DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were both married previously. We have been together for seven years.

When we first started dating, we would sometimes go to one of the casinos after dinner as a fun outing. We never spent much money and went only occasionally. Our game of choice was the slot machine.

Over the last few years, it seems like the casino has taken over our lives. We go there to the exclusion of almost everything else and spend money we can't afford to lose. We both have the mentality that the "big win" is right around the corner.

How can we break this habit? It's causing unbearable financial and emotional stress in our marriage. I'm afraid it won't last another year. -- IN OVER MY HEAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR IN OVER YOUR HEAD: In case you are not aware, there is a name for the habit you and your husband have acquired. It's "compulsive gambling," and it's an addiction in much the same way as the abuse of alcohol or drugs. Fortunately, you have finally reached a point where you have realized this "fun outing" is out of control.

Gamblers Anonymous can help you break this destructive cycle. It's a 12-step program based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. Its members support one another by sharing their strength and experiences with one another. The website is www.gamblersanonymous.org.

Many people have experienced what you're going through, and this well-established organization has helped them. To locate a meeting near you, visit the website or check your telephone directory.

DEAR ABBY: My mom and stepfather are divorcing. They were married for 25 years. He was always a great father figure to me and has been a very active grandfather to my children. The reason for the divorce is his infidelity and the disrespect he has shown my mother.

We are his only family, and he wants to be involved with us as if nothing is different, even showing up at family gatherings. I want to be loyal to my mother -- and I do feel he betrayed us -- but I still recognize that he has also been good to me and the kids. He doesn't deserve to be cut out of our lives. How does one handle a situation like this? -- SEEING THE BIG PICTURE

DEAR SEEING: Your stepdad may want to pretend that nothing is different, but something IS different. He hurt your mother so badly they will no longer be married.

If you want to be loyal to your mother and still have a relationship with him, then you need to have a talk with him. Explain that because he is no longer married to your mother, he will no longer be invited to family gatherings where your mother will be present. Be sure to tell him you regard him with affection, but will be seeing him separately for the foreseeable future.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old boy in ninth grade. I have depression, and I don't know what to do. I always feel like I'm not good enough for anything, even though I have had a 4.0 GPA since seventh grade. I have repeatedly cut myself, but I wear a bracelet so no one can see it.

I don't want my family to find out because I'm afraid they will treat me like a poor little kid who is too easily offended. I don't know what to do or who I can go to for help. Thank you for any help you can give me. -- DROWNING IN DESPAIR

DEAR DROWNING: When a person is experiencing so much emotional pain that he (or she) is self-injuring, it's time to get professional help to deal with it.

Ideally, you should be able to talk to your parents about the depth and duration of your depression. But because you feel you can't, talk with a trusted teacher or counselor at school about it, or an adult relative you feel close enough to confide it to. Cutting is not the answer because it only brings temporary relief from the issues you have that need resolving.

I care about you, and I'm glad you asked me this question. Please don't postpone following my advice.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired. Everything was great until about six months ago, when things radically changed.

The issue is I stopped shaving every day. I did it when I was working, but I don't feel the need to do it now. My wife strongly disapproves. She claims my unkempt appearance is a direct, negative reflection on her. I feel it reflects only on me.

I have told her I will shave prior to any social engagement we both attend, as well as public events like civic club, etc. The guys I play cards with also go unshaven.

My wife has threatened to cancel card games with friends, cancel our weekend trip to her brother's birthday celebration, cancel our upcoming European river cruise, refuses to kiss me and said some things I can't repeat. Is there anything I can do to appease this lady I love dearly? -- LAID BACK IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LAID BACK: One thing comes to mind -- you could shave.

DEAR ABBY: I am a server in an upscale restaurant. Part of my job is refilling water goblets, which shouldn't be stressful except that almost all of our customers place their smartphones right next to their glasses. If I should make a slight mistake and accidentally drip water on these expensive devices, you know what would happen next. Please ask your readers to keep their smartphones off the table! -- CAREFUL SERVER IN BETHLEHEM, PA.

DEAR CAREFUL SERVER: I'm glad to ask, but many readers regard their smartphones as extensions of themselves. Convincing them to cooperate would be like selling them on amputating a finger. Of course, the lesson would be learned if the diner accidentally tipped over a water or wine glass because there would be no one else to blame. But in the meantime, it's important that when you pour, you do it VERY CAREFULLY.

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering why pregnant women these days don't wear smocks like we all wore years ago. While I do think pregnant women are attractive, I really don't want to see their swollen bellies. Wouldn't it be better to just "imagine" what is under that smock or long skirt? Does anyone agree with me? -- DOROTHY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DOROTHY: Some readers may agree, but I'm pretty sure most of them won't. You are harking back to the days when people were embarrassed about the subject of sex, and used euphemisms like "in a family way" or "a bun in the oven" to describe pregnancy.

Women today are proud to show off their silhouettes. In fact, I saw a woman recently sporting a T-shirt with an arrow pointing downward and the words "Baby on Board." While this may seem to be somewhat "in your face," I think it's healthier than pretending there's nothing going on when the expectant mother is in her seventh month and it's obvious there is.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 21 and a college student. My mother recently came to visit me and took my boyfriend and me out to dinner. After we were through eating, we sat across the table from my mother and engaged in post-dinner chatter. I draped my arm around his neck and began playing with his ear. It was absent-minded, and I thought nothing of it, but my mother stared from across the table shocked.

She later told me that ear fondling is not appropriate in public. I was taken aback. Isn't it OK to play with my boyfriend's ear in public? Does it make people around us uncomfortable? -- EAR SNUGGLES IN VERMONT

DEAR EAR SNUGGLES: Playing with someone's ear could be considered foreplay, and seeing it certainly made your mother uncomfortable. Perhaps among your contemporaries it would be acceptable, but as a general rule, it's better to keep intimate gestures of affection private.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer a reminder so people won't have to experience what I am right now. Please take a few minutes to go through your wallet and make photocopies of everything in there. Put the list somewhere you can easily find it. That way, if your wallet is lost or stolen, you'll know what was in it.

I did that years ago, but I didn't keep it current and now I'm upset with myself. Some time over the weekend I misplaced my wallet. Luckily, I don't keep my ID and debit cards there, so at least they are safe. But because I use my wallet so seldom, I'm unsure what was in there.

If people make copies of everything in their wallets, it will be easier to report and replace the things should the need arise. I am so bummed out right now. While I lost only $30, I lost a treasured photograph of my daughter, and I can't remember what other cards may have been in there. -- FUMING IN LUTZ, FLA.

DEAR FUMING: I know from personal experience how frustrating losing a wallet can be, so thank you for wanting to remind readers how important it is to copy documents or credit cards they carry with them. It takes only a few minutes, and the peace of mind it brings is worth the effort.