DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who recently turned 21, sent me a two-word text message, "I'm pregnant." She has been dating a marijuana-smoking young man for less than a year, and I'm disappointed by this outcome.

Her sister, who is a year older, already has two children by two men. No, they weren't raised by a harlot. I adopted them when they were early elementary-aged children. It's not my fault. I'm disgusted by their choices.

I haven't talked with her yet. I won't try to lecture her or tell her how she should live her life. The time for that is over. I feel it would be best to say nothing if I can't be positive. Suggestions? -- DISGUSTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DISGUSTED: It would be better if you said nothing to your daughter while you are angry, or you may say something you will regret. It would not be out of line, however, to text her back and ask, "How do you and 'John' plan to support the baby?" If you don't plan to help her in any way, you should let her know now that she'll be on her own.

DEAR ABBY: Our 13-year-old is addicted to her phone. She stays on it for hours, and it's affecting the time she goes to bed. She's now starting to oversleep the alarm in the morning before school.

She's spoiled, and I'm afraid that removing or limiting phone privileges will lead to major problems with her protesting it. I don't want truant officers or social workers coming to my house because my wife and I can't discipline our kid.

How do you handle a spoiled brat without involving outside agencies? She's nice to people in school, but is lazy at home and totally self-centered. -- FRUSTRATED, EXHAUSTED DAD

DEAR DAD: You and your wife created this "monster," and now it's your job to make things right. Of course your daughter won't like it when you set rules, but you must establish some for her before your lack of parenting causes even more serious problems.

Set the rules and stick with them. If she won't follow them, there should be penalties for not doing so. Try this: Start with homework. When it's done, she can have her phone for a period of time. Inform her that if she oversleeps because she was up too late on her phone, you will take it at bedtime. And then follow through.

DEAR ABBY: I'm about to be 17 and just started living with my mom after being a runaway for three months. During that time, I made friends with people who were not good for me. However, I still feel I need to cling to these people and be there for them.

As I write this, one of the girls I was closest to is in prison and will be there for a long time. I have to pretend to be fine and act as if I don't care for her, but I do, desperately. My mom refuses to be understanding and talk about anything with me. I don't know what to do. -- TEEN IN LITTLE ROCK

DEAR TEEN: Your mother appears to belong to the ostrich school of parenting. If she doesn't hear something, it doesn't exist. Clearly, you do need to talk with someone about the feelings you're experiencing and why you feel the need to "cling to these people." Because your mother can't/won't do this, it's important that you talk to a counselor at school and ask for the help you need.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Chad," proposed two months ago, but he didn't ask my parents for my hand in marriage. My parents are upset about it.

When I realized that Chad hadn't gone to them, I asked him why. He said he was following what his father had done -- proposing first and then speaking to the parents. But Chad still hasn't done it. In fact, he has yet to be around them at all.

How do I get my boyfriend to speak to my parents? They are no longer as angry as they were, but they still would like to talk to him. I spend lots of time with Chad's family, but I can't get him to even go to lunch with mine.

Dad said that if Chad doesn't clear the air with him, he may not bother showing up at our wedding! What do I do, Abby? -- FIANCEE IN A FIX

DEAR FIANCEE: You appear to be quite young. If I were you, I would take a step backward and see this from your parents' point of view. It appears that Chad wasn't entirely honest with you when he gave his reason for not talking to them. Could he be intimidated?

When a daughter marries, most parents want to know something about the young man -- not only where he has been, but also what are his plans for the future, including where the two of you will be living and whether he has a job. That Chad is hiding from them isn't a good sign.

When most couples become engaged, the parents of the bride and groom usually get together and start to form a relationship. If your father hasn't met your fiance, it makes it harder for your parents to reach out to his. When the in-laws are friendly, it makes for a more harmonious marriage.

As it stands, it appears Chad is not interested in having any relationship with your family. Frankly, I can't blame your father for being upset about it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I disagree on whether to tell our kids and friends how we met. When my wife and I met, she was underage. She was 16 and I was 21. We fell in love; it was true love. We have been together for 24 years. We have two beautiful children and have made a wonderful life together. I love her as much today as the first time I met her.

How should we answer people when they ask about how we met and fell in love? I know it was wrong and against the law. -- MIKE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MIKE: You do not have to quote chapter and verse when someone asks a question. In a case like yours, you could say that you met when you were both quite young without going into the specifics.

For a 21-year-old to see a 16-year-old girl is not against the law, as long as her parents approve and they are not having sex. The laws regarding statutory rape were enacted to prevent predators from preying on minors.

DEAR ABBY: When I buy a sweater I usually get an extra button in a little clear baggie attached to the garment. Today, I bought a sweater with a piece of matching thread in the tiny plastic bag.

Why do manufacturers insist on adding something to every article of clothing even if it is just a piece of thread? -- INQUISITIVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR INQUISITIVE: The thread is provided in case the garment needs to be rewoven in the event you get a hole in it or a tear. It's a courtesy to the customer, so stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.

DEAR ABBY: I am 36. My husband is 60. We have been together for 10 years. During the first four years we got along great, but he now says he wants to have affairs.

He texts women and tries to hide it from me. I found out he was texting his first ex-wife. It made me uncomfortable, so I asked him to stop. He didn't. When I realized he hadn't, I told him I would leave if it happens again. This kind of behavior has been going on for more than half our marriage.

I am at the point where I don't want to cuddle or be affectionate with him at all. He commented the other day that he should be allowed to have an affair because I mentioned that I find Hemingway interesting. (He was known for affairs.)

I'm at a loss. I care for my husband and don't want to hurt him. But I'm also scared that I can't afford to be on my own. A little advice? -- UNSURE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSURE: Hemingway was also known for his drinking and big-game hunting. Is your husband considering doing those things, too?

If ever I heard of a couple who could benefit from marriage counseling, it's you two. As it stands, your marriage is broken. Counseling may help. If it doesn't and you don't have a job, find one and figure out a way to cut your expenses so you can afford to be on your own, because it looks like you will be.

DEAR ABBY: I am an esthetician who works as a waxing specialist. A customer of mine came in a short while ago and admitted to driving to my salon while drunk. She mentioned she had almost crashed her car getting here, and I could smell the liquor on her breath.

She is one of my regular customers, but I am very against drunk driving. How would I professionally handle this? I wanted to report it, but I didn't know what car she was driving or where she was headed. How should this be handled in the future? -- CONFLICTED IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CONFLICTED: Because you know the woman well, you might say, "You nearly crashed your car getting here. I care about you too much to let you drive home like this. I'm calling you a taxi. Pick up your car tomorrow."

When she's sober again and comes in for her next appointment, tell her how worried you were about her. There are two ways to lose a customer. One is by offending her. The other is by letting her kill herself behind the wheel because she's so drunk she can't see straight. So let your conscience guide you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a condition that causes constant migraines. A new neighbor heard about my illness and is determined to become my second mother. She continually tries to visit, call and text even though my husband and I have asked her not to.

I dislike hurting people. How can I get her to stop her stalker-ish behavior without making this old lady my enemy? -- MY OTHER HEADACHE'S A NEIGHBOR

DEAR OTHER HEADACHE: Stop asking and tell this well-meaning woman that she's making your condition worse by continuing to call, text and visit. And while you're at it, tell her that when you're ready for company, you will contact her -- but only when you're feeling well enough to chat. If she persists after that, don't answer her calls and refuse her visits.