DEAR ABBY: I am heartbroken. I have an uncle "Tony" I'm close to, who is like my best friend. I was sending him pictures of a football game and he sent me back a very inappropriate picture of himself. He says it was a "mistake," that it was supposed to go to his wife, but the text message he sent with it showed different.

I don't want to be around him. I'm disgusted and hurt over this. I need advice. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Share the photo and texts with your parents and ask what they think about them. Then ask if they think you should forward the picture and text message to your aunt with a note explaining Uncle Tony said they were meant for her, and you didn't want her to miss them.

Because he makes you uncomfortable, listen to your intuition and keep your distance because what he did was appalling.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a female working full-time in an office with all men. Yesterday afternoon, I ate a salad that contained several varieties of beans. I was standing outside my boss's office, laughing at a joke one of the salesmen was telling when the beans got the best of me and I passed gas.

I was mortified and wanted to sink through the floor! I patted the salesman on the arm and said, "I guess that's what I think of the joke," and walked back into my office. I didn't know what else to say or do. Today I can't look either of them in the face.

Since this seems to be something that happens to older people (I'm 69), and it's something we often don't have total control over -- please tell me how to "recover." If this should happen again, what on earth does one say or do? -- BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT

DEAR B.T.M.F.: Stop beating yourself up over this. Expelling gas is normal. According to the National Institutes of Health, the average person passes gas about 14 times a day -- although probably not as spectacularly as you did.

If it happens again, don't try to be funny. Just say, "Excuse me," and if the "toot" is a fragrant one, distance yourself. I'm positive that would be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: We are planning to give a joint baby shower next month for two sisters-in-law who are expecting their babies three weeks apart. The joint shower is a necessity because some of the relatives will need to travel quite a distance to attend.

Most of the guests know both girls, but some will know only one of them. Is there a way we can word the invitation so these guests won't feel obligated to "gift" both babies? Any suggestions will be gratefully appreciated because we are stumped. -- STUMPED IN OHIO

DEAR STUMPED: Put nothing on the invitations themselves mentioning gifts. However, it is acceptable to include an insert along with the invitation that states gifts for both babies are not expected. If the shower is going to be a large one, you could email the guests to relay the information. However, if it will be relatively small, pick up the phone and call.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of an 18-year-old daughter. Her dad and I are divorced and she lives with him. We were married 20 years and I know he's a good parent, except for one thing. My daughter has told me her father and his partner sometimes engage in very loud lovemaking when she's in her room, and it embarrasses her. She's shy to begin with, so she hasn't said anything to him.

I feel angry and frustrated because I don't know if I should say something to him about it. I have suggested she put on some loud music or use headphones if she can't bring this up with him. I think she wants me to intercede, but I don't feel it's my business to do so. Can these adults be that clueless? Please help. -- CAROL ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR CAROL: Yes, adults can be that "clueless." Her father and his partner may not realize how much noise they make. Headphones and turning on loud music are good suggestions. But remember that clear communication is important in relationships both personal and professional.

At 18, your daughter is old enough to start speaking up for herself. Encourage her to talk about this problem privately with her father. But if she can't, then you should handle this for her.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an affair 18 years ago. We worked through it and are doing well in our marriage.

My question concerns my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, both of whom continue to remain in contact with the "other woman." They still worship at the same church, bought her baby gifts, etc. I have mentioned how it hurts me that they are Facebook friends with her, but it has fallen on deaf ears. I know they have known her longer than me, but I am family.

Abby, I would like to know if I am crazy for letting this bother me. Should I let it go? I have forgiven my husband, but what they are doing makes it hard for me at times. What should I do? -- MY HEART HURTS

DEAR HEART HURTS: By now you should have realized that you can't control your husband's mother or sister. That they chose to continue to maintain their relationship with this woman in spite of the fact that she nearly wrecked your marriage is regrettable.

But all this happened 18 years ago, and your marriage survived it. If you can let this go, I think you should. A wise person once said that we can be as happy as we choose to be. Lessen your emotional dependence on your in-laws, and I predict you will be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I find it difficult to lie. This trait suits me well except in one area. When friends or family share information about being ill, experiencing a death or any sort of tragedy, almost everyone else responds with, "You're in my prayers."

I am an atheist and do not claim I will pray for those individuals because that would be lying. So what is the proper response when prayer is off the table? -- TEXAS READER

DEAR READER: A proper response would be, "I'm sorry for what you're going through," "I'll send positive thoughts for So-and-So's recovery," or, "How sad. I'm sorry to hear it."

DEAR ABBY: When I turned 25, after considering it for years, I went to my doctor and told him I wanted to become sterile. I got a vasectomy two months later. I haven't had any regrets, and now at 27, I'm still firmly convinced that I don't want children -- ever.

I started dating a woman a year ago, "Anita," who told me that if she never had kids, she could live with it. I felt lucky to have found someone who would be OK with no kids.

I have had a few issues with Anita. When she gets upset from time to time, she says that if she stays with me, she will never have kids. I know she cares for me deeply, but I also believe she feels conflicted about giving up the chance to be a mother.

Do you think it's fair for me to pursue this relationship and hope that eventually she'll come to terms with not having children with me? Or should I end the relationship so she can find someone who shares her desire to become a parent? I worry that if I end it, it may take years before I find someone who shares my wish to never be a parent. -- NO KIDS IN COLORADO

DEAR NO KIDS: You have been upfront with Anita. She understands that you do not want children, and that you have taken steps to ensure it won't happen. She's correct that if she stays with you, she will never have any.

For both your sakes, the two of you need to talk this through once and for all, because if Anita is ambivalent about forgoing motherhood, she does need to find another life partner. And you need to let her do that.

DEAR ABBY: It happened to me again yesterday. After I had been waiting patiently at the counter of a large department store, another woman came up and stood beside me. The clerk walked over and immediately began to ring up the other woman's purchase. I said, "I was here first!" Both the clerk and the woman apologized, but because the sale had already begun, the salesclerk completed it and I was left waiting.

I am angry about it. I feel stores should have a queue where you get in line in order, or clerks should be instructed to ask, "Who was here first?" I don't want to believe I was passed over because the other woman looked more prosperous than I do, but she was buying a very expensive handbag, while I was purchasing socks that were on clearance. How should that be handled in the future? -- SHOPPER IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SHOPPER: If you have a complaint about service, it should be addressed to the store manager. A well-trained retail salesperson would have asked which of you was there first. The amount you were spending should have made no difference.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I travel with another couple. I furnish the vehicle and do all the driving. How should we share the expenses? -- EASY RIDER IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR EASY RIDER: The other couple should pay for half the gas and their own meals and lodging.