DEAR ABBY: My husband has many wonderful qualities. However, he's obsessed with my always being instantly available when he calls or texts my cellphone.

I don't carry it with me every minute of the day. At work I can be busy taking orders, dealing with clients, having a conference with my boss or using the restroom. But if I don't answer, my husband leaves nasty messages asking why I have a phone if I'm not going to pick up or respond to a text. I always do it as soon as I am able.

I have explained the reality of what I might be involved with when he contacts me. I have told him his demand that I always be immediately available is selfish, to no avail. What's your opinion? -- EXASPERATED IN ERIE

DEAR EXASPERATED: My opinion is you should ignore your husband's nasty comments because he's acting like an immature, demanding child who needs to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around him.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a grandson, "Kyle," who has been living with us for two years while he earned his bachelor's degree in college. However, he is now going for a master's, and it will be another two years before he graduates.

Kyle works a lot and takes classes, so he is not at our home that much. However, at age 25, it seems to me he should be out on his own.

Some of Kyle's uncles are upset that my husband has allowed this to go on so long because their kids never got the same treatment. But Kyle doesn't get the support from his parents that he should, and my husband feels sorry for him.

Am I selfish for feeling that my space has been invaded for too long? -- PUT UPON IN TEXAS

DEAR PUT UPON: That you and your husband have chosen to be generous with Kyle should be nobody else's business. For the reason you mentioned, Kyle needed a break. Your husband stepped in and has seen that he got one.

If Kyle were constantly underfoot, I could understand why you might justifiably feel "invaded." However, because he isn't, then yes, I do think your attitude is selfish.

DEAR ABBY: Once again I have found that one random act of kindness begets another.

Today, I had a hankering for one of those great salads from my favorite fast food chain. It was noon, and the line from the main highway to get into the driveway was long.

When I finally was able to turn in to the ordering section, I noticed a man in his work truck trying to get into the line. We were face-to-face. I looked back, saw all the cars behind me and knew none of them were going to let him in, so I motioned for him to go ahead of me.

When I reached the window and started to pay for my order, the cashier said, "You are already paid for." I said, "What?" The man in front of me had paid for my order.

The message? Be kind -- it's good karma. -- LINDA IN ORANGE, CALIF.

DEAR LINDA: I agree. Like a stone thrown into a pond, a good deed can create ripples that extend far beyond the initial splash.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teenager who went through some emotional stuff a couple of years ago. It was horrible. My parents thought it was just a phase, so I had to deal with it myself until it got better.

I don't feel like I can communicate with my parents. If I try, I'm afraid they'll just downplay it again.

I feel so alone sometimes. Even when I'm happy I still have this feeling of sadness. Then suddenly, I feel angry for no reason, and I hate it. Other times, I get so anxious I don't know what to do. I feel like my friends don't like me, even though nothing is wrong. I feel stuck.

Most people say it's because I'm a teenager, and that's what I try to tell myself, but it doesn't work. I don't know what to do. What do you think, Abby? -- ANONYMOUS IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ANONYMOUS: I'm sorry that when you tried to tell your parents you were in pain they didn't take you seriously. While the feelings you're having may be caused by "raging teenage hormones," they could also be a symptom of something more. That's why I'm suggesting you talk to another trusted adult about your feelings -- the parent of one of your close friends, a counselor at school or your pediatrician, if you have one. It never hurts to have a "reality check" every once in a while, and when you share what's going on in your head with someone who has more life experience, it can give you a better perspective.

DEAR ABBY: This time last year, I read a letter from a young woman whose live-in boyfriend doesn't get her anything for Valentine's Day.

I have been married to my husband for 28 years. When we were first married, I was often disappointed because he was never good at getting me gifts on holidays. Every year I would remind him ahead of time.

But gradually over the years, I began to realize that the gifts were not important. He has been the best husband I could ask for. He knows me better than anyone else. He adopted my two young girls and has been a wonderful father to them.

Throughout the year we do almost everything together. He loves to shop with me, and I buy what I want for my birthday or whatever. When holidays come around, we acknowledge them to each other and do something together for the day if we can.

A few years ago he was very ill and almost died. I am so grateful for him every day. I couldn't ask for more. The material gifts are unimportant. -- MARY M. IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MARY: Thank you for an upper of a letter. You are a woman who clearly has her priorities straight. I told the young woman who wrote that letter that she'd feel less "deprived" if she focused not on what she isn't getting out of the relationship, but more on what she is. You reinforced this beautifully.

Readers, on this "day of love," I'd like you to know that you make writing this column a joy. I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day.

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother is 25. Three or four months ago he got out of a six-year relationship. He is now dating his former boss, a woman who is at least 15 years older than he is. As far as I know, I'm the only one he's told.

I recently asked him how the romance was going and he told me things are great. He also said he's worried about how to let the rest of our family know about this new relationship. Do you have any advice I could give him about revealing something that's sure to shock some members of our family? -- WORRIED OLDER BROTHER IN KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR WORRIED: Yes. Tell him all he has to do is bring his new love interest to the next family gathering. (You can be in charge of supplying the smelling salts.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I completed construction on our retirement home five years ago. Even though we're not retired, we were able to move in. We are now 3 1/2 hours away from family.

We have repeatedly invited family members to enjoy our hospitality at holiday or vacation time. Some of them have taken us up on the invitation at least once. However, one of my brothers has never been here.

We have a lovely log cabin on a lake, and it can accommodate all family members for a gathering. Our relatives cite the long drive as the reason for staying away, while they think nothing of taking a hunting or fishing trip nearby.

I have stopped asking. My mom thinks I should continue extending invitations. Truthfully, it is a lot less work and expense to not host. Who's right? -- ENOUGH ALREADY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ENOUGH: You are. By now your relatives are well aware that they are welcome. Continue to invite those who have accepted and reciprocated your hospitality, because it should be apparent that the ones who have declined are not interested. And explain that to your mother, who long ago should have stopped telling you what to do.

DEAR ABBY: Have you or any of your female readers experienced this medical phenomenon with their male partners? When I open my mouth to speak, I can literally hear my husband's ears slam shut! Repeating everything seems to be a side effect for those of us living with someone with this disease. Does anyone know of a cure? -- TIRED OF TALKING TO MYSELF

DEAR TIRED: Alas, I can't answer from personal experience because every time I open my mouth to speak, my husband rushes forward to catch the pearls of wisdom I'm spewing. However, I suspect that what you're experiencing may be a widespread phenomenon that happens when any woman suggests something her spouse doesn't want to hear. Readers, what do you think?