DEAR ABBY: I am a young, recently married woman. My husband and I are about at the point where we're thinking of having kids. My brother married a close friend of mine soon after my wedding, and my sister-in-law has a medical condition that may prevent her from having children.

I am very close to my brother and his wife, and I can see the writing on the wall. She has mentioned surrogacy once in passing, as a possible alternative if she can't have kids. If I am asked to be the surrogate, what advice do you have? I'd be more than willing to consider it, but only after my husband and I have had our own children.

If I do it, would it be selfish of me to expect some compensation for my time and the toll it will take on my body? I want to be ready if and when I'm asked. What would be the best way to explain my reasoning to her? -- BACKUP MOM IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR BACKUP: You may be jumping the gun, because you do not yet know how your body will tolerate a pregnancy. Not all women have easy pregnancies, and if you're one of them, you may be less willing to be a surrogate. As to monetary compensation for wear and tear, that's a question you should ask a lawyer because compensation may not be allowed in the state in which you reside.

You, together with your brother and sister-in-law, should also discuss with a mental health professional the emotional issues that may arise -- such as everyone's expectations about what will happen when the baby arrives, what might happen if there is a death, a divorce, a move, and what your role would be -- whether you will be the birth mother or a legal aunt, etc. All of this should be clarified if your sister-in-law asks you to be her surrogate.

DEAR ABBY: I recently retired for the second time. At 70, I applied for a job online, was interviewed by a company and hired. I could hardly believe it. Three years later, I was having a medical problem, so I thought it best to retire again if I couldn't do the work I was hired to do.

After a month of rest I feel fine now. My husband thinks I was overworked. I want to get another job. Abby, why do I feel the need to still work? Most of my friends tell me to enjoy life, sit back and relax, but my work defined me and I loved it. Shouldn't I try working again if my health continues to improve? -- NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE IN GEORGIA

DEAR NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE: Not everyone is happy in retirement. Some people need the routine of work and the stimulation of being around other people. Also, not everyone ages at the same rate.

However, it's important to listen to your body and pace yourself. There's a saying, "You can fool Mother Nature, but you can't fool Father Time." If your last job drained you to the point of illness, choose something that is less taxing (either full-time or part-time). You'll enjoy your life and last longer if you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a Brit, now living in the U.S. When, upon departing, someone says, "Have a good one!" what is the correct response? -- PUZZLED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PUZZLED: Some people respond, "Thanks, the same to you." Others have been known to say, "Thanks, I'm already having one!"

The important thing is to always say "thank you."

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mike," and I are young newlyweds and adjusting to our new life quite well. However, while we both come from deeply religious families, we are both nonbelievers, which has caused some strife within the family.

Mike has several nieces and nephews (ages 4 to 9) who have asked us repeatedly why we don't go to church with them, since the whole family attends together. Their mother has made it clear that they do not want the children knowing there is another option besides Christianity, and I understand, since their faith is so important to them. But I don't want to lie to the kids or ignore their questions. Is there a tactful way to answer their questions without stepping on toes? -- NEVER ON SUNDAY

DEAR NEVER: You could respond by saying, "Your uncle and I have other plans." And if the kids ask what they are, tell them what you plan to do that day. If they ask why you don't come to church like they do, tell them that because they are children they need to learn about their religion. When they are adults, they can choose to go -- or not.

While I respect your in-laws' desire to practice their faith, I think it is unrealistic to try to keep children in the dark because as soon as they hit school -- unless they are home-schooled or in a church-run school -- they are going to meet other kids who worship differently or not at all.

DEAR ABBY: I am a male victim of domestic violence. I was traumatized for five years at the hands of my ex. I suffered through name-calling, physical and sexual abuse. Once, when she was upset, she hit me with her car and dragged me across our parking lot.

I tried several times to leave only to find that in my community there was no help for men in situations like mine. There are women's shelters everywhere, but none that cater to men and their children. I ended up having to return home, and things just got worse.

I finally left with the shirt on my back and a few belongings. Because I couldn't find help, I slept on the street.

I am now a survivor and attending school to become a social worker. I have been trying to raise awareness of men as abuse victims, but it's an uphill battle. Why? -- EMPOWERED IN CENTRAL WISCONSIN

DEAR EMPOWERED: It's probably because of outdated gender stereotypes and lack of awareness by the law enforcement in your community that women as well as men can be psychopaths. When your wife ran you down in the parking lot, she should have wound up behind bars, assuming the police were called.

While female-on-male domestic violence is reported less often than male-on-female violence, it does happen, as anyone who reads my column regularly knows. Men who need help should call the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women -- the toll-free number is 888-743-5754 -- because help is available.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 20 years old. My boyfriend and I don't drink. Almost every person my age does, and it's starting to get to me. I'd love to have friends besides my boyfriend I can hang out with, but I find that I only connect with him because everyone else always wants to go out and party. He is an introvert, so the seclusion doesn't bother him. I, on the other hand, am greatly bothered by it.

I have always been ahead of the curve in terms of people my age. I have more in common with 30-year-olds than people in college. Unfortunately, I would feel weird spending time with 30-year-olds, and I'm sure they'd feel the same about spending time with me. Most of my spare time is spent with my family. They just seem to get me.

How can I find people my age who think the way I do? I don't want to be the kind of girl who only spends time with her boyfriend. I would appreciate other relationships. -- LIZ IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LIZ: I agree that it's time to expand your circle of acquaintances. That's why I'm advising you to join a gym or some other physical activity group and start meeting people who are involved in physical fitness. None of the ones I know want to spend their time drinking and partying because they are more interested in eating and living healthfully. I'm sure if you try it, you will meet others who think the way you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15, and all of my friends my age and a grade lower have their belly buttons pierced. I have been asking my mom for a very long time and she doesn't have a problem with it, but my dad does. He won't let me get it done because he doesn't want me looking like trash at this age.

I don't want it to impress boys; I want it for my own beauty and to look good with a cute jewel to go with my summer outfits or bathing suits. They said to ask you if you think it's wrong to have a belly button pierced at the age of 15. Is it wrong? -- KYLIE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR KYLIE: I don't think that having a belly button pierced is a question of right or wrong. I suspect that your father's objection -- and I'm not sure I disagree with him -- is that he would prefer you make an impression by attracting attention in some other way. I'm suggesting you hold off for now and have it done when you're older -- providing you haven't changed your mind by then.

DEAR ABBY: 1. What do you call a person who is neither a morning lark nor a night owl? (That's me.)

2. What do you call someone who is neither a giver nor a taker? (That's me, too.)

Your answers will help me win a delicious meal! -- INQUISITIVE IN OTTAWA

DEAR INQUISITIVE: A person who is neither a lark nor a night owl is called a robin. Someone who is neither a giver nor a taker is probably a loner.