DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Pete," and I are at a point in our lives where we're ready to start a family. We have already started trying. We both have college degrees, jobs and own our home. I have talked with my OB and have started making myself "baby-ready."

Friends and most of our family are happy we're trying to start a family. The problem is my parents seem less than enthused.

One night last week, my mother, dad, Pete and I were enjoying some local entertainment and drinks together. Mom got a tad sloshed and told me she wishes my older brother and his wife had a child first, "no offense to me." They have been trying for years and have gone to fertility clinics, but due to the cost, decided to stop trying until my sister-in-law earns her degree. I have talked to her about our plans, and she was happy for us.

Abby, I can't stop thinking about what my mom said. I fear bringing it up with her because she may not remember she said anything. Is it wrong for me to hold onto this? Pete and I are financially and emotionally ready for a happy addition to our family. I know he'll be a great dad. I wish my mother would realize this, too. -- "NO OFFENSE" IN OHIO

DEAR "NO OFFENSE": You are an adult and a married woman. You should not need anyone's "enthusiasm" beyond yours and your husband's to bring a child into this world.

You stated that your mother was "sloshed" when she made the remark. Alcohol-addled individuals often make inappropriate comments. Who knows what she meant when she said it? It may be she was thinking about the pain your brother and sister-in-law are experiencing because of their infertility issue.

Because her comment was hurtful, I think you should let her know so she can clarify -- if she even remembers saying it. And if she doesn't, suggest she cut back on her drinking because memory lapses can be a symptom of a drinking problem.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Merle's" daughter got engaged, and Merle threw an engagement party for her and the husband-to-be. The couple announced where they were registered in the Facebook invitation (which I thought was truly insensitive).

People arrived for the engagement party with gifts. I did not take one. I figured I'd wait until the wedding, which is a year away. I also thought, "What if they change their minds and don't get married?"

Was I wrong not to take a gift? I guess I just don't understand the current etiquette. -- STUMPED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR STUMPED: You accepted the invitation, didn't you? Because you did, you should have given the couple a gift. You did not have to take one to the party, but you should send something within a short time. (Suggestion: A nice picture frame to hold their engagement photo.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and so is my boyfriend. He's wonderful. We're very much in love and intend to be together for the rest of our lives, but my mother is causing major problems in our relationship. We're not allowed to see each other outside of school. Neither of us has a driver's license, and we're not getting them anytime soon.

Even if someone will be watching us the whole time, Mom says she's afraid we're going to "make out." We won't, and it's very distressing. She says she trusts me, but clearly she doesn't. She also says she approves of my boyfriend, but obviously that's not the case, either.

What can I do to convince her that we are trustworthy? -- DISTRESSED TEEN IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTRESSED TEEN: Not knowing your mother, it's hard to say what will ease her worries. However, at 16, you are at an age when you should be starting to date. Many teens start by going out in groups, which lessens the opportunity for "make-out" situations.

The problem with overprotecting a teenage girl is that it can prevent her from acquiring the necessary social skills she will need later to make mature judgments. It's important that your mother realize this, and please tell her I said so.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I disagree on whether it is OK for me to have a secret I do not wish to share with her. It doesn't affect her. It pertains to a situation 40 years ago, long before we met. After we got into an argument about it, I eventually told her what it was about.

There was a popular movie about the same situation. Whenever it came on TV and I watched it, I would get teary-eyed, and my wife would ask me what was wrong. I would say I didn't know because I wanted to keep the reason to myself.

Now I'm accused of having lied to her about it. My wife is adamant that spouses should have no secrets whatsoever from each other. The issue was something significant and private to me. We would appreciate your comments. -- DISAGREEING IN MARYLAND

DEAR DISAGREEING: Would your wife have felt better if, when she saw you tear up and asked what was wrong, you had responded honestly and told her it was something personal, painful and none of her business?

What you did wasn't lying; it was protecting yourself from having to discuss something you weren't ready to reveal. And when you did, instead of being sympathetic, she attacked you. Well, now that you have shared your secret and are being punished for it, are you more comfortable with the idea of telling her "all"? (I doubt it.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a lake house and invited a couple (close friends) to join us for a few days. The husband has cancer and has been taking chemo. We wanted them both to rest, as the wife is his only caregiver. We all thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to relax and enjoy nature.

The second night they were there, the husband went to bed very early and the three of us were visiting. At one point, my friend went into the kitchen. When she didn't come out, I went to check on her and found her close to a diabetic coma.

It was very frightening. She hadn't eaten much dinner and her blood sugar had crashed to a dangerous level. Fortunately, we knew what to do because my dad was diabetic.

We were an hour from the nearest hospital and had no cell reception. We did not know where her medication was. My friend was making no sense and couldn't remember.

I want to respect my friends' privacy, but if you travel with someone you know has a medical condition, is it OK to ask where they keep their meds in case of an emergency? How do you approach the subject? -- CARING FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: Of course it's OK. And a perfect way to lead up to that question would be to relate the story you have written to me.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, for the most part, is a happy-go-lucky, funny person during the day. But once we sit down to dinner, he starts criticizing and making mean comments about me. Once dinner is over, he's back to being pleasant.

I have addressed this with him to no avail. I have tried ignoring his comments, changing the subject, asking calmly for him to make his concerns known before or after rather than during the meal. I have suggested we eat dinner away from the table or separately. I have sought the counsel of a therapist and tried implementing her suggestions.

I am at my wits' end. I'm a well-educated, good person, a good wife and co-provider. I do not understand why he acts this way at the dinner table. Your thoughts, Abby? -- IT'S ALL GOOD, UNTIL ...

DEAR IT'S ALL GOOD: When someone tells me, "It's all good" and then describes a marriage in which her husband beats her down emotionally once a day, I have to wonder what her definition of "good" is. For whatever reason, your husband appears to be trying to punish you for something by deliberately upsetting you every evening.

Was it his behavior that caused you to seek counseling or something else? I ask because I think the wrong spouse may have seen the therapist. Unless he decides to get help and find a healthier way of channeling his anger/frustration, nothing will change, because as it stands, there have been no "consequences" for his actions.