DEAR ABBY: My husband tends to be a major clutterbug. We had an argument last night about him storing a set of encyclopedias. My argument is that we have never used them and never will, since they are "dinosaurs" in today's modern world. Any information can be looked up digitally.

He was given these encyclopedias by his grandparents, so he feels they have a "deeper meaning." Although he has never once used them, he says they make the bookshelf look nicer. We recently got rid of the bookshelf and now he wants to store them in our already cluttered attic.

His plan is to pass them on to our child or grandchildren. I don't think they would want to inherit them, as they take up so much space and there are more efficient ways to find information. Please help. -- FRUSTRATED WIFE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR WIFE: The encyclopedias DO have a deeper meaning for your husband that almost surely has less to do with "looking nice on a bookshelf" than their sentimental value. They symbolize the love his grandparents had for him, as well as the idea that he can pass an heirloom down to the next generations.

Please relent about boxing them up and making room for them in the attic. At some point, your husband will probably arrive at the same conclusion that you have -- after they have been refused by the progeny for whom he has been saving them. And try to hang on to your sense of humor, because this isn't worth arguing over.

DEAR ABBY: What should someone do when gifts received via mail or UPS have been damaged in transit? We have received some ceramic objects for Christmas in the last two years. Both were packed and sent by the givers.

My wife would rather remain silent about the damage to avoid the appearance that a replacement is expected. I contend that the damage should be mentioned and that no replacement is necessary when writing the thank-you note, or even that certain gifts should be avoided in the future. Otherwise, the sender has no way of knowing that a better packaging job is necessary. Also, there may be some (insurance) recourse with the carrier. -- "BUSTED" IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR "BUSTED": I agree with you to a point. The giver should be thanked, and the fact that the gift arrived damaged should be mentioned. It's smart to insure packages before sending, so if the contents are damaged, there will be compensation. But even if they weren't insured, the sender should be informed that the gift arrived broken, so the next time precautions can be taken before the item is shipped.

However, I do not agree with stating that in the future such gifts should be avoided because it would imply the gift was unwelcome or inappropriate.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of a 1-year-old boy, Zack. His father, my ex, has shared custody, but we don't have a very good co-parenting relationship. Shortly after I gave birth, he left me to be with a woman he had met while I was pregnant, and they are still in a relationship.

She thinks it's OK to post pictures of Zack on her social media sites. I have a problem with this, not least of all that it is incredibly hurtful to see another woman pretend she is in a "mother" role with my son.

I have confronted my ex about this and although he told me he would talk to her about it, he also told me it is none of my business what happens while Zack is in his care.

Am I right to make this an issue, or do I need to move on and accept that this woman is in my son's life? -- OFFENDED IN SAN JOSE

DEAR OFFENDED: I sympathize with your feelings, but your ex is right. Unless something is happening that's dangerous to Zack's welfare, you can't control what happens when he's with his father.

I don't know how serious this new relationship is, but it appears to be a long-lasting one -- and whether you approve or not, this woman is in your son's life in the role of part-time mother. For your sake, you need to accept it because the alternative is to make yourself sick over it. And because it's hurtful, stop reading her posts.

DEAR ABBY: I married the love of my life eight years ago. He's a wonderful husband, father and provider. He has just one flaw -- his hygiene.

He works long hours and is usually exhausted when he gets home. He showers maybe once a week, and brushes his teeth less often. Sometimes he makes sexual advances, but I'm so turned off by his smell that I just can't do it.

I have tried asking him to be cleaner. I have even been upfront about what other people have said about his lack of cleanliness. I even tried making shower time "fun," but a girl can't do that every night!

I'm becoming so frustrated. I'm a clean person, and I keep hoping one day he'll adopt my habits, but it doesn't look like it's happening soon. Any advice? -- HOLDING MY NOSE IN IDAHO

DEAR HOLDING YOUR NOSE: It appears this wonderful husband, father and provider has the personal habits of a goat. If he has enough energy to make advances at the end of a long workday, then he should have enough to take a shower and brush his teeth. Unless you plan to wear a clothespin on your nose during marital relations, you should insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been invited to a high school graduation for twin girls. One of them has been our baby sitter for almost three years, and we have formed a close relationship with her. We know her sister, but do not have the same relationship with her.

We would like to give our baby sitter more money for graduation, but do not want to offend her sister. What should we do? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN OHIO

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: When you give the girls their graduation cards, enclose a check in each for the same amount of money. Later, privately, you can give your baby sitter something extra as a token of your appreciation. That way, it will be less obvious and may avoid hurt feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I both served in the military. When she returned from Egypt 19 months ago, she dropped a bomb on me, saying she didn't want to be married anymore. She said she had settled for second best all her life and that's what she had done with me. She went on to say she knows there's someone better than me out there, and she's going to find him.

All the evidence points to an affair, which she denies -- constant trips out of town, emails and phone calls. We are now living paycheck to paycheck. We have no more savings and I'm paying all the expenses when it comes to the kids. She retired a year ago and refuses to get a job worthy of her experience. The worst part is, our kids have suffered.

We have been separated ever since she got back. She says our kids aren't worth her trying to save our marriage. Our close friends and family are still shocked, but no one more than me. It has been a struggle, which almost caused me to have a breakdown. Everything I do now is to lessen the impact on our kids. What advice can you offer me? -- TRYING TO COPE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: Please accept my sympathy. Your marriage is over and you have to accept it.

If you haven't consulted a lawyer, you should do it NOW to figure out what your responsibility -- and HERS -- will be to the children once your divorce is final. They should be cared for by the parent who is willing and able to give them stability, and the lawyer can help you determine this. From your description of your wife, that would be you, while she searches for someone she "deserves." Personally, I hope she finds him, because the way she has treated you has been brutal.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a student in a community college. I enjoy the diversity of the students here; many are adults who are changing careers or getting the education they've always wanted.

One woman in my class has a habit of bringing her toddler with her. I understand that sitters can be unreliable and child care is expensive, but this disrupts the class -- and I know it distracts the mother, as well. She often has to get up mid-lesson when her child needs to use the restroom.

I don't want to step on toes or intrude in people's personal lives, but college is no place for an unruly toddler. How can I handle this? -- STUDENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR STUDENT: I wholeheartedly agree with you that toddlers do not belong in college lectures where they distract the students. This is something that should be discussed with whomever is conducting the class, and if that doesn't fix the problem, with the dean.

P.S. Some colleges have baby-sitting facilities on campus.