant again. It hasn't changed his thoughts about leaving.

What should I do for myself and our children? What can I do to help my husband change his mind? I'm still deeply in love with him. -- CONFUSED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR CONFUSED: I can only imagine how painful this must be for you. Because your husband won't see a counselor about your marriage or do anything about his depression, then you should. And when you do, start figuring out a "plan B" for how you will support your children if it becomes necessary. You should also consult an attorney who can help you ensure that your husband lives up to his responsibilities if he does decide to leave.

The reason for your husband's ambivalence will become apparent in time. You may love him deeply, but for your sake and that of your children, it's important you stay calm and rational.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl, turning 18 soon. Ever since I started high school, my family has pressured me to do my best in everything I do. Some examples: my grades, having the perfect boyfriend and being first in sports.

I know they want the best for me. But I'm a human being. I sometimes make mistakes. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint them. What should I do? Should I tell them to get off my back or continue to accept their pressure? -- TEEN IN TURMOIL, TULSA, OKLA.

DEAR TEEN: Your parents probably push you because they want you to get a college education. Good grades, various activities and a talent for sports can make you a more attractive candidate.

There are ways to tell your parents to ease up without saying, "Get off my back." Your message might be better received if you said to them what you wrote to me: "I know you want what's best for me. I don't want to disappoint you. But I'm a human being and I sometimes make mistakes. I love you, but the pressure is getting to me." It's not hostile, and they may hear what you're saying without becoming defensive.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law is a registered sex offender. I am uncomfortable having him stay at our house with my husband and me and our children. My mother-in-law insists we need to forgive him and let him stay. I hate putting my husband in the middle (it is his sister's husband), but I do not want him under our roof overnight.

Am I right to refuse, or do I let him stay and be on major guard? -- MOMMY IN MEMPHIS

DEAR MOMMY: As a mother, it is your job to protect your children. Because you feel your brother-in-law might be a danger to them, he should sleep elsewhere -- and "forgiveness" has nothing to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, "Clint," recently brought a large framed picture of his deceased wife into our home. He placed it on his dresser in front of framed photos of us together.

His wife died three years ago. We are living together in a condo Clint bought for me. He made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want to move me into "her house."

Clint also still wears his wedding ring. He carries guilt and doesn't seem to have made closure. I told him I don't feel comfortable with her picture "looking at us." He doesn't think there should be a problem. Should I move on? -- IN THE SHADOWS

DEAR IN THE SHADOWS: That Clint still wears his wedding ring tells me he may not have accepted his wife's death. How sad for him.

Ask him to move his wife's picture to a room other than the bedroom because, while he doesn't think it's creating a problem, it is creating one for you. If he can't bring himself to do that -- and join a grief support group -- then you should consider moving on.

DEAR ABBY: Enough with the problems! It's time you printed a positive letter.

I'm an active, friendly senior who lives alone, but I'm not lonely. I have many friends of all ages and a devoted family. Why? Because as I traveled through many states during my life, I reached out to people along the way.

The saying, "If you want a friend, be a friend," is true. If we want friends, we can't sit back and wait for people to come to us. Smile, speak up, pay a sincere compliment -- just communicate! If you do, the majority of people will respond positively.

I socialize with people my age in church circles, card clubs and dining-out groups who can't understand why I'm always so busy. They don't reach out except to people they already know. As people get older, that group is constantly shrinking. Join a religious group, community clubs and organizations. Volunteer to read at schools and libraries. Visit a senior group or center.

Many people of all ages fear they won't be accepted. But if they show up with a friendly attitude, they will be. You have to contribute -- whether it's with a smile, an opening remark or some other welcoming gesture.

I served in the military, taught Sunday school, led Girl Scouts, garden clubs, church and neighborhood groups while following my husband through eight states and raising three children. My husband was often away in his business, but we had a strong, supportive marriage. He joined me in many activities when he could be home.

I think many people have forgotten we must give in order to get. When we reach out to others, most of the time those people reach back. -- NOT LONELY IN WOODSTOCK, ILL.

DEAR NOT LONELY: It's easy to see why you have a wide circle of friends. Your positive energy leaps off the page.

There are two types of people in the world: those who come into a room and their attitude says, "Here I am!" and those who come into a room and their attitude says, "There you are!" You are one of the latter. If people want a warm welcome, they should keep in mind that the happier they are to see others, the happier others will be to see them.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the letter from "Family First in Florida" (Nov. 3), it's no wonder her son and daughter-in-law want some peace and quiet when their new baby arrives. Grandma-to-be appears controlling, entitled and someone who will be more of an endurance test than a helping presence. They are right to set kind, yet firm, boundaries with her.

I wanted privacy during and after childbirth, and I'm grateful my mom and MIL respected our wishes. I needed time to establish a nursing routine, heal and get to know my baby before I was ready to host overnight guests.

My kids' grandmas both have strong, loving relationships with their grandkids, so please remind "Family First" she's not missing out on anything. She'll still get to be a doting granny, but for now she should back off and remember the arrival of the child is not about her. -- EXPERIENCED MOM IN OMAHA

DEAR MOM: I'm pleased everything worked out well for you. That woman's letter hit a nerve with my readers. A sampling of their comments:

DEAR ABBY: I had the same vision of being there when my grandkids were born. However, my kids have not involved me the way I imagined.

"Family First's" son is putting his family first, as he should. He and his wife have chosen what they feel will make the smoothest, least-stressful launch for their new family, and he is protecting that plan. If she doesn't respect her son's right to make that decision, she risks jeopardizing her future relationship with him, his wife and the grandkids.

The essence of a mother's love is sacrifice. It's time to put aside her dreams and help her son fulfill his. -- SUZIE IN OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: The new parents are greatly misinformed about the importance of having grandparents around just before and immediately after the birth of a new baby. It helps to have a family member in the waiting room to update other family and well-wishers so Dad can devote full attention to the new mom and baby.

My mother was a godsend, taking care of everything while we bonded with our child. She did the cooking, the chores, and gave us needed breaks during the day so we were able to tolerate night feedings. When our second child arrived, she helped with our older one.

Childbirth is difficult. I don't think this new mom realizes she won't be able to do it all. -- SHANA IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ABBY: Has "Family First" considered that her daughter-in-law's mother may be coming? Unfair as it may seem, in cultures around the world, the role of the paternal grandmother is far different than that of the maternal grandmother. -- KNOWS FOR SURE IN KENYA

DEAR ABBY: My son and DIL told everyone, including the other grandparents, who live near them, they wanted no visitors for at least six weeks. That sad grandma needs to brush up on her Skype and Facetime skills so she can see them frequently on her computer and phone. We do this with our kids.

In the first year, the baby learned our voices and saw our faces often. When we met again, it was like we'd always been there. -- COMPUTER GRANNY

DEAR ABBY: While she isn't invited to be there for the birth of her first grandchild, I'm sure her son and DIL will be begging her to come for the next one. After a week of no sleep, they are going to wish they had told her yes this time! -- GRANNY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: When I declined my mother-in-law's offer to help out when my son was born, she paid to have a catering service deliver daily three-course dinners for two weeks so I wouldn't have to cook. It was the best gift I ever received, and I love her for it! -- LISA IN NORTH CAROLINA