DEAR ABBY: I'm married to the love of my life. I can't imagine loving a man more than I love "Wayne," and I know he feels the same about me. The problem is, he's always telling stories about things he has done, including past relationships, in graphic detail.

I have heard all of them repeatedly, and I'm sick of them. When I tell him this he says, "Fine! I won't talk to you anymore." Wayne never talks about our past, present or future. How can I get him to stop reliving "the good ol' days" and start focusing on our life together? -- CURRENT EVENT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CURRENT EVENT: Wayne may react defensively when you say you're "sick" of his stories because he feels you are criticizing him. Perhaps if you told him that hearing him dwell on past relationships is hurtful, he might be willing to enlarge his repertoire.

If that doesn't help, it's possible your husband feels his best years are behind him. Past conquests and adventures can be more fun to dwell on than the new lawnmower, the plumbing that needs replacement, which friends are sick and the most recent one who died. Things might improve if you work together to create activities that will spice up your lives and give him some new material. Try it. It might benefit you both.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with "Bob" for 12 years. He doesn't work and doesn't take care of our children because he says it's "not his responsibility." I have supported him all this time, yet nothing is good enough.

He has cheated on me several times. During his third affair, he had two kids with the other woman. He doesn't understand why I don't trust him and why I insist on seeing his cellphone. The last time I was able to get ahold of it, he broke down the bathroom door trying to get it back.

He threatens to move out, and if he does, that will be "the last I hear from him." I would be relieved if he went. I have so much anger toward him. I love him, but at this point love doesn't have anything to do with it.

I have asked him several times to leave, but he just keeps saying he'll be leaving on his own terms. I can't continue like this anymore. He brings out the worst in me and I hate it. What do I do? -- HAD IT IN PHOENIX

DEAR HAD IT: That you have tolerated this behavior for 12 years boggles my mind. Because this philandering freeloader has resided with you for so long, you may have to go through formal eviction proceedings to get rid of him. You have given him a free ride, and you may need the services of a lawyer to pry him out of there. If you do, consider it money well spent.

DEAR ABBY: If a spouse keeps photos of a college sweetheart after 50 years, what does it mean? Does it mean he is still carrying a torch for that person and doesn't want to forget her? -- SUSPICIOUS IN HOUSTON

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I doubt it, but if you want to be sure, the person you should ask is your husband. After 50 years, the "torch" may be too heavy to carry -- or completely out.

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from "Self-Conscious in Georgia" (May 15), a young man who is insecure about the scar from his heart surgery. I have had three surgeries for congenital defects, my first at 2 years old. Because many women's fashions expose the upper chest, I applied anti-scar products, which greatly reduced the size and color of my scars.

Swimwear lines have sun-blocking swim shirts that are quick-drying and comfortable. At the beach, "Self-Conscious" could wear a beach-themed T-shirt and say he is reducing his sun exposure, which is a good idea these days.

As to anyone protesting his not going shirtless, true friends accept your choices, no matter the circumstances. They won't call you out for not following the herd.

And another thing: The young man might benefit from a cardiac support group to lessen his feelings of isolation or inadequacy. He suffered trauma that led to and created that scar. Now he deserves to be happy on his own terms. -- WAS THERE ONCE AND I'M STILL HERE

DEAR STILL HERE: Thank you for your comments. Readers were quick to offer messages of support to "Self-Conscious":

DEAR ABBY: I am a registered nurse. That scar can be faded by using pure cocoa butter (in stick form, not lotion). It can be purchased at the pharmacy.

I would also like to let him know that in this part of the country, survivors are known as members of the "Zipper Club." When I see patients with this scar, I know they have had open heart surgery. It alerts me to a whole realm of information before anything is said and directs how care is given in case of emergency. Please let "Self-Conscious" know his scar is not an eyesore, but a gift of life. -- PROUD R.N. IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: "Self-Conscious" might benefit from getting a tattoo. A recent TV program aired a segment showing women with mastectomies receiving amazing designs to cover or beautify their scars. With a good tattoo artist, these pieces can be life-altering and the artwork stunning. -- JANET IN ANNAPOLIS, MD.

DEAR ABBY: I broke my ankle a few years ago. A wonderful surgeon and a fantastic physical therapist got me walking again, but I was left with several large, raised scars. I put wheat germ oil (full of vitamin E) on them in the morning and evening, and they are barely visible now. -- ONLINE READER IN ISRAEL

DEAR ABBY: For many years I dated a young man with a similar scar, and it was something I found endearing. To me, it was no different than freckles or a birthmark. It was part of what made him unique. We all have our stories and history. His scar is an opening to share his. -- ROSE IN NORTHAMPTON, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: I have a young friend who had open-heart surgery when she was a high school senior. On the night of her prom, she wore a strapless dress with her "red badge of courage" on full display. -- SANDRA IN ROCHESTER, N.H.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband is sick or needs to have surgery, he refuses to tell his family and doesn't want me to. This puts me in a very awkward position. I'm damned if I do tell them because he will be upset with me, and damned if I don't because his family won't trust me, and I don't want things that way.

Invariably, when he gets home, he calls his family and tells them all about his surgery, and I'm left looking like I withheld the information, when it's not me at all. I have asked him what if he dies? His family will be upset not only by the tragedy, but also at me for having kept them in the dark.

I'm considering leaving him over this. I don't deserve this from him. And no, he won't see a counselor and I won't do it alone, so do you have any other advice than that? -- IN A DIFFICULT POSITION

DEAR IN A DIFFICULT POSITION: You should not be made to feel that you're stuck in the middle. It would be nice if your husband understood that when he is sick enough to be hospitalized that you might need the emotional support his family could offer. But since it's not going to happen, he should make plain to his family that he prefers to be the bearer of this kind of news, and the reason they aren't hearing it from you is because he wants it that way.

DEAR ABBY: I love my sister and enjoy chatting with her, but our schedules make it difficult to connect. When we do speak, her husband often interjects or starts another conversation with her, as if she isn't on the phone. She also settles spats between her toddlers and other things her husband could manage while we're talking.

When this happens I say, "I can tell you're tied up. Can we talk later when things settle down?" Her reply: "We can talk now. Things are always crazy around here."

As it stands, we speak only a few times a year, and I'd like her undivided attention. I have tried bringing this up a number of times, but she feels life doesn't stand still for anyone.

Is it too much to ask for 30 minutes, three times a year? We live several states apart, so having a face-to-face isn't an option. Any help would be appreciated, because I'm hurt. -- MISSING MY SISTER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MISSING YOUR SISTER: I don't blame you for feeling hurt, because apparently your sister isn't interested in having the kind of contact you would like. It may be that her husband is ultra-controlling -- hence the constant interruptions from him -- or that her household is so disorganized she's in the middle of a whirlwind.

If you haven't already, write her a letter and express your feelings. It's one way of getting your thoughts across without being interrupted. I don't think 30 minutes three times a year is a lot to ask of her. Propose setting a specific time to talk when her kids and husband aren't around. Then cross your fingers and hope she sees the light.