DEAR ABBY: Today was my high school reunion. I was the most notable student for all the wrong reasons. I was born with some birth defects and learning disabilities. I overcame them, but it was hard. While working blue-collar jobs, I lived in my car for a few years.

On a cold winter night several years ago, I met Dr. X in the emergency room. He was a former classmate of mine, and we pretended not to know one another. He discovered I was living in my car and heard some of my story. Then he arranged for me to be admitted to the hospital for a day so I could get warmed up and recover. When I left the hospital, I found a $100 bill in the gas tank door of my van. I'm sure it was from him.

I now have a home of my own and I'm doing OK, considering everything. When I sent my reservation and check to the reunion committee, it was returned uncashed with a $50 bill along with a note saying "Please don't come." The reunion was being held on the estate of Dr. X.

I guess my classmates are more closed-minded than I thought they would be. I was hoping age would mellow them. In addition to the reservation return, I have seen a few forwarded emails mocking my attempts to find out about the event. I hope none of those people were blessed with a child with learning or physical issues.

I guess people never change on some things. Thankfully, I have found nicer, caring people along my journey in life, and for that I'd like to thank all of the kind people in the world. -- UNEXPECTED SUCCESS

DEAR UNEXPECTED SUCCESS: Your letter shocked me. I am glad to know how you are doing. Although people age, it's apparent that not all of them mature.

In case you haven't yet realized it, you weren't the only student in your class with problems. People who would behave as you have described were obviously born without a heart. It is inexcusable for you to have been treated the way you were. In recognition of the challenges you have overcome, you should have been the guest of honor at the reunion.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man for 15 months. I know he has three sisters and a brother. All he has said is they are not close and he doesn't keep in touch with them. There are no cards at holiday time, no phone calls or any mention of any of them (there are nieces and nephews, too), and no explanation about why they don't talk.

Should I be concerned that he doesn't share any of this with me? He has been very involved with my entire family, but I have never met a single relative of his. -- KEPT IN THE DARK IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR KEPT IN THE DARK: After 15 months of dating, you should be able to discuss this with him and get some honest answers. There are probably good reasons why this man and his family are estranged. They may have been abusive to him, or he may be the black sheep of the family. But you will never know unless you ask directly.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I gave my new (at that time) girlfriend, "Alyssa," a pair of earrings for her birthday. They were in a box from a department store marked "fine jewelry." She loved them and became emotional in expressing her gratitude. I thought it was because it was the first piece of jewelry I had ever bought for her.

When she opened the box I explained that they were her birthstone -- sapphires -- but white sapphires. In her excitement she must have missed that part.

The earrings are large -- maybe one carat apiece. Yesterday I overheard my granddaughter ask Alyssa if they were real diamonds, and Alyssa told her yes!

I kept my mouth shut when she said it, but now I understand why she was so excited when she first saw them. She cherishes the earrings and has told me numerous times she will never take them off.

I want to make this right, but I'm afraid she'll feel embarrassed because she must have told her girlfriends and family I gave her diamond earrings -- which I didn't. Abby, what do I do? -- LOVING BOYFRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BOYFRIEND: You should straighten this out with your girlfriend, but do it privately. After that, let her disclose the fact that her diamond earrings are really sapphires at her discretion -- or not.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's daughter and her husband are in their early 40s. When they invite us to visit them, there is never any preparation or advance planning. They provide no clean sheets or towels. If they order out, they expect us to pay.

When they visit us, they leave beer cans in the bookcases, devour all snacks without asking, etc. Their house smells strongly of pet odors. If we opt to stay in a hotel, they are offended.

Every occasion revolves around drinking alcohol, and lots of it. I'll have one drink, so they won't say I am uptight and feel uncomfortable around me. My husband is intimidated by his strong-willed daughter, and wishes this just would all go away.

There have been many, many more incidents and overall generally narcissistic and rude behavior. My husband wants a relationship with his daughter. What to do? -- JUST WANTS TO RELAX

DEAR JUST WANTS: You either grin and bear it -- and that includes laundering your own sheets and towels when you visit -- or send your husband to visit his daughter alone.

DEAR ABBY: A very good friend of mine had a facelift. I'm out of the country, so I have only seen pictures of her. I don't think it looks good at all. It looks fake and, in my opinion, has ruined her looks.

What should I say when I see her or when she asks me directly what I think of it? I hate to lie, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. -- HONEST FRIEND

DEAR HONEST: Sometimes people can be "too" honest, so be diplomatic if you are asked directly. Tell her you always thought she was beautiful -- inside and out -- and thought she looked great before, but if she's happy with the result, that's what's important.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 years old, and I want to know how I can make my life easier and not be as shy as I am. I have a lot of friends at school, but of course they're not popular either. I want to still have those friends, but I'd like to be able to strike up conversations with other people. When I try, I get nervous and chicken out before I can get a word out.

I want to improve my communication skills and come across as more friendly and natural. My aunt told me you have a booklet that can help. If you do, how do I get one? -- NICOLE FROM NEVADA

DEAR NICOLE: Everybody wants to be well-liked, accepted, feel needed, appreciated -- and of course, loved. It's essential to a person's self-esteem to know other people think they're worth having as a friend.

If you think you're alone in being shy, let me assure you that you have lots of company. No one emerges from the womb knowing how to be social. It's a skill that has to be developed. Like you, many others could use a little coaching on how to be the kind of person others find attractive, interesting and worth knowing.

Achieving it isn't always easy because social skills don't come naturally to everyone. My booklet "How to Be Popular" contains tips on how to approach others, and what to say and not say when trying to make conversation. You can order one by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. When you get it, don't just read it once. Keep it on hand for reference because it contains many helpful suggestions for polishing social skills -- which, like any other skills, takes time, effort and practice.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently begun a relationship with my biological father, "Frank," after not seeing him since I was 4. My mother and stepfather raised me and I am very close to them. But after talking to Frank and meeting him face to face, I have gotten close to him as well.

His relationship with Mom ended badly. They were very young and he takes all the blame. Mom has always said that if I have a relationship with Frank, she wants no part of it. After I told her I have been talking to him for two years, she became upset and has been short with me and my wife ever since.

I want to continue to develop what I have with my biological father, but I'm not sure how to handle Mom if she's going to be so hurt and upset over it. Can you advise? -- ANDY IN GEORGIA

DEAR ANDY: Tell your mother you have noticed a change in her behavior, and feel that she is punishing you for having an interest in knowing your biological father. If that's the case, in the future do not discuss anything about Frank with her since she has made clear that she doesn't want to hear it.

If you haven't discussed this with your stepfather, please consider enlisting his help because he may be able to explain your feelings to your mother better than you can.