DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Aidan," and I have been dating for three months. I want to tell my parents, but I don't know how. They say I'm too young and immature to date. I'll be 16 in five months. They say Aidan is obsessed with me and they don't want me staying in an unhealthy relationship.

My parents think I'm not talking to Aidan, but I really am. I want to show them I'm mature enough for a relationship. All they keep saying is I need to be "realistic" and "respectful." I'm more respectful than half the people I know.

I don't want to keep this from my parents anymore. What should I do? -- TEEN GIRL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TEEN GIRL: When parents say a teen is too young to date, they aren't talking about the number of candles on her birthday cake. If your parents are worried that Aidan is "obsessed," they must have a reason.

Sneaking around isn't a way to gain anyone's confidence. Teens show they are mature and responsible enough to handle the privilege of dating by being open, honest, communicating their feelings, listening respectfully to the opinions of others, and shouldering responsibility. If you start now, you may be able to convince your parents that you're ready.

DEAR ABBY: I have been taking trips with a friend for a few years. We share a room and usually have a good time. Unfortunately, my friend is cheap. She fights for every dollar every day of the year even though she is very well off.

Lately she has become worse. During the last tour we took, she "made lunch" off the breakfast buffets in the hotels where we stayed, although most of them had signs posted saying that food should not be taken out. Not once, not twice, but every single day she packed a sandwich, fruit and coffee so she wouldn't have to buy lunch. I asked her to please not do it, but she brushed me off.

I like her, but I hate feeling ashamed of her. I believe in doing the right thing, and doing unto others what I would like them to do unto me, and I have reached the point where I just don't want to travel with her. Any advice? -- CALIFORNIA TRAVELER

DEAR TRAVELER: Yes. Tell your friend you have now taken your last trip together, and then tell her exactly why.

DEAR ABBY: I see so many young girls wear "spike" heels. I know they think they look glamorous, but a word of advice: Learn to walk in them at home. Girls, you look like ducks, walking with your knees bent because the heels are so high and you haven't practiced. I know what I'm talking about because those heels were in style when I was young. -- SMART LADY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SMART LADY: There is nothing wrong with that advice. Practice makes perfect. However, allow me to add another suggestion. When I buy a pair of spike heels (and I do own a few), the first thing I do is take them to my shoemaker and have the heels cut down a quarter of an inch, which makes them more comfortable -- and safer -- to walk in. (If I broke an ankle they'd have to shoot me, because I'd never race again.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend, "Derek," for four years. After a night of emotion-filled discussion, he asked me to marry him. I said yes, but it has always been a difficult idea for me to wrap my head around. I'm turning 21 and although that may be old enough for some people to get married and have kids, it scares the heck out of me.

I love Derek and I want to marry him one day. He assured me we could stay "engaged" for a few years, but it still makes me uneasy. We don't have a ring yet, and we agreed we wouldn't tell our families until we get one. It doesn't feel real because there's no ring and no one knows -- could that be why I'm so nervous?

I need a second opinion and some advice on whether to wait to tell anyone or tell people now. -- COLD FEET

DEAR COLD FEET: An engagement with no ring and no announcement hardly seems like an engagement at all. That's why you and Derek should rethink making any announcements until you both feel ready to take such a big step. When the time is right, the idea of marriage and children will make you feel happy, not frightened.

Frankly, I think your fears may be well founded because you have had little life experience -- and once the ball starts rolling, stopping it may be complicated. That's why you and Derek should remain in a holding pattern until you are more confident about what you want to do.

DEAR ABBY: Although I am not considered bad looking, I'm not extremely beautiful either. Guys find my friends prettier than me.

For a few years I have been thinking about getting a nose job. My parents say I need to wait for all my facial features to adjust to my growing body to prevent facial disfigurement in the future. I think that's just an excuse. When is the right age to get a nose job? -- ALABAMA TEEN

DEAR TEEN: This is a question that should be answered by your personal physician. You didn't state your age, but I don't think your parents are stalling. According to WebMD, it is very important that before a young person has a nose job the facial bones have reached "adult size." The usual age for girls' noses to mature is 15 or 16. (Interestingly, for boys it is a year or so later.)

DEAR ABBY: My father had a son with a woman while he was dating my mother. Mom made Dad choose between her and his son. He chose Mom, and has had no contact with the boy.

Dad doesn't want to interfere with his now-grown son's life. I, on the other hand, would love to reach out and meet my half-brother. Would it be overstepping boundaries if I do this? -- SOMEONE'S SIBLING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SOMEONE'S SIBLING: I'd be curious to know how you became aware of your half-brother's existence, because I'll bet the topic wasn't discussed in your home. While I might have no objection to you reaching out to your half-sibling -- because I am not emotionally involved -- your mother will feel betrayed and angry. If you decide to move forward, be prepared.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: It is time for the breaking of the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr, everyone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old teacher and graduate student. I have started dating a new man, "Winston," who makes me feel incredible. We have crazy chemistry like I've never had before, and our personalities work perfectly together.

Here's the problem. Winston is a recovering heroin addict with horrible credit and two felony charges related to having stolen money from his parents when he was desperate for drugs.

I know what you're thinking -- I'd be an idiot for dating someone like this, right? But Winston and I have had heartfelt talks and he revealed a troubled upbringing that helped me understand where his addiction came from. He's in a rehab program to try to get his life together.

I've dated a lot of guys. All I've ever wanted is someone who will give me "butterflies" for the rest of my life, and Winston may be the guy. He's attentive, affectionate and loving. He treats me like a princess. I understand his past will cause financial strain. Isn't it more important to have a man who treats me right than one with a lot of earning potential? Please give me some advice. -- DREAM COME TRUE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DREAM: You have been seeing Winston for HOW long? Has he completed his rehab and been able to maintain his sober lifestyle for a long enough time that the chances are it will continue?

Few things are as exciting as infatuation -- every one of our senses is heightened. You say you feel "butterflies," but what if you wind up with only a moth-eaten carpet? This is not to say that Winston isn't a wonderful person -- many former addicts can be. However, I think it's premature for you to consider a future with him until you are sure about his stability.

DEAR ABBY: My widowed 86-year-old mom was living by herself. My unmarried sister, "Anne," has become ill and has moved in with Mom. Anne wanted a dog. At first Mom was against it because they both have cats, but she finally gave in and Anne got a year-old beagle mix from the dog rescue.

I have been afraid of dogs since I was little. My family knows this. Usually, once I get to know a dog I'm OK, and I have had several of my own. But this animal has abandonment and abuse issues. He's very aggressive and barks, growls and lunges at anyone who comes into the house. It makes me afraid, so I have quit visiting and hardly ever drop by.

Mom and Anne have very little control over the dog. I worry that in an emergency -- whether for Mom or Anne --- the EMTs would not be able to get past the animal. What can I do? -- SCARED IN IOWA

DEAR SCARED: Explain to them that not all emergency medical technicians (EMTs) have been formally trained to handle unruly or vicious animals, and precious time might be lost. If your sister or mother wasn't around to control the dog and the EMTs were unable to lure it to another room, animal control would have to be summoned or a neighbor found who could assist, and the consequences could be serious. Then cross your fingers that nothing bad happens.