DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school and will graduate in the first semester of my senior year. Someday I would like to be a stay-at-home mom. I have no interest in going to college. I feel it would be a waste of money for me to go when I don't intend to use my degree.

To say my parents are disappointed in me over this is putting it mildly. They have a life planned for me that includes college. I would also like to move away to somewhere where it's warm year-round, and they don't like that idea either.

How do I make them understand that this is my life and everything will be OK? -- UNINTERESTED IN IDAHO

DEAR UNINTERESTED: I'll paraphrase an old proverb: "When man makes plans, God laughs." What it means in your case is that a smart cookie stays flexible.

Let's say, for instance, that you get the life you fantasize about: You marry a man who adores you, doesn't mind that you have only a high school degree and is wealthy enough to support you. You have two or three beautiful children together and things are going great.

But what if, heaven forbid, he becomes seriously ill and can't work -- or worse, drops dead, leaving you the sole support of those kids? It has been known to happen. (And then, of course, there's also the possibility of divorce, which has been known to happen, too.)

Be smart. Listen to your parents, and arm yourself with the best education you can possibly attain because the reality is, one day you may need to use it.

DEAR ABBY: The school year has started and many high school girls like me are faced with a similar problem: how to politely decline when a boy asks you to a dance.

Whether it be homecoming, winter formal or prom, some boys go all out and ask girls in elaborate and creative ways. I don't know what to do in these situations if I don't want to go with the boy who is asking me. I feel bad saying "no" because of all the work they put into it, and also sometimes there is an audience watching. Should I just go anyway? -- SARATOGA TEEN

DEAR SARATOGA TEEN: If "many" girls share your problem, it's news to me. Most of the ones I hear from worry that they won't be asked.

If the young man has made a production out of inviting you, say thank you and that you're flattered, but you'll have to think about it and will get back to him later. When you refuse the invitation, it should be done privately so you won't embarrass the boy.

P.S. That said, keep this in mind -- sometimes, a girl ends up having a good time with the person she least expected to.

DEAR ABBY: I frequently receive requests via Facebook and other social media sites asking for prayers for people who are ill or suffering a loss. I'm not a religious person, but I would like to acknowledge their pain and extend my sympathy. Any suggestions? -- CHALLENGED IN TUCSON

DEAR CHALLENGED: That you are not a religious person doesn't mean that you're not a caring and sensitive one. When you receive news that someone you know is going through a rough patch, respond by saying you are sorry for his or her pain, and that he or she is in your thoughts.

DEAR ABBY: Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I would like to share some advice with your readers from someone who has volunteered in shelters for many years.

1. Please do not volunteer on Thanksgiving. It's the day most people volunteer, and there are always more volunteers than homeless people.

2. If you want to make donations, please drop them off a few days before or a few days after. It will allow the shelter time to store all the donations and to take an inventory of what is still needed.

3. Shelters need not only food, but also paper goods such as plates, napkins, toilet paper and plastic utensils.

4. Because refrigerator space is limited, don't bring anything that must be refrigerated.

5. Most shelters pay rent, water, electric and telephone bills and lease office equipment, etc. A check or cash donation is ideal. It's also tax deductible.

If in doubt, call ahead (at least a week in advance) and ask what is needed. -- YEAR-ROUND VOLUNTEER

DEAR VOLUNTEER: Kudos to you for so generously giving your time to help others who are in need. I'm sure my readers will appreciate your insight. Planning ahead and knowing what is needed make perfect sense.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law were married last year at a courthouse. They are now planning a "real" wedding. Our daughter-in-law thinks we should pay for the rehearsal dinner, and my husband thinks he isn't required to. Please help with this dilemma. Are we expected to pay for a rehearsal dinner since they have been married a year already? -- NEW MOTHER-IN-LAW IN OHIO

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW: Celebrations of this kind are gifts. Regardless of what your daughter-in-law is saying, they are not mandatory. While she may expect you to pay for the dinner, no rule of etiquette requires you to do it. Please tell your husband I said to hang onto his wallet.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing you on behalf of a friend. No matter where her husband is -- at home, at a friend's, walking into a store or walking around town -- he's always dropping his pants to tuck in his shirt. One of these days someone is going to think he's flashing and have him arrested. His wife is afraid it will happen.

My friend has made comments to him about it, but he still continues. Please give me some advice because someone else may have the same problem, and it may save another family from this embarrassment. -- A FRIEND IN ST. PAUL

DEAR FRIEND: Your friend's concerns are legitimate. A man dropping his pants in a public place is, to say the least, attention-getting. If his concern is really that his shirts creep up, suggest that your friend talk to a tailor -- many cleaners have them in their shops -- about how to prevent the problem from happening. During a Minnesota winter, she could save him from catching pneumonia from the bottom up.

DEAR ABBY: My four girls and I recently moved from Texas to Florida to help out my in-laws. My husband, "Jeff," made a big deal about not wanting to move without a job, so he stayed behind.

Now I feel like a single parent, and even though I hide it from my daughters, I am depressed. I haven't been able to find work, and Jeff says he doesn't want to come here for several more months.

My husband and I have been together 14 years, and this is tearing me up inside. He seems to be treating this issue as a joke. I suspect he likes not having the responsibility of a wife and kids. Our youngest is 6 months old and she's growing up without her daddy! Please help me figure this out. -- LONELY AND DEPRESSED

DEAR LONELY: How long has this been going on? Three weeks? Three months? Tell your husband that because you can no longer tolerate being separated, you are moving back to Texas. Be sure to mention that the responsibility of helping his parents should not be yours alone. Your concerns about your baby girl are valid. She should be bonding with both her parents right now -- and the separation may make it more difficult for her.

DEAR ABBY: Last February we lost my 14-year-old niece to suicide. Needless to say, it has been very hard on the family, especially her father, who is my brother. The two of them were inseparable.

Her mother has been playing the "perfect mother" card since then, even though all they did was fight. Her latest move has the entire family appalled. "Mom" is planning a birthday party for my niece, with a DJ and everything, even though she never had one for her while she was alive.

We are all worried about my brother's state of emotional well being and how he will respond once he finds out. How do I approach her with my concerns and put a stop to the party? -- APPALLED AUNT IN THE EAST

DEAR APPALLED: You shouldn't and you can't. Have a talk with your brother about this and suggest grief counseling for himself and his wife if they haven't already had any. The poor woman may be planning to have the party out of guilt because she didn't host one while her daughter was alive, or because her relationship with the girl wasn't a good one. She may also be unable to accept that her child is gone and not thinking rationally. What a sad situation.

DEAR ABBY: My wife cleans our hand-held vacuum in the kitchen sink. I think this particular appliance is probably the dirtiest one in the house and should be cleaned outside, not in the kitchen sink where food is prepared. She says she cleans the sink thoroughly afterward. I'm grossed out by the whole thing. What do you think? -- PEEVED UP NORTH

DEAR PEEVED: I think you're grossed out by the idea that your hand-held vacuum is the dirtiest appliance in the house, but please calm yourself. People wash all kinds of things in the kitchen sink -- children, pet dishes, the soles of shoes. As long as your wife cleans and sanitizes the sink afterward, you should be safe.