DEAR ABBY: I met the most wonderful man on a dating site. We seemed to hit it off. In fact, we are falling in love with each other. But he isn't ready for an exclusive relationship and still wants to date. He gets on the dating sites when I'm asleep in his bed.

I really care for him, but I don't want to pressure him. He has told me he loves me, but right now he just wants to be friends. He says I should also date, but how do you turn off love? -- SAD AND CONFUSED

DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: Please don't think I'm unkind, but when a man is falling in love with a woman, he does not creep out of bed in the dead of night to visit dating sites. He also doesn't tell her to date other people.

Although you may love this guy, from where I sit, when he said he "just wants to be friends," it appears he meant friends with benefits. Because you are looking for more than that, the next time he gets out of bed to peruse a dating site, you should go with him -- on your way out the door.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Michelle," who is attractive, intelligent and works as a teacher's assistant in a public school. What I can't understand is, she refuses to go anywhere without her 33-year-old daughter, "Chloe." They even dress alike.

Chloe is pretty and doesn't have a boyfriend. When Chloe goes out with friends, her mother rings her cellphone over and over until Chloe turns it off.

What do you think is the problem? If Michelle and I go someplace, she wants to bring Chloe, or she calls her and has her come to where we are. Chloe complains to me that she wants her freedom, but Mom accuses her of not loving her, and cries and makes her feel guilty.

Chloe is a college graduate. Her mother allows her to work, but she must come straight home afterward. I'm confused, Abby. What can I do? -- SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT

DEAR SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT: How sad for Chloe. Michelle's relationship with her daughter is more "smotherhood" than motherhood. It's not healthy for either of them. Your friend appears to be unable to see Chloe as separate from herself -- which is why she wants them to dress like twins and becomes anxious when Chloe is with friends instead of by her side.

The kindest thing you could do for the young woman would be to tell her to discuss this with a licensed mental health professional, because she will need help and support in severing the umbilical cord at this late date. That won't be easy. There will be pain involved for both Chloe and her desperately possessive mother, but if Chloe is going to have an independent life, it has to happen.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 32-year-old woman who is HIV-positive. My colleague -- who is unaware of my status -- recently introduced me to a relative of hers who is also lonely and looking for someone to settle down with. We "clicked" and seem to complement each other in every way, although we haven't had any sexual encounter.

My fear is, how do I disclose my status without being rejected? He seems to have big plans for us, which include settling down and having kids in the future. I am also worried that he might be angry with my colleague and not believe that she is unaware of my status. Please help me get out of this dilemma. -- IN A SPOT IN SOUTH AFRICA

DEAR IN A SPOT: I'll try, but there are no guarantees. Much depends upon the strength of this man's feelings for you. It is very important that you have a frank discussion with him before the relationship goes any further.

The fact that you are HIV-positive may be problematic, but it does not mean you cannot have a family together if you wish in the future. Medications and other medical interventions can help keep the virus from being transmitted to your children, and condoms can protect your partner.

If you are upfront about your status, the chances are better that he will believe you when you tell him his relative was not aware that you have HIV when you were introduced. In a case like this, honesty is the best policy.

DEAR ABBY: I have three grown sons, all educated, married and successful. Their wives are the daughters I never had, and I treasure them and their children. I'm blessed with three perfect grandchildren under the age of 5.

The problem is my sons. Although I raised them carefully with love, they are like teenagers. They constantly denigrate and fight with each other, and measure my time with them on a competitive scale. I no longer want to be involved with their bickering. Their dad, from whom I am separated, is not involved.

This has created a sad cloud in my otherwise sunny life. I need some advice. -- TIED IN KNOTS IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR TIED IN KNOTS: Have you told your sons how uncomfortable their sibling quibbling makes you? If you haven't, you should. And if that doesn't improve the situation, I suggest you see them separately. And if that causes problems, please don't make it YOUR problem.

DEAR ABBY: Over the past 10 years or so, I have noticed a vast increase in people who talk while they are yawning. These "yawn-talkers" are not only rude, but also almost impossible to understand. I wouldn't normally care, except that a lot of people do it where I work.

Is it OK to tell them to stop yawn-talking? Or would I be the rude one in the scenario? -- WIDE AWAKE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WIDE AWAKE: It wouldn't be rude to ask someone to repeat the statement because you were unable to understand what the person was trying to say. And, by the way, polite folks cover their mouths when they yawn to avoid spraying saliva on the person in front of them.

DEAR ABBY: I married a great guy a short while ago. It's the second marriage for both of us. He's good to my kids, my parents, and even gets along with my ex-husband.

"Stan" moved into my home after we married. There's only one major problem I'm having trouble dealing with: He goes through all my things, from my mail to my closet. I have caught him going through my glove compartment, the trunk of my car and anything else he can get his hands on.

He says he has a "right" to do it "because we are married," but I don't look at it that way. His first marriage did not go well. His ex didn't cheat on him, so I don't know where this is coming from.

Abby, I am squeaky clean. I have never given him any reason not to trust me. I believe he's just nosy. Meanwhile, I feel violated.

I have tried talking to him about it, but he just doesn't get it. Please help before I end my new marriage. -- THE NEW MRS. IN DELAWARE

DEAR NEW MRS.: "Great guys" do not rifle through their wives' mail and personal belongings after having been asked not to. You say your husband's first marriage didn't go well, and she didn't cheat on him. Do you know what did cause their divorce?

Your husband's obsession with searching through your belongings is not normal behavior. There may be a chapter in his life you know nothing about.

Because you have asked him to stop, and he is either unwilling or unable to, it may take help from a licensed psychotherapist to get to the bottom of it. Of course, in order for that to happen, your husband would have to be willing. If he isn't, you may indeed have to decide whether you can live with this "quirk" of his or would be better off without him.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher who loves my job. Now that the school year is winding down, may I ask you to pass on this suggestion to all the wonderful parents who send in gifts to their children's teachers?

My family has food allergies. For this reason, unless the lovingly baked goodies have ALL the ingredients listed on the wrapping paper, my family cannot enjoy them. I usually pass on these goodies to other teachers and neighbors. (Please don't think I'm not appreciative; this is purely a medical precaution.)

If I may suggest a gift idea: gift certificates for all kinds of flowers. How often do we receive the joy of flowers? Thank you for passing this along. -- EDUCATOR IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR EDUCATOR: You're welcome. While gift certificates for flowers are a wonderful idea, I'm sure a gift certificate for school supplies would also be welcomed, because many teachers purchase supplies for their classrooms out of their own funds.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks to those men and women of our armed services who laid down their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- Love, ABBY