DEAR ABBY: I am a male in the training department at my office. A lot of times, because the people I train are new hires, there are dress code violations from people who appear to be testing the limits. Most of the violations involve women who wear clothing that's too revealing, in spite of the fact they receive a document at the start of training explaining what is and is not appropriate attire.

I feel uncomfortable addressing dress code issues with the opposite sex. I have always asked a female in the department to do it for me. My problem is, my manager has told me I need to be able to deal with issues like this if I want to move forward in my career.

My question to you and your readers is, as a woman, would you feel more uncomfortable with a male boss addressing a "too much cleavage" or "skirt too short" issue than you would with another female? And have you any suggestions for wording in these situations? -- DRESSED FOR SUCCESS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR DRESSED FOR SUCCESS: Speaking for myself, I think I'd prefer to hear that message from another woman -- however, my preference is beside the point. You have a job to do, and that is to enforce the rules of your company. So when you tell a female employee that she's not complying with the dress code, use the wording in the employee handbook or the document the person received when she was hired. (Hopefully, the wording is specific.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about where and when to have a retirement party. I know it's inappropriate for families to host a baby shower, but is that true of a retirement party?

My husband has worked for a nonprofit for 14 years and will retire in a few months. There isn't an appropriate site for a party at his work. I have suggested an open house at our home a couple of weeks after his retirement date. My daughter thinks her house would be better because we are not supposed to have it.

My son-in-law dislikes entertaining at home, so I know it would be stressful for them. If we have it at our house, we can encourage friends and co-workers to come over again and stay in touch. I love to entertain and would happily prepare the food and decorate. Am I on the right track, Abby? -- HAPPY THAT HUBBY'S RETIRING

DEAR HAPPY: You're absolutely on the right track. No rule of etiquette forbids you from hosting the party for your husband if you wish.

According to Emily Post: "A retirement party may ... be given by family and friends instead of -- or in addition to -- a company party. It's generally a good idea to invite a few of the retiree's close work mates. Because they share a work history with the retiree, they'll be able to speak of specific accomplishments in any speeches and toasts."

DEAR ABBY: I recently had an interesting conversation with a friend after a funeral. It was about cremation versus burial, and I'd be interested in your thoughts and those of your readers.

We noted that cremation has become more common, and guessed that one of the main reasons might be funeral and plot costs. After thinking about it, we thought there might be other considerations propelling people toward the practice of cremation.

In modern society, individuals and families seem less tied to one area, and also, larger communities make it more difficult to make trips to cemeteries. Any insight on this trend? -- PLOTTING AND PLANNING IN ARIZONA

DEAR PLOTTING AND PLANNING: Cremation is nothing new. It has been practiced since ancient times -- 5,000 years ago and possibly even longer than that. The early Romans did it, but with the rise of Christianity it fell out of favor. (It is accepted by the Christian religion today.) Buddhists, Hindus and Sikhs commonly cremate their deceased. However, it is opposed by traditional Jewish culture, which believes our bodies belong to God and we are not supposed to actively destroy God's property, and by the Muslim religion.

You and your friend have covered the major considerations that make people choose cremation instead of burial. I would only add that in the past, I have heard from readers who could not bear to part with the remains of their loved one, and who have kept the ashes in their home. Others would like to have their own ashes co-mingled with their loved one's at the appropriate time and placed in a columbarium. However, if readers have anything they would like to add, I'll share some of their input with you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 75 and my daughter just turned 50. We both have nice figures and are stylish. On a number of occasions over the years, when my daughter and I are together, people have commented that we look like sisters. I usually smile and say thanks, and my daughter just smiles.

Recently, she asked me, "Does that mean I look old?" Turning 50 may have made her a little more age-conscious. She looks great for any age, and I would like your suggestion for a good reply that will boost her self-confidence. -- GEORGIA IN TEXAS

DEAR GEORGIA: Tell your daughter that people may say you look like sisters because you strongly resemble each other. Many mothers and daughters do. They may also be trying to pay you a compliment, implying that you look much younger than your years. I'm sure it's not meant to imply that your daughter looks old.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column often and find it deeply troubling when girls write you lamenting that they are "still single." I'm 18, in my freshman year of college and I have never dated. I'm perfectly OK with this.

I'm not writing to bash girls who are in high school relationships, but rather to show there's an alternative. Abby, please remind them that it's fully acceptable for us to spend our teenage years single if we prefer. No one should feel pressured into a relationship because "everyone else is dating."

Girlfriends, if you're not ready for dating, then focus on discovering your beliefs, your purpose and what your talents, passions and values are. If you choose to do it accompanied by a partner, that's fine. But if you prefer to journey alone or with your friends, that's just as valid. -- INDEPENDENT IN RACINE, WIS.

DEAR INDEPENDENT: I agree! You are a self-confident, mature young woman, and you're delivering an important message to your contemporaries. I hope they'll give your message the consideration it deserves.

DEAR ABBY: I recently read an idea that I think should be shared with every parent in the world. You and your child/grandchild should establish a family password to be used if the child is ever approached by a stranger who says, "Your mother is sick and she asked me to come and get you." By asking for the password, the child throws the would-be kidnapper off guard, and the child has an opportunity to flee. -- VIGILANT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR VIGILANT: That suggestion is one that appears on many child safety websites, and it's certainly worth mentioning here. I'm sure many parents and grandparents will thank you for submitting it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl in eighth grade, wrestling with a problem I never thought I'd have -- a crush. I have liked "Garrison" for two years now. He's funny, sweet and cute, and he has stood up for me against bullies. We aren't in any classes this year, so I only see him in the halls.

I have no clue what to do, since I have never had a crush before and I'm not going to date yet. It hurts my heart. I know crushes are fleeting, but can you help me figure out what to do in the meantime? -- CRUSHED BY CRUSHING IN TENNESSEE

DEAR CRUSHED: Your crush seems to be a young man with character, courage and self-confidence -- because that's what it takes to stand up to bullies. Because he stood up for you, he already knows who you are. So when you see him in the hall, smile and say "Hi." That's not being pushy; it's being friendly. And if you're sitting around with an aching heart, I have a solution: Get up and get moving. Join a club, a sport, dance class or do some volunteering.