Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I'm a nurse who has been providing flu vaccinations for customers in a big box store. Most of them regard us health care workers as people who want to keep them healthy. My problem is parents who use me as a threat of punishment for their kids.

I have had parents drag their screaming, crying kids over to me, telling them that if they don't behave they are going to "make me" give them a shot. One woman pulled her daughter by the arm, sat her in the chair and said, "OK, give her a shot!" The little girl's eyes filled with tears and she panicked.

I looked the woman in the eye and told her I didn't appreciate her making her daughter afraid of me. I told the little one that sometimes we have to take medicine that might hurt us or taste bad, but only because we hoped it would make her better. Then I assured her I wasn't giving her a shot. The woman laughed nervously, said she was "just joking" and rushed her child away.

I worked hard to become a nurse and my goal is keeping people healthy. Parents: Please don't use health care workers as punishment. You're not helping us to do our job when you can't do yours. -- NOT THE BAD GUY IN CLINTON, TENN.

DEAR NOT THE BAD GUY: It's unfortunate, but some parents do this not only with health care workers, but also with police officers, and it's an unbelievably stupid practice. To make a child fearful of the professionals they may at some point need is counterproductive and poor parenting. If a child is acting up and being disruptive in a public place, a better solution is to remove him or her from the premises until you have regained control of the situation.

DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old daughter was killed in an auto accident a couple of months after she graduated from high school with honors. She had planned to go to college and become a nurse.

Right after graduation she went on a senior trip to Mexico. Two days later she called me wanting to come home. She said everyone was drinking, doing drugs, having sex with strangers and she didn't like it. I bought her a plane ticket and she came home the next day. She died two months later.

Eight months went by and I was having a particularly hard time one night. I prayed for a sign from God that she was in heaven and doing well.

The next day, the day before Good Friday, I went to my mailbox. Inside was a postcard from my daughter. She had mailed it from Mexico the day before she returned. It was in mint condition and had been lost in the mail for 10 months.

The card read: "It is beautiful here. I'm OK. I miss you and love you, Mommy. Love, Brandi." I was so happy and relieved! I was able to move on with my life after that. I signed up for college a few weeks later and earned my degree four years later.

Thank you, Abby, for letting me share my "miracle" with you. -- SHARON IN LOUISIANA

DEAR SHARON: My goodness, you don't have to thank me. Your letter moved me to the point of tears. Although I have printed many letters about pennies from heaven, this is the first time I have heard about a postcard. I'm glad it gave you the comfort and validation that you needed.

DEAR ABBY: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I'm finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I'm seeing.

"Brent" is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have been dating for a little over a week and he has already given me keys to his place. (I have a roommate, or I would have given him my keys, too!)

I love him. He loves me. I am so happy. I feel calm and confident about how we're progressing. This is a first for me. I know it's unusually fast, but my parents got married six weeks after they met, and they're still happy together after 37 years.

Love at first sight is rare, but I think this is it. Your thoughts? -- WOWED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR WOWED: I'm glad for your parents, but because they married six weeks after they met does not mean you must repeat history. Right now, you and Brent appear to be caught up in a whirl of endorphins and adrenaline. Because you asked for my thoughts I'll share them: Slow down until both of you have your feet back on the ground because that is how solid relationships are built. Your folks were an exception to the rule. If you don't believe me, ask them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 62-year-old male. My problem is I have never been married, and when I go on dates, women always want to know why I'm still single.

The reasons are financial and also that I'm allergic to cats. (A lot of women own cats.) I have never made much money, and I live with my mother. I can't afford to move out, and even when I had a place of my own, it didn't make much difference. I'd like to be married, but this has become a catch-22. No one wants to marry me because I have never been married.

I have looked this issue up online and it is a huge problem; women definitely discriminate against never-married men. Sometimes I wonder if I should lie and say I'm a widower. What can I say to women who interrogate me about this? -- SEARCHING FOR A MATE IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SEARCHING: If you lie about the fact that you're a lifelong bachelor, at some point the truth will come out and your credibility will be shot. That's why I'm advising you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Your marital status is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is meant to be married. You say you are 62 and live with your mother because you can't afford to live on your own. Has it occurred to you that you might not be able to afford being married?

Also, marriage is a big adjustment for anyone -- male or female. There is no guarantee that a person who has become set in his or her ways can successfully make that transition. This is not to say that you shouldn't have companionship, but you don't need a wife for that. A good friend -- or several -- could provide it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 30 years had an affair a year and a half ago. We struggled through the aftermath and are trying to restart our relationship. He remained in touch with the other woman until she finally pulled the plug on him, and now he has no interest in talking with me about our relationship or how to improve it.

He is distant and refuses to say "I love you." He doesn't initiate hugs or kisses. He will initiate sex every so often, but I am usually the one who seems to need more contact.

When I question him, he tells me everything is all right and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. We have good times, but I really feel his lack of affection.

I don't want to leave this man. I love him dearly and have for many years. Should I keep waiting for the renewal or has my membership here lapsed and I'm just kidding myself? -- FROZEN OUT IN ALASKA

DEAR FROZEN OUT: Because you love him dearly and don't want to leave him, stay put. However, everything isn't all right, and you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Your husband appears to be punishing you for something, and unless you get to the bottom of it, your relationship with him will remain icy cold.

A licensed marriage counselor may be able to help you rebuild your relationship, but it won't happen unless he is willing to try. If he isn't, then you should go without him and let the therapist help you decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: If you will print this, it would help pharmacy technicians everywhere.

Drive-thru windows are for convenience, not speed. We are not handing out hamburgers. But if you have new insurance, questions for a pharmacist, a large order or anything out of the ordinary, please come into the store. To do otherwise is rude to the people in line behind you who will blame us because they had to wait.

You take a new insurance card to your doctor, and you should do the same at the pharmacy. We're not psychic and we don't automatically know your insurance has changed. Entering new data correctly is time-consuming, and you are not the only one who "forgot" -- so refrain from directing your impatience at us.

Don't hang onto a new prescription for weeks and present it to us in a hurry. Bring it to the pharmacy to be placed in your file, then call a day ahead to say you want it filled. Call in advance for maintenance drugs, too. That way, you won't have to wait for your medication.

Do not panic about holidays, weekends or weather. WE ARE OPEN. We will need the prescription number or name to fill it correctly.

Pay close attention to the number of refills and the expiration dates on each vial. If you are out of refills, obviously we can't fill it without a new prescription from your doctor.

Abby, we start early, stay late and skip breaks to help the sick. Common sense and accountability are needed. We are here to help patients efficiently and courteously. Please remind your readers that pharmacy employees deserve the same in return. -- STRESSED TECH IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STRESSED TECH: My hat is off to you and I'm glad to help. Your suggestions are sensible. Customer service is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and working with people who are sick, hungry or stressed can make it even more difficult.

Readers, losing one's temper and being rude will not improve service, and may impede it. I have found that the process of picking up and dropping off prescriptions goes more smoothly if it's done at other than peak hours.