DEAR ABBY: One of my childhood friends got married at a young age. She's now expecting and due in a few months. Every day she messages me on Facebook about something else her husband has done to cause her emotional stress. For example, a few weeks ago she found flirtatious erotic messages he had exchanged with another girl.

I want to help her because we have been friends for so long. We're both 19, and I feel I should know how to help her, but since I've never been married I don't know what to say. Any advice? -- FRIEND IN KENTUCKY

DEAR FRIEND: What a sad situation. Your friend is married to someone who apparently doesn't want to be married -- and it's open to question whether he will be much of a parent. If she has family, she should talk to them about this because she may need their help soon. She should also make plans for how she will support herself and the child, because her husband appears to be a flake.

Please pass this advice along. And let this be a lesson to you about the importance of achieving independence before assuming the responsibility of parenthood.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is in her mid-90s. Several of her lifelong friends, widows, still live in their own homes, as she does. However, they no longer drive.

A phone call would help them communicate directly with each other about life situations, but it doesn't seem to happen. Instead of calling and talking to each other, they hear about each other third-hand.

Is it typical for the elderly to abandon each other and be so cruel? If so, what could help people communicate better regardless of age? -- CONCERNED SON IN COLORADO

DEAR SON: Not everyone in their 90s ages the same way. Some individuals are still active; others are less so. When seniors stop driving, there can be a tendency for them to become isolated and depressed. Others may be taking medications that affect their memory.

A way to help people in your mother's age group would be to see that they have transportation to a senior center, where they can mingle face-to-face if they wish. I recommend this for your mother and her friends because I'm sure none of them are being deliberately cruel.

DEAR ABBY: I am an addict of Turner Classic Movies and wondered how those handsome actors and beautiful actresses control their libido during passionate love scenes. Or is there more to it than appears? -- FILM BUFF IN ENCINITAS, CALIF.

DEAR FILM BUFF: Generally speaking, what an audience sees on the screen isn't an amorous encounter. Every gesture has been carefully choreographed. There may be a lot more acting than passion involved. (That's why it's called acting.) Remember, there is a director and there can be a crew of as many as 30 people standing around. Of course, there are always exceptions -- Liz Taylor and Richard Burton would be one of them, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be another.

DEAR ABBY: During the past three years, my husband and I managed to save about $45,000 for a down payment on the purchase of a new home. (We each put in about half.) Early last month, I asked my husband if he liked one house we had just seen, and he confessed that he had taken all the money we had saved and put it into a struggling business he has had for 12 years and which I helped him run on weekends.

I am devastated! It's not just the money, which was for our future. The plan was to purchase an affordable home and pay it off quickly. But he lied to me, strung me along and stole from me, because half of that money was mine. There is no chance he can repay it. My trust in him and our marriage is broken. What are your thoughts? -- CRUSHED IN PALM HARBOR, FLA.

DEAR CRUSHED: Because the basis of any successful partnership -- and that includes marriage -- is trust, I think you have some serious thinking to do. And if you decide to remain married to your husband, you should have access to all documents connected to both your finances in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed to have many friends who invite me to parties and gatherings. I met a guy at one of them and we had a nice conversation. A few days later he called me. He said he'd gotten my number from our mutual friend. (I had given her permission to give it out to people who had been at the party.)

We talked some more and kept talking and exchanging emails over the course of a couple of months. Because it wasn't every day or even every week, I thought we were just friends.

At the next party he asked me out on a date -- a romantic date. This is a problem. I identify as an aromantic asexual. I do not feel the things he does. Having to explain my sexual orientation to people is embarrassing. Any advice on how to convey this without ruining the friendship we have developed? -- EMBARRASSED IN INDIANA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Try saying it this way: "I'm flattered, but it would be better if we remain just friends. I think you're terrific, but I am not a romantic or sexual person. It has nothing to do with you. It's just the way I am and always have been."

DEAR ABBY: I am a strong and independent 18-year-old girl. I have been with my boyfriend, "Cash," for four years and he has been an ever-present rock in my life. His 21st birthday is soon, and I'm afraid it may alter our relationship because of things he will be able to do, such as drinking. I want some form of commitment from him before his birthday, so I can be sure he's as serious about our relationship as I am.

Cash says he doesn't want to make a commitment now because he wants time to be young and stupid. I understand where he's coming from, but it seems like he's setting us up for disaster. Why can't we be young and stupid together? I'm not asking for marriage now, but a long engagement would prove his devotion to me. Isn't this a reasonable expectation? If it is, how do I tell him? -- WANTS SOME COMMITMENT IN NEBRASKA

DEAR WANTS: For a young woman who is strong and independent, you appear to be somewhat clingy and needy. Commitments such as the kind you're looking for must be made voluntarily, not as a result of arm-twisting. The harder you try to rope Cash in, the more confined he's going to feel, so my advice is to loosen up or you stand a good chance of driving him away.

DEAR ABBY: Why is a wedding always about the bride? Why is the groom often ignored and the occasion not about both of them? I find this offensive as a man who, by tradition, is supposed to "take care of her," but is ignored as a partner in the relationship.

The whole deal about the day being about the bride is sexist, as far as I'm concerned. Television shows like "Bridezillas" make men look like idiots who have no value in a marriage. What are your thoughts? -- MAN WHO MATTERS IN FLORIDA

DEAR MAN WHO MATTERS: These shows you refer to depend on shock value to attract and sustain an audience, and some of the goings-on that are portrayed are so far-out as to be freakish. Please don't mistake reality TV for reality because nothing could be further from the truth.

Much has changed regarding marriage customs in the last decades. Traditionally, weddings were paid for by the parents of the bride. There was little monetary input from the groom's family, and they did not expect to assist in the planning of the event. Today, however, many couples postpone marriage until they are older and financially independent. They pay for their own weddings and plan them as partners.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a senior in high school who is already taking college classes. I have told my mom I plan to become a special education teacher. I have been an aide in the special ed class for three years now, and I love it.

My mother and grandmother are not supportive. They keep trying to talk me out of going to college to do what I love. They say I should be a nurse, so I can earn better money, and they tell me I won't be able to find a job if I become a special ed teacher. What should I do when they keep bringing this up? -- THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE

DEAR THINKING: Let me first tell you what not to do. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument over this. As much as you are thinking about your future, so are your mother and grandmother.

Because you are taking college classes, talk with a counselor at the school about the kinds of job openings there are for special education teachers. Visit the library and do some research. Both would be intelligent ways to get a glimpse of what will be in store for you if you choose to go into that field.

DEAR ABBY: I have kids who play sports. As I sit in the stands and watch the games, I am disgusted by the negative attitudes and bad-mouthing I hear coming from the parents in the crowds.

How do parents teach good sportsmanship and compassion when the adults they see around them behave worse than the kids? As hard as I try, I can't understand how grown adults can yell or call kids names at a sports event and expect these same kids to grow up with morals and values. -- SPORTS MOM IN MOUNTAIN TOP, PA.

DEAR SPORTS MOM: Positive reinforcement usually works better than name-calling and belittling. Kids are like sponges. They imitate the behavior they see the adults around them exhibit. Effective parents teach their children by modeling behavior they want to encourage in their children. (No one ever said this is always easy!)

The parents you describe may be trying to relive their youth vicariously through their children. Many times, it's not possible for the children to do as well as -- or better than -- the parents, and the result is the children end up disliking the sport.