DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old woman with a 12-year-old son. I met a wonderful man I'll call "Daryl," and we have been dating for about three years. We recently became engaged and are planning to be married this spring.

I have had one concern for a while, and I probably should have already addressed it with him. Daryl is very good about including my son, "Kevin," in almost all of our outings, but he never asks Kevin to do any "guy" things with him. Daryl has grown sons, so it's not like he doesn't know how to do the guy thing. Kevin has never had a father in his life, so he longs for this kind of companionship.

I'm afraid if I bring it up, Daryl may feel compelled to start doing it, but I don't want him to do it only because I said something. I was hoping it was something my fiance might have wanted to do earlier on in the relationship. Should I say something or let it take its course? -- MOM IN ALABAMA

DEAR MOM: Bring it up! Daryl isn't clairvoyant, and he may not realize how much your son longs for a role model. Explain it to him and see how he responds. Your fiance may not have been a hands-on dad with his own sons.

The teen years are an important time, and Daryl still has time to lay the groundwork for a mentoring relationship if he starts showing an interest now. If he waits too long, Kevin may conclude that Daryl doesn't really care about him and thinks he doesn't measure up in some way, which could affect his self-esteem for years to come.

DEAR ABBY: I am 40, married and busy. I work a full-time job and go to school part-time. My schedule is filled with just my normal activities. I have a busy social life and many family members, so every weekend my husband and I are invited to something.

I enjoy these gatherings, but sometimes I just want a weekend to myself to do what I want to do -- go to the beach, a park, take care of something that needs to be done around the house, or just sit and watch TV or go to a movie.

I find it hard to say no to the invitations. How can I politely decline some of them without offending or hurting friends or family members? -- SOCIAL ENOUGH IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SOCIAL ENOUGH: So you're a people pleaser. It is not rude or hurtful to refuse invitations by saying, "Thank you for wanting us, but we already have a commitment for that day." It's also not rude to tell the person your schedule has been so full that you have been buzzing around like a bee in a fit and need to just plain rest and catch up on chores. That's what I recommend you start doing without feeling guilty about it, because everyone needs a certain amount of downtime so they don't make themselves sick.

DEAR ABBY: I was talking to my daughter about what I would want for a birthday present since I have plenty of "stuff" and I am trying to get rid of it. Could I suggest that instead of giving me something, she come and take something -- or even two somethings? What do you think? -- ANN IN UPSTATE NEW YORK

DEAR ANN: I think it's a novel idea for someone who is downsizing, and if you and your daughter have similar taste, she would appreciate it. Start by saying, "It's better to give than to receive ..."

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school. As part of the English program, each senior must assemble a senior project. For mine, I decided to research happiness. I have researched what makes Americans happy and the brain process that takes place when people feel joy.

As someone who reads questions all day about people's problems, I would like to know what makes you happy. Do you have any hobbies or favorite pastimes? Do you have a favorite place to go to cheer you up? What do you think about in order to cheer yourself up?

Thank you for your time and consideration. I can't wait to hear back from you. -- HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR IN MONTANA

DEAR SENIOR: Although I read about problems every day, they don't drag me down. They make me want to take action. What makes me happy is knowing I can make a positive difference in the lives of the individuals who write to me. While I enjoy an occasional concert, play or film -- and getting together with friends -- much of my happiness is derived from my work.

When I need a lift, I think about the blessings I have -- a loving husband, that we're both healthy, that we have friends to laugh with, that I have the ability to exercise, enjoy my favorite flower and the warmth of walking in the sunshine. And I remember to be grateful for all of them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl, and I have had a great relationship with my parents since I was a baby. I have always felt I have the perfect family. I can talk to them about anything and love spending time with them.

Lately, though, I have begun fighting with my dad almost every day. They're never big or scary fights, just arguments that leave us both angry and disgruntled. He says I have a newly developed "attitude." I say he has a bit of a temper. Neither of us is willing to back down.

We have talked about our constant arguing, but we honestly don't know how to fix it. He recently suggested family counseling, but I'm not sure if it has gone that far yet. Any advice? -- TEEN IN FAIRBANKS, ALASKA

DEAR TEEN: Some of what is happening between you and your dad may be that you are now a teenager, with all of the hormonal changes that go with it. That said, you are old enough to understand that because there can be consequences for saying the first thing that pops into our heads, it is prudent to exercise tact.

I consider your father's idea of family counseling now to be a good one. Think of it as "preventive medicine" to avoid a more serious breakdown in communications later.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK to put a paper towel holder in the bathroom? I don't want to buy the kind that you can pull out from a box. I want to put a holder on the wall so I don't have to hide my roll under the sink. That way, anyone can pull a sheet off the roll to clean up a mess or wipe their hands if they don't want to use a hand towel. I've never seen one in anyone's bathroom, but I don't know why. -- JANET IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR JANET: Even though you haven't seen one, I'm sure you're not the only one to think of it. If you would like a roll of paper towels in your bathroom, you'll get no argument from me. Go for it.

DEAR ABBY: I am worried about how my 10-year-old son, "Jake," will take some news he's not aware of yet. I wasn't able to have children, so my husband and I turned to in-vitro, using a donated egg from a family member. We thank God this method worked.

Our plan was to explain it to Jake when he got older, once he understood about the birds and the bees. Now I am starting to get this fear that he will be very upset when he learns about it and be angry with us.

I don't want him to go into a depression over it. What should we do? Should we wait like we planned? Should we have told him already? Or should we say nothing? -- MOM IN CHICAGO

DEAR MOM: Not knowing Jake, I can't gauge his level of maturity. I'm not sure why being told how special he is, and how grateful you and your husband are to be his parents would send him into a depression. But because you think it might, discuss this with a child psychologist before talking to your son. Please don't put this off, because if other family members know about the egg donation, it is only a matter of time before the cat will be out of the bag, and it's better that Jake hears this information from you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman in grad school, and I have noticed something about my male friends. Whenever they meet a new girl, the first comment out of their mouths is about her looks. Then they will expound at length on her physical assets (or lack thereof).

Abby, it makes me furious. Not only does it make me feel self-conscious about my own body, it also makes me angry that these talented, charming and outgoing girls are judged first by their cup size.

Is there anything I can say to my friends to make them amend their behavior? Or am I being overly sensitive and need to accept that this is a "guy thing"? Thanks for your input. -- OBJECTIFIED IN OMAHA

DEAR OBJECTIFIED: It's a guy thing. That they talk this way in front of you may indicate that they consider you "one of the guys." Since it bothers you, speak up and suggest they knock it off. If you do, it may jar them back to reality.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I would love your take on a disagreement we've had since we were married. It's the age-old question, "So, where did you two meet?"

We met abroad at a university exchange program and were introduced to each other by our school sponsors in the bar where all the students hung out. We shook hands, exchanged greetings and I left right afterward.

I answer the question by saying, "We met in a bar." My wife says, "We met in university." Who's right? -- BAR NONE? IN TEXAS

DEAR BAR NONE: You both are, but have you never heard the adage, "A happy wife makes for a happy life"? My advice is to stick with her version.