DEAR ABBY: Last year my boyfriend and I moved across the country to Arizona so he could be closer to his friends and family. My entire family lives on the East Coast.

Recently it seems like our plan to marry and start a family keeps getting pushed further and further into the future. I'm 35; he's 47. Neither of us has been married or has kids.

I'm beginning to regret having uprooted my life for someone who is unilaterally changing the timing of what I thought we both wanted. How long should I wait before cutting my losses and moving closer to the people I care for and who miss me? -- ALONE IN THE DESERT

DEAR ALONE: If you haven't already, it's time to have a conversation with your boyfriend about what your expectations were when you made the move to Arizona. If you want to have children, you will be getting a late start as it is.

Ask him why he wants to postpone your wedding plans beyond what you had agreed upon. He may have cold feet, his friends or relatives may have said they don't care for you -- anything is possible. But you deserve straight answers, and if they aren't satisfactory, I see no reason to devote more time to a relationship that isn't working out.

DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago my sister's 19-year-old son was killed in a car accident. After the wake she gave me a heart necklace with some of his ashes. We no longer speak and haven't for four years.

Well, did I get a shock today. I received an email from her asking for it back! She even had my stepmom repeat that message to me. I don't believe she has the right to ask for the necklace. Does she? -- BLUE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BLUE: Because you are no longer speaking, I can understand why your sister might want her son's ashes back. Be a lady; return the necklace to her via registered mail or have your stepmother give it to her. It's regrettable that your relationship with your sister has sunk to this level. Because this was no ordinary gift, understand that if you refuse to return it, your relationship with your sister will be permanently fractured.

DEAR ABBY: So many of your letters involve people having difficulty communicating with others. Here's a safe, honest, straightforward technique for targeting the behavior, sharing feelings and explaining the reasons for those feelings. It is called an "I-Statement" and has three parts: (1) "When you ..." (2) "I feel/felt ..." (3) "Because ..."

I-Statements can be used for the sharing of any and all feelings by kids, teens and adults. Feelings are valid because they are our honest emotions. In addition to giving positive strokes to one another, people can learn to better understand each other and have whole, complete and satisfying resolutions to problems. Try it! -- SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST (RETIRED) IN OHIO

DEAR PSYCHOLOGIST: I will! When I received your suggestion about improving communication, I felt grateful that you took the time to share it because it was not only generous of you but also may be helpful to many of my readers. Thank you for sending it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband works as a bouncer at a strip club. I was OK with it at first, but then he started making friends with the dancers and waitresses. They exchange phone numbers, and he talks to some of them late at night when I'm sleeping. I get upset and jealous that these women are getting his time. It causes fights. What should I do? -- WIFE OF A TEXAS BOUNCER

DEAR WIFE: Is your husband placing these calls, or are the women calling him? Tell him you feel they are a threat to your marriage and ask why the calls happen after you have gone to bed.

It's possible the conversations are innocent. The women may relate to him because his job makes them feel "safe" with him. Many co-workers converse after work. Because a woman works in a strip club doesn't mean she's a predator.

However, because the timing of these calls bothers you, ask him if he would have them call before work rather than afterward when you would like him in bed with you.

DEAR ABBY: I host holiday dinners and always invite my husband's side of the family as well as mine. Each time, my brother's wife, "Arlene," asks if my husband's family will be there, and says if they are, they won't attend. They are the only ones who don't show up; all the rest of my family does.

When I asked Arlene if she has a problem with my husband's side of the family, she said no, she just feels we don't pay as much attention to her when there is "so much family."

I have tried having separate dinners, but as the years have passed, it has gotten harder to cook two Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners on separate days. After 30 years of this, I'm tired of having my feelings hurt and trying to please my brother and his wife. How am I supposed to respond when she texts me telling me that if it's just our family they'll attend? -- TIRED OF IT IN IOWA

DEAR TIRED: You are too kind. I wish you had asked this question 30 years ago because, if you had, I could have spared you a lot of grief. The next time your self-centered sister-in-law pulls that stunt, send her a text saying, "Sorry you can't make it. We'll miss you!" Then add a smiling emoji.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter sent out save-the-date cards for her wedding next year. Many of our family members live out of state and abroad.

Save-the-date cards were also sent to my co-workers. When the wedding happens, I will have been gone from that company for three months. Does sending the card obligate us to invite people who will then be my former co-workers? -- UNSURE IN FORT LAUDERDALE

DEAR UNSURE: Yes. If you don't send an invitation or an explanation, your former co-workers may feel they were asked to save the date not because they were considered friends, but that it was a bid for more gifts for your daughter. And they wouldn't be wrong.

DEAR ABBY: When reading letters in your column concerning breast cancer, my heart goes out to every single person who has ever been diagnosed with this terrible disease. I have no respect for any man who cuts and runs when his wife is diagnosed with cancer.

But what do you think about a woman who is diagnosed and whose husband remains with her through the fear and worry, the chemo, radiation, hair loss and all the follow-up? A husband who worries constantly for her and whose biggest fear is losing his wonderful wife, and after all this -- she leaves him for another man?

It has been more than seven years. I'm asking for feedback in the hope that people can view this issue not just from my perspective, but also from the afflicted loved one's perspective as well. -- STILL WONDERING

DEAR STILL WONDERING: A diagnosis of a life-threatening illness can make a marriage stronger or it can destroy it. While I'm reluctant to attribute a reason for what your wife did without hearing from her, I can't help but think that she left because the cancer made her realize how short life is and, as much as you loved her, the marriage wasn't a fulfilling one for her.

How sad for you, and I'm truly sorry. Because it's clear you haven't yet been able to get beyond what happened, you could benefit from discussing this with a licensed psychotherapist.

DEAR ABBY: I am considering proposing to my girlfriend, "Angela." My problem is, I'm having doubts because I don't know if she is "The One" -- or if such a thing really exists. I don't want to lose her because I'm searching for some mythical goddess on a pedestal. Angela is my best friend and I'd do anything for her. I don't want to string her along, but I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is just cold feet.

Next year I will be in medical school through the military. I think I want to move our relationship forward, but I could use some advice. Please help me make sure I don't hurt her, either by proposing when I shouldn't, or by leaving in search of the Holy Grail of relationships. -- ANONYMOUS IN AMERICA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Why are you are putting this pressure on yourself now? Because you are unsure, you should leave for medical school. Once you are there, you will be immersed in your studies and you will also meet others. If your feelings for Angela are as strong as they are now after six months, revisit the idea of proposing marriage. But don't do it now if in your heart you're looking for a woman with qualities Angela doesn't possess, because it would be unfair to both of you.