DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Kyra," has joined the drama department at our school. She has made a lot of theater friends now and hangs out with them every day after school. She used to meet me occasionally at my locker after school, but no longer does so. The only time I see her, she's with her theater friends, and I'm uncomfortable because I don't know them and I'm shy.

I'm trying to make friends with Kyra's friends, but when I'm with her, she kind of ignores me and doesn't try to include me as much as she could. It's depressing that my best friend would rather hang out with other people than me. I'm missing her. What do I do? -- CAST-OFF IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAST-OFF: Kyra's behavior is insensitive, but I don't think you can change her. So the solution will be for you to become less emotionally dependent upon her. A way to do that would be to develop some outside interests of your own and start cultivating them.

While Kyra might have a flair for drama, perhaps you might be more interested in sports, art, computers, etc. If you start to explore what activities are available, it will provide you with a larger circle of acquaintances, and you'll miss your friend less because you are filling your time with other things. Please give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: Three times in the last week I have been hugged by people who then informed me that they were sick. At dinner last night, one friend blew his nose throughout the meal and then wanted to shake hands. Yuck!

A little reminder during cold season: If you are sick, "coming down with something" or even just "fighting off a little bug," don't hug others! Don't give a little peck on the cheek or shake hands. You can politely mention that you are "a bit under the weather and don't want to share." Other people won't be offended or think you are being standoffish. They will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. -- TRYING TO STAY HEALTHY

DEAR TRYING: That's good advice, if folks are willing to heed it. I can only add that flu vaccinations, frequent hand-washing and a small bottle of hand sanitizer can lessen the chances of getting these viruses when our friends are in a state of denial, and it wasn't "an allergy."

DEAR ABBY: I'm not particularly attractive, pretty or girly. I don't think I'm what boys are looking for, so I tend to not be too involved with them. I have a lot of male friends, but I have never had a first kiss, a first date, etc.

Yesterday, a guy friend asked me out. I was shocked. I saw him as only a friend and never thought of him as a boyfriend, so I said no. He acted like it wasn't a big deal. Things aren't awkward between us, but I think I may have hurt his feelings or his self-esteem.

After school -- he'd asked me out after my third class -- I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't regret my decision, but I'm worried about him. Can you help me? -- CONCERNED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR CONCERNED: It might help to recognize that people ask each other out for a variety of reasons -- which can include needing a date for an event, romantic interest or just wanting to hang out with someone who is good company. Not knowing your friend, I can't guess what his reason was when he asked you out.

Because you think you may have hurt his feelings, make a point of telling him that you hope you didn't. And mention that since you are new to the idea of dating, you think you may owe him an apology because you care about him as a friend.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating someone for about six months. We fell in love very quickly and spend almost every second together.

Our relationship has hit a rough patch ever since he found out that I have dated African-American men. He can't seem to get over it, but he keeps saying he wants to try to make it work. He says cruel things sometimes when he gets mad, and it seems to be on his mind constantly. I don't know what to do or how to make this better. We fell in love, but it seems to be spoiled because of my past.

This isn't a big deal to me. I have always dated people I thought were good people. He seems to view it as disgusting. I thought he was my soul mate because we connected so well on everything else, but I'm afraid he will never get past this issue and I may be wasting my time. What should I do? -- ROCKY ROAD IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ROCKY ROAD: Give him a hug and let him go. You are the sum total of your experiences and your upbringing, and the same is true of your boyfriend. He comes from a background of racial prejudice. When a person is raised that way, the mindset can be very difficult to change.

As much as you might want to, you can't fix this man; only he can do that. And from your description of him, I don't think he's capable of that kind of growth.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to you in the hope that you will share something with your readers. When I travel, I stay in hotels and it never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate my fellow travelers can be. Late at night, the drunken party animals carry on, often until the sun rises. Then families with small children invade the halls, and the kids race up and down the halls screaming.

Behind every one of those closed hallway doors there may be a person who is trying to sleep. Fellow travelers, please be considerate! Walk softly and talk quietly in the halls.

