DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. Our marriage may not be perfect, but it's quite good.

My dilemma is this: My husband keeps track of every time we have sex and has a personal goal of 100 times a year. In 2013, he informed me that we'd had sex only 76 times, and that was not adequate for him. He was quite upset about it.

Do you think tracking your sex life is normal, and what do you think about a couple married for 30-plus years having sex 76 times in a year? Is that normal? Also, keep in mind that he travels for business and is gone about 60 days a year. -- PRESSURED

DEAR PRESSURED: Your husband sounds like a college student who is striving to get 100 notches on his belt. Rather than obsess about the number of times you have had sex, the quality of the experience should be more important. Fifty GREAT times a year would be better than 100 so-so times, one would think. And no, I do not think your husband's preoccupation is "normal" -- whatever normal is these days.

DEAR ABBY: After six years of unsuccessful fertility work, my husband and I were forced to give up. Last summer his sister offered to be a surrogate for us, and we'll use a donor egg since I have none. We have told only a few people.

We're having an embryo transfer next week and thought we'd wait until after the first trimester to "announce." But what is the proper way to do it when it's not actually I who is expecting? And is there etiquette for having a baby shower in this situation?

We're excited and proud of this opportunity, but it takes a lot of explaining for people to understand and not be judgmental. This is the closest we'll ever get to experiencing pregnancy, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. -- MODERN MOM-TO-BE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: Congratulations on your pregnancy. Because it takes explaining, I recommend you share the happy news with your family and close friends by telling them in person. That way, you can answer any questions they may have directly. When you want "the world" to know, you may decide to send a mass email or post photos on the Internet.

As to having a baby shower -- because this is a happy event you are celebrating and you will need things for the baby, I'm sure a friend will want to host one for you. Be sure to include your sister-in-law if she would like to attend.

DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old granddaughter is seeing a 30-year-old man. What can I say to let her know he is way too old for her? I don't want her to hate me. -- LOVING GRANDMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOVING GRANDMA: I don't think that telling your granddaughter the man is too old for her would be a good idea because it would imply that she is too young, and no 18-year-old wants to hear that. Tell her instead that you think she would have a lot more in common with someone closer to her age. This is particularly true if she is still in high school.

DEAR ABBY: I manage a group of 15 employees. A few months ago, I hired the wife of an old friend. Until now she has been a great employee, but recently she and a male co-worker have been taking lunches and breaks together in a way that leads me to believe they are flirting or have already crossed the line.

Because we have a small group, I worry about how this will affect my team, who know that she's married. I also feel bad for the husband, who is a very caring and kind man.

As a manager, I don't think I can say anything unless their liaison interferes with their work performance. But I hate to watch this progress and see people end up hurt. What can I do? -- MANAGEMENT DECISION

DEAR MANAGEMENT: Unless the flirtation becomes a distraction for "the team," you should stay out of it. Much as you might like to intervene, your friend's wife and this co-worker are adults and responsible for their own behavior.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend watches the 24-hour news channels and seems to be obsessed with them. It is hurting our relationship and affecting her happiness. She's constantly worried about national and international politics, global warming, the economy, health care, crime, etc. She neglects herself and her family. She seems agitated, anxious and depressed by all the news.

Is this a disease? How can I help her get off this habit? What should I do? -- MISERABLE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MISERABLE: Your girlfriend appears to have become a news junkie. She's overstimulated and hooked on the adrenaline rush she gets from channel surfing from one tragedy, outrage and horror to the next. While this may not technically be a disease, it IS exhausting and depressing.

When the same thing started happening to me, I fixed it by turning off the news and going "cold turkey." After a four-day news blackout, I felt like my buoyant self again. Now I ration my exposure. Please share this with your girlfriend because it's what I'm recommending for her.

DEAR ABBY: At a wedding, while shaking hands with a friend, I accidentally bumped another friend's wine glass, staining his $180 shirt. The stain is a small one, on the lower portion and not very noticeable. Now the man insists I pay for the shirt.

Is there an etiquette rule on this issue? I feel bad, but not bad enough that I think I should pay for such an expensive shirt. If you have the means to pay for a shirt that expensive, I don't believe you should expect others to replace it. -- CHRIS IN DENVER

DEAR CHRIS: Good manners dictate that you offer to pay for having the shirt cleaned. A good dry cleaner may be able to remove the stain, but it should be done as soon as possible. Anytime a person has a stained garment, it should be taken to a professional and what caused the stain identified so it can be removed. Trying to treat it yourself can make removal more difficult.

If the stain is permanent, then you should pay to replace the shirt. Ask yourself what's more important -- 180 bucks or your friendship?

DEAR ABBY: My 83-year-old mother has decided she wants to die. She says she's miserable, but I think she's causing her own misery. She has medications to address her physical ailments -- none of which are critical. My siblings live in other states. Mom feels it's a "burden" for them to travel to see her, and she refuses to travel.

Mom is in assisted living and is now refusing to bathe, trying not to eat, and doesn't want to talk to anyone or have visitors. She's obviously depressed, but refuses counseling. If she continues being uncooperative, I'm afraid she'll have to go to a nursing home where they might let her starve herself to death.

One sister says I should force Mom to do fun things, but I don't know what she wants. We used to go out to eat, but she no longer wants to do that. I have tried to honor Mom's wishes, but I'm at a loss about what to do for her. Do you have any suggestions? -- ALMOST AT WITS' END

DEAR ALMOST: I have one. You and your siblings should have your mother evaluated by a geriatrician IMMEDIATELY. It's apparent that she is depressed, but the question is whether she also has something physically wrong with her that is affecting her mental state. Then let the doctor be your guide.

DEAR ABBY: I dated my ex for six years, but we broke up recently. The problem is, we signed a lease on our apartment that won't be up until next year. He still lives here, and I don't have the heart to kick him out. Financially, our living together makes sense, and I'd rather live with him than with a stranger.

Abby, this living arrangement has made it tough to get over him. Our breakup was amicable -- somewhat -- and we remain civil to each other. I have no desire to get back together with him. I just find it hard because I'm not sure how to survive this weird situation I'm in. Is it a good idea to keep living together? -- REMAINING CIVIL IN CANADA

DEAR REMAINING CIVIL: It depends upon how high your tolerance is for pain. If seeing your ex with others hurts to the extent that you shed tears on your pillow, or obsess about who he's with and where he's going, then it's not a good idea. However, if the situation can't be changed, then it's important that you fill your time with activities and opportunities that allow you to meet new people and make new friends.

DEAR ABBY: My new husband's family informed him they were coming to visit us for seven to 10 days. This was eight relatives, and I was not asked whether this was convenient or not. They were so noisy that our neighbors finally asked, "When are they leaving?"

How can I prevent this from happening again in the future without offending anyone? My husband said after they had left, "You don't handle chaos and confusion well, do you?" -- NEEDS TO BE CONSULTED IN GEORGIA

DEAR NEEDS TO BE CONSULTED: Revisit the question your husband asked you. And when you do, tell him the answer is not only do you NOT handle chaos, confusion and eight surprise houseguests well, neither do your neighbors. Then set some boundaries for the next time they say they are coming. His first response should always be, "I'll check with my wife to see if it's convenient."