DEAR ABBY: I'm in my 40s and my boyfriend of three years is 12 years older. We are in love and our relationship is great. He travels for work and lives in another state, so he flies in to see my daughter and me every other week. Because he is older, he uses Viagra, and it's kept at my place in a drawer. I assumed that's where it was always kept.

Abby, when he left for his trip yesterday, he took his Viagra with him! He says he grabbed the bottle without thinking and that I'm overreacting. The rest of his things are kept in his travel bag, so it's not like he just gathered up all of his pills. They were the only ones. Now he's upset with me because "I don't trust him."

Can you help me get my thinking straight? I caught him lying about something when we first started dating, so he's not all squeaky clean like he acts. -- SUSPICIOUS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Unless your boyfriend was prescribed the Viagra for a condition other than ED, I'd say you have a right to be suspicious. Because his little blue pills were kept apart from his other medications, it took special effort for him to pack them. Talk with him further because he may have been contemplating a "party of one" during his travels and not have been looking for adventure.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in the middle of a situation that I'm not sure how to deal with. My mother's husband made a pass at my boyfriend. My boyfriend thinks I should tell her.

Abby, my mother and her husband are in their 70s, and I don't want to cause problems in their marriage. I'd like to write it off as a "misunderstanding," but my stepdad has a history of doing things like this. -- ANONYMOUS IN OREGON

DEAR ANONYMOUS: If your boyfriend didn't already, he should tell your stepfather the pass was unwelcome and he doesn't want it to happen again. If it does, you and your boyfriend should talk to your mother about it and explain why she'll be seeing less of you unless she visits you -- alone. Because this isn't the first time your stepfather has acted inappropriately, it won't be news to her. And because she has tolerated his behavior in the past, I doubt it will cause problems between them now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's family gave us a large painting that is not our taste at all. We would love to get rid of it, but of course we feel obligated to keep it and hang it in order to not hurt their feelings.

They live nearby and visit often, so putting the painting away doesn't seem realistic. We live in a small apartment and there is nowhere "discreet" to hang it. Plus, it is too large to take to our offices.

Other than staging a robbery, are there any options that would keep everyone happy? -- GRINNING & BEARING IT

DEAR GRINNING: Another option would be to level with your in-laws. Tell them you are grateful for their generosity, but the artwork is not your taste, and then ask if they would mind if you exchanged it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Carla" for 16 years. It's my second marriage. My problem is I never see her. She has always spent more time with her mother than with me. We see each other for about an hour a day after she returns from her mom's, usually at 9:45 to 10 p.m.

I have had several conversations about this with her over the years, but nothing seems to work. We'll argue and she starts to cry, and it ends without a resolution. Her mother is in her mid-80s and has had her share of health problems.

Carla has a sister who could help out, but rarely does. I have had health problems of my own -- a kidney transplant and several bouts of skin cancer -- but she doesn't seem to care as much about my problems as she does her mom's. Her mother even tells her to go home to be with me, to no avail.

I love my wife, but my isolation and loneliness are finally getting to me. How can I convince her that this isn't fair to me or our marriage? How much longer do I take it? -- LONELY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LONELY: I feel sorry for both of you. Your wife may be trying so hard to be a responsible daughter that she has forgotten you need her, too. Your sister-in-law should have stepped up and started doing her share long ago -- and she still may if you and your wife talk to her about it together.

I don't know what your schedule is like, but you might have more time with Carla if you went with her to your mother-in-law's occasionally. It might also improve your communication if the two of you went for marriage counseling. If Carla's mother has to insist she go home to you, there may be reasons other than her mother's health for Carla's spending so much time away.

Nothing will change until you get to the bottom of it, so don't let your wife's tears prevent you. And if your wife resists seeing a counselor, go without her.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently quit our jobs and moved to London from New York. Being a freelancer and having lived here before, he's never had trouble finding work. But I have just changed careers, and I'm finding it hard to earn a consistent paycheck here.

Despite his constant assurances that he is happy supporting both of us right now, I can't shake feeling guilty. I have never felt right living on someone else's dime -- not even my parents' while I was growing up. Should I man up and find a job I don't exactly love to better contribute, or "keep on truckin'" without guilt with hopes of getting there? -- GUILTY IN LONDON

DEAR GUILTY: Because of your history, I'm not sure you are capable of happily "keepin' on truckin'" without contributing financially. For some people, the sense of independence they derive from having a job is important to their self-worth.

I say, look around and see if there are some job openings. It's better than sitting around moping and feeling guilty, and it might give you and your husband a chance to make some new friends.

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman with a teenaged daughter. I maintain a good relationship with my ex-husband and his family, and still consider them my family.

The problem is, my ex and our daughter have a strained relationship, mostly because he makes little effort to spend time with her. He doesn't attend her school functions, and most of the time when she's with him he's sleeping or watching TV. She is also sick of the multiple girlfriends that cycle in and out of his life. He doesn't realize how much these things affect her.

She has asked me not to make her see him anymore. She's 15, and I'm unsure if the law allows her to make that decision, but I think it's unwise and she would regret it later. I also worry that everyone in the family will blame me, and my relationship with them will be strained.

I don't know if I should just tell him she won't be coming to his house anymore or if I should continue to make her go. I'm not sure he really cares. I'd appreciate any advice. -- WORRIED MOM IN ARKANSAS

DEAR WORRIED MOM: Have you discussed this with your ex? If you have and nothing has changed, then I don't think you should force your daughter to go any longer. But check with a lawyer to be sure about the law in your state.

When daughters are ignored the way yours has been, they begin to think there's something wrong with themselves -- that they deserve it. It can have a lasting negative impact on a girl's self-esteem, which is not healthy. That she no longer wants to be subjected to it is understandable.

If you're afraid your former in-laws will blame you, tell them what you have told me. Whether your ex cares or is relieved is something no one can know until she doesn't show up, and I sincerely doubt she'll have any regrets about not having to tolerate those distasteful visits later on.

DEAR ABBY: My social circle includes a woman who has problems in restaurants. Something comes over her in this environment -- either the waiter is ignoring her, the order is taking too long, she wants to tweak the menu to her liking, the cost is too high or there's a mistake on the bill. There is no end to it.

One night she didn't like the salad, so she picked up bits of it and tossed them on the table. Needless to say, no one wants to go out with her anymore. Her husband, however, is a great guy. When we mentioned this to him, he replied, "You've noticed it, too?"

Have you heard of this? What's wrong with her? She is strong-willed in most things, but the restaurant scene is her extreme. Any light you can shed on this would be most appreciated. -- LOST MY APPETITE IN INDIANA

DEAR LOST: Having never met the woman, it's hard to pinpoint what may be wrong. She may have OCD, be easily frustrated, or be displacing anger or frustration about something else onto the servers who cannot defend themselves.

Frankly, the woman sounds like a pain in the posterior, and because she makes a habit of making those around her uncomfortable, I'm having trouble understanding why you continue to socialize with them. Many people wouldn't. Perhaps the husbands can arrange to see him socially without her being present.