DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old son has been dating the daughter of one of my friends I'll call "Mona." We didn't set them up; they met at some parties. Last summer we discovered they were having sex because "Meghan" thought she was pregnant. Luckily, it turned out she wasn't. They broke up but have gotten back together recently.

When I asked Mona if she was putting Meghan on birth control, Mona said that she wouldn't because "that would be letting her know it's OK to have sex." I said, "Better safe than sorry!" and we left it at that.

I let my son use my car last weekend and found an opened box of emergency contraception on the floor. Because my son never answers his phone, I called Meghan and stressed to her that unprotected sex is irresponsible and that they aren't ready for a baby. I warned her to take precautions and get on birth control, and I helped her to make the arrangements.

Was it wrong to discuss this behind her mother's back? Should I tell Mona after promising Meghan I wouldn't say anything? What should I do? -- MOM VERSUS FRIEND

DEAR MOM: Wrong? You deserve a medal. And you should now have the conversation with your son that you should have had before the first pregnancy scare, stressing to him the importance of using condoms not only to protect himself and Meghan from an unplanned pregnancy, but also an STD if she isn't the only girl he's having sex with. Girls don't get pregnant all by themselves.

As to telling your friend Mona, who seems to have the parental insight of an ostrich where her daughter is concerned, keep your promise to Meghan and your lips sealed. Meghan needs a woman she can confide in, and your friend seems to prefer living in fantasyland rather than giving her daughter the support and guidance she needs.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Colorado. In my state marijuana is legal now. What do you think about my inviting my adult children (they are all over 21) and my aging dad to get stoned with me? I think it might stimulate conversation and motivate more family time than we spend together now. What do you think of "family night" with marijuana as a way to improve family unity? -- ORIGINAL THINKER IN DENVER

DEAR ORIGINAL THINKER: Were you stoned when you wrote this? If not, I think it's sad that your family would need pot in order to communicate or create family unity. While I applaud your desire to bring your family together, you can have a good time without inviting "Mary Jane." And that's what I'd recommend.

DEAR ABBY: May I comment about the question from "Unsure in the West" (April 6), who wanted to create scrapbooks out of all the cards and letters she received over the years? My generation (30s) is all about social media. "Unsure" mentioned that all the items she wanted to include were pre-Facebook. I am a bit old-fashioned (or maybe stubborn) so I don't do Facebook or Twitter, and I don't understand the importance of a "hashtag." I have no idea how to Skype, nor do I pay my bills online.

I think the scrapbook idea is wonderful. There is something special about having tangible items to go along with important milestones and memories. Even if the gifts themselves don't strike a chord with her friends, surely the consideration and time she puts into the scrapbooks will make her loved ones realize how important they are to her. I say, proceed with confidence. Your friends are lucky to have you. -- L.K. IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR L.K.: Like you, readers overwhelmingly support "Unsure" in her efforts to create scrapbooks of memories for her friends. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have also saved cards, letters, wedding photos and pictures of newborns, etc., for several decades. A few years ago, I simply returned them to the people who had sent them. Nearly all of the recipients squealed with delight as they thanked me, having realized I had gifted them with "time capsules" of their lives. Only one friend was offended that I had returned her items. She said she was "appalled" that I didn't cherish them myself. The joy expressed by the others superseded the angry friend. "Unsure," return those items to the senders! -- LINDA IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: I did the same thing with photos. But instead of returning them to the person(s) who gave them to me, I gave them to the children who were pictured in the photos. Others I saved and presented to the now-grown child's spouse as a wedding gift. So far they have been well-received. Most people are surprised to learn that I actually kept all these photos of them or their children for so long and appreciated the effort I put into the scrapbooks. -- MEMORY KEEPER

DEAR ABBY: I am not a crafter and I'm not very sentimental. I don't enjoy what I consider clutter. As I've grown older, I have done my best to pare down and eliminate things I no longer have use for. I have embraced technology. If "Unsure" were my friend, I would appreciate it more if she scanned anything she wanted to give back to me. Either way, I would probably view the scrapbook or e-book, and then deep-six it after the viewing. It crossed my mind that perhaps "Unsure" is cleaning out, and this is her way of getting rid of her "clutter." -- MAUREEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: Yes! Bundle and return the cards and letters with a note about what the correspondence has meant to you over the years. As a young adult, I lived all over the world and frequently wrote my friends and family about my life and what I was experiencing. Over the last few years I have received bundles from my mother, my sister and a friend -- all letters they had hung onto for 20 to 30 years. What a surprise and a joy. Reading these old cards and letters gave me a window into a world that no longer exists, and reminded me of who I was then and what my life was like. Yes, please give back the correspondence. -- MARIANNE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: I am an ophthalmologist, and all too often I see patients who have already lost some of their vision because they waited too long to schedule an appointment for an eye exam. Many times the reason was limited insurance or they couldn't afford the co-pay.

After helping nearly 1.8 million people, EyeCare America, a public service program of the Foundation of the American Academy of Ophthalmology, continues to match eligible seniors in need with volunteer ophthalmologists who provide a medical eye exam -- and up to one year of care -- at no out-of-pocket cost to the patient.

This July, as we celebrate our country's independence, invite your readers to also celebrate their personal independence by getting regular eye exams, especially as they age. Many eye diseases develop later in life. In fact, one in six people age 65 and older has a vision impairment that cannot be corrected with glasses or contact lenses.

Please help to save your readers from the falls, injuries, depression and social isolation that are associated with vision loss and join me in spreading the word about EyeCare America. Thank you for your help. -- CHARLES P. WILKINSON, M.D., CHAIR, EYECARE AMERICA

DEAR DR. WILKINSON: You're welcome. But I am the one who should thank you and the other members of the American Academy of Ophthalmology for their generosity in offering this program to seniors nationwide.

Readers, this is important and I know the need is great. To find out if you or your loved ones qualify for this program, visit www.eyecareamerica.org. (The online application does not request financial information.)

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws are pressuring me to let them take our small children for overnights and trips around the city. I'm extremely uncomfortable about it because I don't trust their supervision. They obviously love the kids, and I'm happy they're in our children's lives -- as long as they come to our house to visit.

There have been several instances in which they made some questionable decisions with respect to supervising my little ones in public. I have so far successfully dodged their requests, but it will be impossible to do it forever. If I tell them how I -- and their son -- feel, they will be hurt, especially because my parents routinely watch the kids outside our home.

What's the best way to handle this with the least hurt feelings? -- ST. LOUIS MOMMY

DEAR MOMMY: This is something you and your husband will have to discuss with his parents together. If you do it alone, you will forever be blamed for "favoring" your family over his. When the discussion happens, you should cite your reasons for feeling the way you do. I can't promise there won't be hurt feelings, because there probably already are, but your children's safety must come first.