DEAR ABBY: I'm in desperate need of help. I have been with my girlfriend for four years. With every long-term relationship, there are bound to be issues. I haven't felt loved by her in a long time, and I think I have fallen out of love with her. I can't even tell her that I love her anymore because I don't want to lie.

When we make love, it's dull and boring. I want to feel the way I used to about her. When I was near her, my hairs used to stand up, my heart would race, my body would quiver and I would never want to let her go. How can I feel that way about her again? -- WANTS THAT OLD FEELING

DEAR WANTS: The problem with relationships is that they can only be brand-new once. With the passage of time, to some extent the excitement fades. That's where the "work" comes in.

Longtime couples must make an effort to keep their relationship fresh and exciting. This means introducing spontaneity and new experiences to each other.

You say you haven't felt loved by her in a long time. My advice would be to talk to her about it. Because you can't bring yourself to tell her you love her, has it occurred to you that she might feel as though she has been emotionally abandoned by you?

If you want that old feeling back, you and your lady will need to resume communication on a meaningful level. It's not always easy, but honesty can revive a relationship that's wilting.

DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend in a house he owns. We're five hours away from my parents and siblings and the town in which I grew up. It's a beautiful house with lots of land, and I can imagine raising a family here. However, I always thought that if I had children, I'd live close to the rest of my family. I would want my parents nearby so they could lend a hand, and I want my kids to have a close relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

My boyfriend is open to the idea of selling the house, but I'm not sure I would want him to. What should I do? I love this house, but how can I start a family so far from my own? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Before you make any decisions, discuss this with your parents and see if their vision of grandparenthood is similar to your fantasy. Take into consideration how close they are to your siblings and how involved they are in each other's lives. Be sure that the kind of extended family relationship you envision is realistic.

If everyone is on board, then you and your boyfriend should talk about what relocating will mean in terms of not only selling this house, but also the impact it might have on your ability to earn a living. This property may be terrific, but if it cannot offer you the lifestyle you wish for, then you would be better served to move. But only you can decide that.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Chris" for almost five years. He's my high school sweetheart. We still live with our parents, but we feel we're ready to move out and start our lives together.

The issue is I have a cat ("Silky") and a dog named "Chips"; Chris can't stand them. He has said he doesn't want Silky to live in our home and he would make her an outdoor cat. He also doesn't want Chips to come with us because Chips can be whiny and vocal.

I feel it's my responsibility to take my pets with me when I move out. I don't want to abandon them and leave them with my parents, and I absolutely refuse to put them up for adoption. I feel if I decide to bring them with me, Chris will make them feel miserable. Silky is afraid of him, and Chris doesn't like Chips getting close to him.

I love my boyfriend, but I love my pets, too. Please tell me what to do! -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STUCK: Wake up! You are an animal lover; your boyfriend clearly has an antipathy toward them. Your cat is afraid of Chris because she knows he doesn't like her or he did something that scared her. If he makes Silky become an outdoor cat (or she gets loose "by accident"), she may be at serious risk. And your dog will be miserable on the receiving end of constant rejection.

It is very important that you learn to live independently. Because Chris is your high school sweetheart and you haven't dated many others, it's important that you take some time and date other people before deciding to move in with anyone. You and Chris may care about each other, but your compatibility is in question because, face it, you two have differences.

DEAR ABBY: I'm not sure if this has been mentioned in your column before, but I would like to make your readers aware of something while they travel. When staying at a hotel, it is important never to reveal personal or financial information over the in-room phone, even if the caller claims to be an employee of the hotel.

Sometimes scammers will call the front desk of a hotel and provide a generic name or room number. Unsuspecting desk agents may transfer the call to that room, and the scammer will then pose as a desk agent. He or she will say something plausible to get the guest to provide credit information over the phone, and in a flash, the guest is a victim of theft.

If such a thing happens, guests should immediately dial the front desk and ask the agent if a call for that reason was intentionally placed to the room. Very likely, it will not have been. -- JOHN IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR JOHN: Whoa! Travelers can never be too careful. Thank you for the wake-up call.

DEAR ABBY: My son's out-of-town wedding is coming up. My mother will attend and be traveling with me. I am single, and my mom is also single. She's planning on sharing a room with me.

Abby, my mom has a severe snoring problem, and I'm a very light sleeper. I cannot sleep with a snorer! I don't want to ruin my time at my son's wedding, and she's upset about the added expense of another room, which neither of us can really afford, but I don't know what else to do. -- MOTHER OF THE GROOM

DEAR MOTHER OF THE GROOM: The separate room may be a luxury you can't "really afford," but incurring the expense may be worth it so you won't sleepwalk through your son's wedding. I'm not recommending earplugs because, while they may dull the racket, they won't completely eliminate the sound of severe snoring.

P.S. If your mother's physician doesn't know about her snoring, it should be discussed so the doctor can make sure it isn't a symptom of a serious health problem.

DEAR ABBY: My son has two children who are in temporary foster care, and has visitation with the ex's stepsister, who got the right to grant visitation. Recently we had a birthday party for them. All the grandparents, aunts and uncles were invited. It was a kiddie party, of course, and I jumped into the pool and played with the children. We had a ball!

A few weeks later, I heard the stepsister's mother had said I had "no business" playing in the pool with the kids. I was taken aback. Isn't that what grandmas are for? I love playing with the little ones.

Was I wrong for not "acting my age"? Did I make a fool of myself? The custody fight is ongoing and I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize my son winning custody. -- WORRIED IN NEW YORK

DEAR WORRIED: I don't think you did anything inappropriate. I suspect the stepsister's mother was jealous that she wasn't the person in the pool, which is why she didn't speak up during the party and you had to hear it weeks later secondhand.

DEAR ABBY: On July 31 you printed my question about throwing a 25th anniversary party for my parents. I want to let you know that instead of taking on an expensive dinner that I can't afford right now, I'm collaborating with a cousin to have a chef come into their home to prepare a nice meal for them and the people who participated in their wedding. I felt it was a much more personal and cost-effective way to give them the nice anniversary they deserve. Thank you for your advice! -- SON OF SILVERS

DEAR S.O.S.: I'm delighted you wrote to share your solution. The idea is terrific. I am sure your parents will be thrilled and other readers will appreciate your ingenuity. Thank you!