DEAR ABBY: After a year of separation and divorce, I have decided to dip into the online dating world at 45. My plan was to carefully select three to five men over the next few months and just date, without diving into a relationship or into bed.

To my surprise, the first man I met, "Darren," is a great guy. He treats me wonderfully, is respectful, makes me laugh, and I love spending time with him. Now I'm no longer interested in meeting anyone else. But I am forcing myself to stick to "the plan."

Darren is aware of this. He respects my decision, but says he'll convince me to choose him. Am I making a mistake by continuing to date others? I have real feelings for Darren and feel awkward about continuing with my plan. I think I should guard my heart. Perhaps dating others will help me take things more slowly. Any thoughts? -- CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

DEAR OPTIMISTIC: If you hadn't met someone as compatible as Darren, I would say full speed ahead with your plan. But if you feel awkward going out with others, then you shouldn't be doing it.

This is not to say you should rush into anything with Darren. It takes time to really get to know someone. Take the time because in the early months of a relationship, both parties are in the "selling" phase. You can always decide to go back to Plan A.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Diane" lives across the country and is an active alcoholic. I have been sober for 13 years, with the exception of a relapse in 2012. I have an 11-year-old daughter.

In addition to the alcoholism, Diane is in an abusive marriage. I have seen it firsthand when I visited her. During each of these visits we have argued, she and her husband have fought, and Diana has drunk heavily.

I have decided to not expose my daughter to my sister's drama. It was sad and stressful for me when I witnessed it. Diana is hurt and now refuses to speak to me. Did I make the right decision? -- SAFE & SOBER IN OAKLAND

DEAR SAFE & SOBER: I'm sorry your sister is hurt, but as a parent, it's up to you to decide what you want your impressionable daughter to see. That you don't want her to be exposed to your alcohol-addled sister interacting with her abusive husband seems like a sensible choice to me. Yes, you made the right decision, and you should stick with it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started dating a woman I have been friends with for a few years. She's smart, funny, has many wonderful qualities, and I'm starting to fall in love with her.

She's attractive -- except for one thing that could easily be fixed. I don't know if I'm being shallow, so if that's the case, please tell me. She has a bit of a mustache.

Is there a way I can tactfully ask her to remove it without hurting her feelings? Or should I just be grateful I found someone who wants to be with me and keep quiet? -- TACTFULLY CHALLENGED

DEAR CHALLENGED: If you and this lady have been friends for years, you should know each other well enough to level with each other. Because the mustache is "distracting," ask her why she has never done anything about it. However, if she opts to keep it, you'll have to love her just as she is.

DEAR ABBY: I never thought I would be a cat-hater. My 70-year-old parents are very active, but ever since they brought home two cats, they are no longer willing to travel out of town. That means they are now missing many family events -- Thanksgiving, graduations, funerals, etc. Christmas and Easter are spared because we all travel to see them on those occasions.

I am becoming resentful that their cats are more important to them than spending time with their siblings, children or grandchildren. And, no -- they will not put them in a cat hotel or have someone come into their home to watch them. Suggestions? -- RESENTFUL IN SANTA BARBARA, CALIF.

DEAR RESENTFUL: The problem with resentment is that it can fester to the point that it destroys relationships. Has it occurred to you that there may be other reasons your parents no longer want to make these trips? The stress and expense, for instance? Or concern about spending a lot of time driving on freeways? It's also possible that two family visits a year are all they can handle.

One way to lessen your frustration would be to resolve to accept your parents just the way they are -- and also accept that it's unlikely they are going to change.

DEAR ABBY: I recently got into an argument with my mom regarding her speakerphone. I've also argued with other family members and friends over this. I believe it is rude to not let someone know that they are on speakerphone, particularly when others are present.

I feel it violates trust and the sense of intimacy that comes with speaking to the person you intended to call in the first place. Mom says it depends on the topic and that a "Heads up! You're on speakerphone" isn't necessary. Who's right? -- SPEECHLESS IN THE WEST

DEAR SPEECHLESS: You are. When someone makes a phone call, the caller usually expects that the conversation will be private. However, since you now know your mother doesn't agree, either stop confiding anything that you wouldn't reveal in a roomful of relatives, or ask at the beginning of the conversation whether the speaker is on so you'll be forewarned.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 67 and I like sex. My wife doesn't. She has no drive. It may be health-related, maybe due to meds. She has no time; she's a workaholic.

I met a widow who is very tempting. She suggested a "no strings" hookup. I'm starting to think it's not adultery if my wife is sexless. Your thoughts, Abby? -- PENNSYLVANIA SENIOR

DEAR SENIOR: I'm glad you asked. Take a pass on the widow's generous offer. Her "no strings" hookup sounds like a snare that could hang you if the Mrs. gets wind of it.

Your wife's lack of sex drive may be due to any of the things you mentioned. It could also be that your technique needs improving. Ask her if that might be the problem. If it is, a sex therapist could help you fix that in a jiffy. And it would be cheaper in the long run than what you're contemplating.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced and now seeing a wonderful woman who is pretty much everything I was looking for except for a couple of issues, which concern going out to eat -- which we do often. Not once has she offered to pay for a meal.

I make good money, but she is not financially strapped by any means. While I can live with her not paying, what annoys me is she rarely says thank you after a dinner date. Once, she ordered a to-go selection to take home to her daughter. I paid for it, but again got no thanks. When we arrived at her house, she gave the food to her daughter without mentioning that I had bought it for her.

Other than her manners, she's a great gal and I'm happy we're together. Am I being petty and overly sensitive? My ex-wife never appreciated me, so I guess it's a sore spot. How should I approach this without jeopardizing everything else? -- HESITANT TO SPEAK UP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HESITANT: Your great gal has poor manners. Approach it by telling her exactly what you have written to me. Then ask her why she never says thank you and didn't bother to give you credit when you did something nice for her daughter.

Either this woman never learned basic manners, or she takes you for granted. And if this is a pattern with all the women in your life, it's important you understand why and do something about it before you marry again or you will never be happy.

DEAR ABBY: I stepped into a public restroom with three regular stalls and a handicap/wheelchair-accessible stall. All the stalls were occupied, so I got in line. By the time it was my turn, the handicapped stall was available. Behind me was a mother with a fussy baby and a toddler, and she needed to use the baby changing station, which happened to be located inside the handicapped stall. I let her go first.

What I didn't realize was a woman in a wheelchair was also in line behind me. She got upset when I let someone else use the stall instead of allowing her. Someone else in line piped up and told her she had to wait in line like everyone else.

When situations like this arise, should disabled people be allowed to skip the line and go straight to the big stall? Even if the mother with the baby and the location of a diaper changing station were not a factor, is the right thing to do to let a wheelchair-bound person use the restroom first, even if he/she is at the end of the line? -- TRYING TO BE POLITE

DEAR TRYING: Yes, it is. It's called a "handicapped stall" for a reason. The person with the disability should have been allowed to use it first -- even if he/she was at the end of the line.

DEAR ABBY: I have two children from a previous marriage. We have a distant relationship. For valid reasons, they have been written out of my will. Should I tell them now, or let them find out after my death? -- WONDERING WHAT TO DO

DEAR WONDERING: I see no reason to announce it now, because before you die you might change your mind.