DEAR ABBY: I have just learned that my sister's husband of 35 years (I'll call him George) hasn't filed their personal income taxes going back a number of years. This has caused a lot of stress and anxiety for my sister, who recently underwent breast cancer treatment. Apparently, he hasn't filed because of his inability to organize. (His family has denial issues.)

Their professional tax preparer has met with both of them and tried to work out a step-by-step program, but George consistently fails to meet the deadlines. I love my sister and want to be as supportive as possible, but I'm unsure what I can do. I have advised her to seek therapy. She has copies of business-related documents relating to the unfiled tax periods, but not enough information to file on her own.

On top of everything else, she has several relationship issues with her children that are causing her grief. What else can I do? -- HELPLESS BIG BROTHER

DEAR BROTHER: Failure to file one's taxes is a federal crime that could land your brother-in-law and sister in the slammer. That's why you should urge your sister to do something she should have done years ago -- take over the family finances.

She and her husband may need more help than their CPA has been able to give them. A group that I have mentioned in my column before is the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA). These are tax specialists -- some of whom are attorneys and CPAs -- who are specifically licensed by the Department of the Treasury. Tell your sister to contact an enrolled agent by visiting www.naea.org. TODAY.

DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my boyfriend, "Teddy." We are both in our 20s. Five years ago, he married his high school sweetheart. Two years later, she cheated on him and left. Teddy and I have talked about the situation countless times. I know he doesn't love her anymore and cares for me a lot.

Abby, I lose sleep over their relationship. I can't stop thinking about how she left him -- not the other way around -- and if he hadn't caught her cheating they would still be together. I Google her to see if I can find out anything about them. I check her social media sites multiple times a day. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I'm obsessed with her!

Teddy is such a caring man, he tells me everything I want to know, but my obsession with her and their relationship is starting to get to him. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time I wonder if I will have to leave because I can't get over their marriage. What should I do? -- OBSESSED IN OHIO

DEAR OBSESSED: There's an old saying that applies to your situation: One man's trash is another man's treasure. Your boyfriend's ex didn't recognize what a prize she had, fouled the nest and threw him away. How lucky for you that she did.

I can understand your being curious about her; what I can't understand is your compulsion to stalk her online. What she's doing these days has no effect on you or your relationship with Teddy. If you keep this up, you will drive him away. If you can't stop, find a licensed mental health professional who can give you the tools to overcome your insecurity. It will be money well spent.

DEAR ABBY: My problem concerns my children and others who may have to deal with my finances or estate should I become ill or die.

I constantly get requests from credit card companies and other businesses, like utilities, urging me to "go paperless." "Save a tree ... save a forest!" While I'm sympathetic, I worry that if I were to get sick and no paper bills arrive in my mailbox, my children wouldn't know they need to be paid. (They have my durable power of attorney.) If everything arrives online, they'll have no access to that information. Bills and late fees will accumulate, and no one will be the wiser.

This is why I resist. I pay many of my bills online, but I also receive paper documents. I know many companies and credit card issuers are unsympathetic about reducing or eliminating late fees, regardless of the situation. I don't trust them to waive these fees -- even if I'm desperately ill or dead. I don't know how to "go paperless" and keep my children informed at the same time. Abby, your column could create a national dialogue on this problem. Thank you. -- DEBORAH IN ST. CLOUD, MINN.

DEAR DEBORAH: Before you go paperless, make a list of all of your accounts and usernames and passwords. There is software that allows people to upload their account information into so-called "digital vaults" for storage. Alternatively, the information could be written down and placed with your health care and financial powers of attorney.

To make certain that everything goes smoothly should you become incapacitated, or in the event of your death, give a list of your current digital information to someone you trust, let people know who has that information, and leave instructions on how you want things handled.

DEAR ABBY: Last spring, my husband and I found out we're pregnant with our first child. We were thrilled, of course, but out of caution we decided not to tell anyone outside our immediate families for a few weeks.

I am a teacher at a large school and I decided to confide in my teaching assistant so she would understand if I seemed tired or I wasn't feeling well. She was excited. Within five minutes of my telling her, she had literally shouted the news to several other staff members. I asked her to please stop and, in particular, not to tell the students. The next day there was a large banner hanging over my classroom door that read: BUN IN THE OVEN! I was mortified and furious.

She thinks miscarriages won't happen if you think positive and that I'm just being negative. She is otherwise an excellent assistant. How do I deal with her refusal to remain quiet? -- ASSISTED BY A BLABBERMOUTH

DEAR ASSISTED: Now that you know you cannot share anything in confidence with your T.A., make a mental note not to make that mistake again. There's a saying, "Once two people know a secret, it is no longer a secret." All she had to do was tell one other person and the cat was out of the bag. Because she's an excellent teaching assistant, "deal" with her by telling her only what you would want broadcast over the public address system.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has stage 4 cancer and is in constant pain. A big worry for him is my being alone in life after his passing. Several months ago when the subject came up, I told him that while I'm not a prophet, I know I'll be OK. I'm a social person. I have a nice support group with various organizations, and I'm close with family and co-workers, etc.

Four months ago, a high school friend and I reconnected. We have shared many conversations and have built a meaningful relationship. The gnawing question is, do I share this information with my husband now, wait until he mentions his leaving me alone again or say nothing? There is a fine line here between putting my husband's fears to rest and potentially making him feel he will be easily replaced.

This is not a topic I feel comfortable sharing with my friends. I'm curious what other women have done in similar situations. Do they explore the new situation, have an affair or maintain a celibate relationship? Your response will help with some of the stress I'm having at this juncture. -- NOT EASILY REPLACED

DEAR NOT EASILY REPLACED: I know I will hear from my readers once your letter is published, and I'm just as certain their responses will indicate that they have done each of the things you mentioned.

I agree that there is a fine line between putting your husband's fears to rest and making him feel he will be easily replaced. The reality is, whether things work out with your old school chum or the budding romance comes to nothing, relationships are not interchangeable. You have shared history with your husband that can't be duplicated.

While your husband is a special man whose only concern is for you, in my heart, I don't think news of this relationship should be shared with him. I don't know how much more time he has on this earth, but I think you would feel better about yourself if you postponed an affair until after your husband is gone. If this old friend cares deeply for you, he should be willing to wait.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Jasper," says I'm weird for talking to my daughter while I'm driving to work and 90 percent of the time on my commute back home. She's a young mother with a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old. Her husband is "difficult," and there are also some personal issues -- but I am proud of how well she's doing.

I work full time and she works part time, so even though we live in the same town, we don't see each other as often as we'd like. At 25, she is growing into my best friend, and I love helping her through decisions, etc. I don't agree that this is weird at all. I believe most mothers and daughters do this.

How can I get through to my fiance that this is normal? Even if it weren't, it isn't getting in his way or taking anything away from him. Don't you agree he should just let it be? -- GOOD MOTHER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GOOD MOTHER: Yes, I do. If your fiance had said he was concerned that you might get into an accident because your conversations were distracting, I would answer differently. However, that he would label your closeness to your daughter "weird" makes me wonder if he might be jealous of the bond you share with her. Are you giving him his fair share of your attention?