And parents, please teach your children manners. This includes not playing noisily where people are trying to sleep. -- SLEEPLESS NEAR SEATTLE

DEAR SLEEPLESS: I have experienced the same difficulties that you have while traveling. Here's how I deal with it: I pick up the phone and notify the front desk or security if there are rowdy drunks keeping me awake after 10 p.m. -- and the same goes for neighbors who have the volume on their television sets turned up so high I can't sleep. If the problem persists, I ask to be moved to a quieter room.

As for the screaming children chasing each other in the hallways -- I have been known to poke my sleepy head out the door and ask them to please quiet down. Maybe I have just been lucky, but they usually do.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my high school sweetheart, "Linda," for 37 years. I am a widower now, going into a new relationship. "Susan" and I are going slow, but we may end up living together in my home.

How do I integrate pictures of Linda with Susan being there? I have one of Linda and the kids, one of the two of us, and a painting of Linda and me together. Eventually I will want one with me and Susan.

How do I make this work? This is all new to me and I don't want to screw this up. -- LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE

DEAR L.S.T.: I am a great believer in verbal communication. Like many other things in relationships, this should be discussed and negotiated. Talk to Susan about it and see if she would be comfortable living in your home with these pictures on display. If you plan to combine households, Susan may have some photos of her own she would like to display.

Many women wouldn't object to a picture of you and your late wife. However, the portrait might be a bit much. Perhaps one of your children would like to have it.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter from "Holding My Tongue" (Nov. 8), the woman who was upset because many children were playing with electronic devices during her grandchildren's school concerts and recitals. While I agree that most children should pay attention to the event at hand, as the mother of two children on the autism spectrum, I have a different perspective.

There are apps and games designed to keep these children occupied and help them deal with the stress and anxiety of being in a large group of people. I should not have to leave my sons at home because they are on the spectrum, so a harmless, quiet game that allows them to participate without being disruptive is a godsend to me.

Sometimes it is not obvious why someone is doing something; so as long as it isn't disrupting the event, please try to be tolerant. -- LAURA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LAURA: Your point is well-stated, and was one made by a number of parents of children with special needs. Readers had interesting comments on this topic, so I'm sharing a few:

DEAR ABBY: If there's a possibility young children could be unruly during a performance, I think they should be allowed to use a tablet or something to keep them occupied.

Sometimes it's hard to find a sitter or afford one. When children get dragged to programs they have no interest in, they lose patience and become fidgety. If given something to occupy their attention, as long as it has headphones, then I don't see a problem. I'd rather have that than kids shouting, screaming and crying because they're unhappy being there. -- UNDERSTANDING IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ABBY: In this digital age, we have lost touch with basic common decency and respect for others. I not only notice this in children, but adults as well. I have seen people check their emails while they are in church, or couples sitting together at a restaurant, both fixated on their electronic devices and not speaking a word to each other.

It's sad to imagine what the next generation will be like if we don't start putting the devices down and interacting with each other again like human beings. I raised all three of my kids this way, so I know it's not impossible. -- MAINTAINING HUMAN CONTACT

DEAR ABBY: When my precious mother passed away last summer, my sister-in-law brought two handheld games to the funeral. My niece and nephew played and played while the pastor spoke about my mother.

It was the last straw for me in a series of incredibly rude actions over the years. My children were also appalled. When respect is no longer taught at home, we sink to the lowest level as a society. -- DEBRA ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR ABBY: I have stopped attending my friends' grandchildren's recitals because I, too, cannot tolerate rudeness. Many parents today just don't want to bother with their children. If there is a toy that can keep them busy, their parents "enable" them to grow up as idiots who can't appreciate the world and its beauty because their world is lived entirely on an electronic screen. -- GEORGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: What parents who allow this type of behavior don't seem to understand is that it transfers to the classroom. Their children assume it's OK to ignore the teacher, the lesson and instructions that in some cases could save a life. -- FRUSTRATED EDUCATOR IN MIAMI

DEAR ABBY: I used to conduct workshops for teachers on how to instruct with newspapers. When I started my lecture, I would begin by saying, "OK, teachers, turn off your iPads, iPhones and iPods, because I don't want to become iRate." They loved it, and it was a great kickoff for the lecture. -- ALFRED IN TEXAS